Break the Cycle

Progress?:A move and an experiment

The good news is I've had significantly fewer problems with my anger since I moved to Minneapolis. Even though the weather is frigid, the people are not, which has helped me get some perspective. I've been here just a little over a month and face some challenges in the immediate future. These challenges could either ignite old triggers or even bring new ones to light. This has lead to a new experiment in anger management.

After reading some stupid articles on the internet, my temper flared big time (as in if Perez Hilton showed up at my door tomorrow I'd punch his nose until his sinus cavities collapsed). So, I'm going to try something new: listing ten reasons why I shouldn't act a certain way in response to an anger trigger. Tonight it's going to be hitting someone, and remember. The reasons are not ranked. They're just listed as I come up with them.

I do not want felony charges on my permanent record.

I do not want to punch someone only to find that it results in me becoming terminally ill. (I'm thinking of contracting AIDS due to getting my hand cut in a fight and that wound being exposed to an infected person's blood.)

I do not want mi amor to leave me.

I do not want people tailing me seeking vengeance for hitting someone they know/love.

I do not want to get physically injured in a fight.

I do not want to know how my family would react to hearing about it.

I cannot afford to waste my time and energy on such pursuits.

Hits have long term consequences that I don't see. However, the thought of rendering those consequences is a huge burden on my conscience.

It's hard for me to remember this, but in most cases, hitting someone is a sign of cowardice; I am not a coward.

I do not want to be seen as an abuser or someone who is potentially absuive.

Wow. That was hard, much harder than I expected. I don't know if I'll do that again anytime soon. It's possible, but I'm not sure right now.