500 Words a Day

31 December, 2007; 505 Words

Today is the last day that I can sham on this whole 'write five-hundred word a day' thing.  January is on the horizon--coming quick--and today begins the daily write-a-thon.  Five Hundred words.  Dear god, that's a whole heck of a lot, I've realized admittedly.  Hell, I'm not even drunk yet, and that is the grand requirement for me to write.  Now, if you've made it this far, you have realized that I am breaking conjunctions just to make multiple words: is this what I have become?  BAH, I hate this slothful Christmas season, all indulgence.  Laziness has taken hold of me; at least when it comes to writing.  I put so much work on my plate, that I cannot seem to keep a hold of what I have already got to eat.

Where was I?  Ah, yes, I'm writing about Sarah and that whole bunch of assholes.  Without reading back, lemme remember.  Ah, yes, she is a whore and her dad is a murderer.  No, wait, that's not right.  She is not a whore.  How can hers be a love story if she throws her body around like a rug?  That was a shitty metaphor.  I do not even understand what I meant.  It has become no less than obvious to me that I am in dire need for a drink.  This cannot possibly be what she meant about writing five hundred words a day.  I should be disqualified for stupidity.  That assumes, of course, that someone actually bothers to read this.  You are a sorry, bored, bastard if you have actually made it this far.  To think that I actually plan on going to college for writing!

She said that I can write reviews, so here goes:  The Squeezebox, made by Logitech, is badass.  I suggest--no I insist strongly--that you, yes YOU, go out and buy one right now.  Christmas is over, and you can spend money again.  Shill out that Three-Hundred bucks; thank me when you're listening to your favorite music or radio station on your stereo.  Right now, in Texas, I'm listening to my favorite AM station in North Carolina.  Coast to Coast is on, and I'm having a grand old time listening to George Norry.  I would try to pick up local AM stations, but none of the ones that have Coast to Coast reach me.  Now, with a Squeezebox, I can hear it all I want, in streaming radio greatness.  This does not, of course, include the thousand other shows I can hear now.  It's so simple, and I can control it with a simple remote control.  It looks great mixed in with my High Fidelity Receiver and Surround Sound speakers.

Yes, I know what she meant by a review.  I do not care.  It's the best that I can do without actually making any effort whatsoever.  If you have any comments or complaints concerning what I chose to write today, you are more than welcome to write a comment, venting your stark hatred for my use of your time.