Someone to Love Me.

Chapter Five

Chapter Five









All things considered, the evening turned out to be a great success.  Patrick and Kathleen O’Donnell were wonderful company and Catherine fell in love with the soft lilt of their Irish accent.  She could have listened to them forever even though; at times she lost the gist of the conversation she was trying so hard to follow. 
         If she thought that Luke looked somewhat uncomfortable at times she didn’t let it bother her too much, she just continued to enjoy herself. 
         All too soon the evening came to an end simply because Patrick and Kate had quite a long journey home and didn’t want to leave too late.  After confirming the time of tomorrows meeting they said their goodbyes and left.
         “Would you like a nightcap” Luke asked, still seeming ill at ease.  Catherine replied in the negative.  She was not a big drinker, it had been a long day and she was ready for bed.  Boy was she ready for bed! 
         Still looking decidedly uncomfortable Luke acceded to her wishes and taking her arm in his they headed for their suite.  Keeping hold of her as he unlocked the door Luke pulled her into the room and pushed the door shut with the heel of his boot.  He was wearing them even with a tuxedo but she was becoming used to them by now.
Hell, she would probably miss them if he didn’t wear them! 
         Still holding her arm Luke leaned his back against the door and swung her round to face him.  She fitted the length of him perfectly he thought as he slid his arms round her waist and pulled her close against his long, hot length. 
         “Darlin’ do you know what you’re doing to me” he murmured bringing his mouth close to her ear. 
         Catherine shivered, she knew exactly what she was doing to him; the evidence was right there between them.  She trembled, but this time it was with anticipation not trepidation!  She was ready to start living again and tonight was going to be her new beginning. 
         Looking into his eyes, she slid her arms up around his neck and stretched to press feathery kisses to the corner of his mouth.  She could feel his arousal pressing further into the softness of her belly and like a contented cat she rubbed herself up against him. 
         “Catherine” he breathed “I can’t keep holding back.  Don’t do this to me darlin’ unless you’re prepared to follow it through” 
         She looked dreamily up into his eyes knowing he couldn’t fail to read the message there.  “I’ll follow it all the way” she sighed pressing herself closer. 
         His hands slipped behind her to slowly lower the zipper on her dress.  “Darlin I’ve been dreaming of doing this all night.  How the hell I managed to look at you and still keep a sensible conversation going all evening the Lord alone knows.” 
         Catherine chuckled at the image she had of him lowering her zipper her in the middle of the restaurant.  My, that would have raised a few eyebrows! 
         Meanwhile the dress, now unfastened, began a slow glide down her body.  It slid silkily over her smooth curves before coming to rest in a shimmering pool around her ankles, leaving her standing before him in nothing but three inch evening sandals and with just a flimsy scrap of lace to cover her modesty. 
         Luke sucked in a breath.  “Sweetheart, you are just so beautiful,” he said with a voice that was full of awe.  She blushed as she tried to hide her nakedness.           
         “Don’t,” he said as he took her in his arms.  “Don’t ever be ashamed of your body.”  He carried her easily through to his bedroom and laid her down on the king sized bed. 
         She looked up at him with a sparkle in her eye.  “Aren’t you slightly overdressed,” she whispered with a hesitant smile. 
         Luke grinned as he slowly began to remove his clothes until he was standing before her, naked and very proud. 
         Catherine couldn’t take her eyes from the sight of his perfect body and his obvious arousal. If a man could be called beautiful then he was beautiful. 
         Lying on his side next to her he began to gently caress her breasts taking her nipples between his finger and thumb and teasing them tenderly.  Gasping, Catherine felt a tug of want that travelled right to the very core of her being.  Arching her back she pushed her breasts towards him eagerly as she wantonly begged for more. 
         Replacing his fingers with his mouth Luke grazed her nipple with his teeth and then began to suckle first one breast and then the other, pulling each rosy peak into his mouth and circling it with his tongue. 
         When Catherine thought she couldn’t possibly take any more he began to kiss and taste his way slowly down her body until finally, he reached the triangle of lace that covered her modesty.  He deftly removed the flimsy scrap. 
         Dear God, her nerve ends were screaming out for consummation.  If she felt like this now, how would she feel after full intimacy?  Catherine had to know!  She didn’t want to wait.  She couldn’t wait! 
         Luke moved to kneel between her legs and as he bent down towards her centre she realised what he was about to do. Uttering a low moan Catherine reached out to stop him. 
         “No” he said holding her hands away.  “Let me do this for you darlin.” 
Spreading her legs, his mouth came down to her and his gently probing tongue began to taste her sensitive bud.  Catherine moaned, while her hands grasped the sheet on either side of her as she threw her head from side to side.  Her legs opened wider, offering more of herself to him as the feelings intensified.  Sliding his hands under her bottom he lifted her closer as he sipped from her until she felt herself carried on a climatic spiral of feeling so intense she thought she would die.
         Luke gently lowered her hips back to the bed and raised himself
over her pressing his rigid erection against her soft folds.  Like a blossom she opened for him and he entered her slowly, savouring the moment.  He felt her muscles tense as he pushed further and then he felt the barrier!  It took a moment for his mind to register that she was still a virgin!  Unbelievable!  He was the first man to be intimate with her. 
         “Please Luke- don’t stop.”  She looked up at him, smiled and wrapped her long legs around his waist. 
         Hell, it was like a cattle stampede – he couldn’t have stopped even if he wanted to and he sure as hell didn’t want to.
         Luke pushed again and Catherine suffered a quick stab of pain followed by such breathtaking sensations she could never have imagined in a lifetime.  She felt the timeless rhythm he was setting as he filled her and she went with him, climbing higher and higher until they both exploded in an electric mass of sensual energy. 
         Spent but still coupled to Luke as his body covered hers, Catherine kept her legs tight around his waist reluctant to set him free as pulse after pulse of sensual energy continued to throb where her heated flesh surrounded his velvet length.
         Dear Lord, so this was what she’d been missing.  No one had ever aroused her senses or even begun to fill her with such ecstasy as Luke had.  She knew now why she had remained untouched for so long.  Not only her heart but every other part of her body had been waiting for this man.  She was his and always would be whether he wanted her or not!
         Her hands moved timidly over the hard planes of his chest and she felt his reaction as she rubbed her palms over his nipples.  It was empowering to know that she could elicit a reaction just by touching him.  Was it possible that he felt something for her?
         Catherine wanted this magic night to last forever but sadly the morning sun was already pushing its way into the room through the gauzy curtains. 
         Stretching lazily like a satisfied cat she opened her eyes to find herself looking into two pools of chocolate brown.  Luke was lying besides her with his weight resting on his elbow as he watched her sleep. His masculinity and the intimacy of the situation made her heated body tremble.
         “Mornin’ darlin’” he smiled down at her.  “Sleep well?” 
         He had to be joking; they’d hardly slept at all until the early hours when finally they had both drifted off through sheer exhaustion.  They’d made love twice more through the night and he had taken her places she never knew existed.
         Catherine’s body had thrilled to his experienced touch as he taught her things she could never have imagined, while she had discovered in turn, what it took to please him.
         How had she gone from packing her bags ready for leaving, to ending up delightfully sated in his bed?  He’d turned her world upside down as he bypassed all the standards she had set for herself.  And she’d let him. 
         And if that wasn’t enough, more fool her; she knew she was falling hopelessly in love with him!    He must never find out how she felt!  Catherine knew that he wasn’t interested in a long term relationship.  She knew that she was and that she would need to prepare her mind and body to withstand the loss when he decided he’d had enough and it was time to move on. 
         She was positive that he would move on once the novelty wore off.  She would take whatever he had to give but Catherine also knew that she’d need to learn to hide her heartache well and what better time to start than the present. 
         Giving him her brightest smile she started to get up from the bed but his arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her back against him.  “Don’t I get a good mornin’ kiss,” Luke murmured in her ear, his warm breath sending shivers darting through her body.   
         Catherine began to melt, like warm caramel but then had second thoughts. She jabbed him with her elbow and he let her go.  “Not ‘til I’ve cleaned my teeth darlin’” she whispered.   
         He laughed as he watched her walk, very sexy and very naked from the room.  She hoped he couldn’t see through her act to her heart, which was slowly dying inside her.

                                                      ******

         Catherine never did get round to giving Luke that good morning kiss which was probably for the best anyway. She didn’t need any
added distractions and work had to take priority at the moment. 
         Most of the day was going to be taken up by business meetings and Catherine soon found that she was far too busy working to think about last night’s activities.  They hadn’t left her mind but she was just about managing to keep her feelings under control for the time being. 
         Luke seemed to have slipped effortlessly back into business mode which stung a little but tonight, well hopefully after last night tonight would take care of itself.  If she was going to suffer the pain of heartbreak then she was determined to enjoy the pleasure while it lasted.  The thought had her body quickening with anticipation.  Making herself concentrate on her work, she pushed the events of last night to the back of her mind, but only for the moment.
         The day dragged endlessly on and for Catherine it wasn’t helped by Luke’s attitude.  His ability to switch from boss to lover and back with no effort at all confused her.  She didn’t expect him to pay her special attention, not while they were working but some small sign recognising what they’d shared would have gone a long way towards easing her bewilderment.
         That evening they ate dinner in the hotel restaurant but it was a far cry from the meal they’d shared the evening before with the O’Donnells. In fact Catherine couldn’t wait for it to end.  Conversation was at a minimum and she wasn’t sure enough of herself to be able to talk about what had happened between them last night.  Furthermore it seemed that Luke had no intention of mentioning it.  For all he seemed to care for her, last night might never have happened.
         At eight o’clock Catherine couldn’t take any more small talk.  With a deep feeling of dejection she decided that enough was enough.  She stood and excused herself.  As any gentleman would, Luke stood when she did but instead of accompanying her back to their rooms he told her he was going to have a night-cap before he retired. He turned and walked away leaving Catherine to make her own way back to their suite. 
         Now what was she supposed to make of that!  Her first and incidentally her only affair hadn’t lasted very long had it? 
         It seemed that James was right all those years ago when he told her that she didn’t have what it took to capture a man’s attention for more than a short span of time.  She’d captured Luke’s just long enough for him to take what she so lovingly offered before turning his back on her and walking away. 
         How did the saying go?  Wham, bam, and thank-you ma’am.    The proverbial one night stand and then back to business.  Maybe he didn’t do virgins!  If this was a joke then it was on her!
         Catherine was humiliated, she felt used, but more than anything she was angry.  OK, she knew it wasn’t going to be forever but she had given him something that was precious to her, something that could only be gifted once.  She hadn’t expected him to take her gift and toss it away as though it was nothing at all.  What a romantic idiot she’d turned out to be after all her resolutions to the contrary. 
         It had taken Luke little or no effort to break down all her barriers and like a fool, she’d let him.  Hell, she hadn’t just let him she’d gone out of her way to help him.  He must have found her so damned easy; she’d laid everything out on a plate for him more fool her!  There weren’t enough adjectives to describe how she felt about herself.  Weak, idiotic, stupid, dim, brainless; the list was endless!
         Alighting from the lift, she let herself into their suite where she began to pace backwards and forwards as the dejection transformed into an anger that grew and grew until she could control it no longer.  She was going to have to say something to him and it might as well be now while her temper was all fired up.
         Before she could change her mind she headed back down to the bar. As she strode towards the entrance she spotted Luke standing with his back to her.  As if she wasn’t suffering enough pain Catherine realised that someone was clinging to him like a barnacle to a ship’s hull. The face was familiar, but then of course it would be.  It belonged to Claire O’Donnell, Patrick and Kate’s twenty-two year old daughter. 
         Now you would expect typically Irish parents to have a typically Irish daughter; but no, not the O’Donnell’s.  Claire was as far removed from a red headed, freckle faced Irish colleen as you could get!    She was model slim with short blonde hair and legs that went all the way up to her armpits.  Add that to pouting lips and come to
bed eyes that were focussed on Luke to the exclusion of all else and there you had Claire O’Donnell. 
         She worked for her Father and Catherine had noticed during the days meetings that she seemed more than eager to settle herself wherever Luke was.  In fact she’d followed him around like a shadow all day much to Catherine’s acute annoyance.  Now, as the haze cleared from her mind the truth was there before her eyes in full view, plaguing her. 
         It was obvious to Catherine that they must have arranged to meet tonight.  Small wonder Luke didn’t have much to say over dinner and now she new why he’d left her to find her own way back to their rooms.  He had other fish to fry!  How could he spend the night with her and then the very next day arrange a rendezvous with Claire?           The man had no scruples!  Thank God she hadn’t made a bigger fool of herself by mentioning over dinner, what had happened between them last night.
         She choked back the tears that were threatening to fall as her self-esteem plummeted to rock bottom again.  How stupid can one person be?  Would she never learn?  She turned and fled back to the suite before they had a chance to see her. She needed to spend some time rebuilding her shattered defences.
         It was close to midnight and Catherine had been in bed for a while when she heard Luke return.  She was a million miles away from sleep as she listened to him making his way to bed.  She was certain that he was on his own but that didn’t mean much, he’d been gone for nearly four hours and she was sure he could be pretty inventive if he needed to be. And with her sharing his suite – he’d need to be!  The thought sent more arrows to pierce her heart and it was almost morning before she finally succumbed to sleep.

                                                        ***
Catherine woke with a start to the sound of someone knocking and calling her name.
         “Just a minute” she called sleepily, reaching for her robe.  She opened the door to Luke who stood there dressed and ready for the day.  Attempting to bring her sleep tousled hair to some kind of order she faced him knowing that she probably looked dreadful. 
         “Yes?”  She was determined to keep conversation to the minimum! 
         “Mornin’ darlin’.”  He was back to calling her darlin’ and wearing Armani she noticed.  She preferred the cowboy!
         Those missing ‘g’s’ were starting to set her nerves on edge again.  She gritted her teeth.
         “I’m giving you the mornin’ off,” he told her with a heart stopping smile.
          “And don’t we know why you’re smiling,” tormented a little voice in Catherine’s head!
         “You can have some time to yourself; I can manage what needs to be done today.”
         “Oh, we’re certain you can,” teased the voice!
         “Go do some shopping, visit a museum, I’m sure you can find something to pass the time.  I’ll be finished by mid-day so I’ve arranged flights for this evening.  We leave here at four o’clock. Things haven’t taken as long to finalise as I expected so there’s no point us hangin’ around.” 
         He hardly stopped to draw breath and before Catherine could utter a word he was gone.  There was no sign of the tiredness she would have expected him to show after romping with a twenty-two year old.  No shortage of stamina there then, but of course she knew that herself didn’t she?
         Catherine was devastated.  He’d spent one night with her, taken what he wanted and that was it?  What an unfeeling bastard.  In her mind he was much worse than her Father and James put together because he’d used his devastating masculinity to lift her to heart- stopping heights.  He had shown her what could be and then left her to plunge back down to earth alone, while he had his next conquest lined up and waiting in the wings. 
         How naïve can you get?  She’d begun the game before she’d read the rules.  She decided that she didn’t like the rules or the game anymore!

                                                        ***
         The journey home was pretty much the same as the outward one.    Nothing had been said about their shared night, in fact what little conversation they had stuck to banalities.  Catherine pretended to finish reading her book while Luke continued to work on his computer and before she knew it they were back and the Jaguar was pulling up outside her apartment. 
         Funny wasn’t it, how it never seemed to take as long to get home after a trip, not that she was complaining.  At this moment in time home was where she most wanted to be, back among familiar things. 
         Catherine didn’t hang around for Luke to open the car door for her.  She was out and waiting for her luggage by the time he’d put the handbrake on.  He carried her suitcase to the door and it was obvious to Catherine that he was inviting himself in.  No way Jose, she thought and turned to him with a plastic smile. 
         “Thank you,” she said, taking the case from him, “I can manage from here.  An early night for me and then I’ll be ready for work in the morning.” 
         As far as Catherine was concerned he could go find another playmate.  She’d had enough ‘fun’ to last her a lifetime.  If Luke was disappointed then he had the grace not to show it.  As he leaned forward to kiss her goodbye she turned her head to one side. He missed her mouth and had to be content with her cheek.  Catherine unlocked the door and went inside closing it firmly behind her.           Thank goodness he hadn’t pressed the point because she was sure that if they had locked lips she would now be dragging him inside and devouring him whole instead of shutting him out. How weak can a body get?
         The following day dawned dull and rainy matching Catherine’s mood to perfection.  She hadn’t slept well and work was nowhere near the top of her ‘to do’ list.  But she had to go in and she had to try and give the impression that everything in her garden was rosy when to tell the truth she felt that everything was overgrown and choking to death with weeds. 
         She arrived at her office, put the coffee on to percolate (some things never changed) and booted up her computer.  She was opening the post as usual when Luke walked in.  She put on a ‘smiley’ face in answer to his cheerful “good-mornin’ darlin’” and continued with what she was doing.  If he thought she was acting oddly then he kept it to himself.  Personally at this moment in time she really wasn’t too bothered what he thought!
         For Catherine the morning was going reasonably well considering the way she was feeling but Sod’s law said something was sure to come along and spoil things for her and so she was ready and waiting for disaster. 
She’d decided to have a working lunch.  Well, a salad sandwich at her computer and had just filled her cup from the percolator when Luke walked through from his office.  He perched himself on the edge of Catherine’s desk 
         A debilitating heat coursed through her body at his closeness.  It made no difference what her mind was telling her, she still wanted him even though she knew from experience that what you wanted and what you got were often two very different things. 
         “Is everything all right sweetheart?”  Her stomach hit the floor and bounced back.  It was going to take what little acting ability she possessed and more beside to keep her true feelings hidden from him. 
         “Yes, everything’s fine thank you.” 
         His brown eyes gave her a knowing ‘I don’t believe you’ look.  “Have dinner with me tonight?”
         Catherine blinked.  “No thanks” 
         “Why not,” he challenged.
         It’s like twenty bloody questions she thought and grasping at straws, came up with the first thing that entered her mind.  “Sorry I can’t, I’ve arranged to meet with some of the Music Society members to discuss our next performance.” 
         If he didn’t believe her – tough!  It was only a little white lie.  Catherine didn’t like lying to him or anyone else for that matter but outside of work her time was her own and she needed to keep as much distance between them as she could.  She was sorely tempted to say yes but she knew they would only end up back in the bedroom and as much as she’d relished their last encounter she knew now that she didn’t want to be just one more notch on his bedpost. 
         Luke must have sensed her hesitation and tried again.  “What about Friday then?  I’ve been invited to a house party with friends in Dorset. They would make you welcome darlin’ and we could make a long weekend of it, enjoy a bit of walking. They have horses too.  Do you ride?” 
         Yes, she rode and if Catherine had been able to believe that he truly cared for her it would have meant the world to go with him but she knew he didn’t so why torture herself with ‘what ifs’. 
         Swallowing her disappointment she forced another lie past her lips.  “Sorry, I already have plans for this weekend.”  She could tell by Luke’s face that he didn’t believe her and she turned away from him as her neck and face began to turn red.   
         He shot her a puzzled look and without another word returned to his office.
         By the time Friday came around Catherine was feeling so low she could probably have danced a limbo under the nearest door. 
         Luke had hardly spoken to her since she refused his offer of a weekend away.  If things went down-hill much more then they wouldn’t even have a working relationship.  Not that they had any other kind of relationship she reminded herself.
         Luke left the office early in order to get a head start on the rush hour traffic.  He would be well on his way to Dorset by now leaving Catherine to spend another lonely weekend wondering if she’d done the right thing!