This is me rambling on and on about...whatever I feel like. Nice, eh? |
I'm trying to quit dwelling on the things I should have said except they sit right in my stomach and are pretty hard to ignore. The words burn and they stir and I feel all wobbly inside and out. Trying to hold them in makes me shake makes me blind. I see nothing else besides the words and my anger and my frustration and my fear all piled together into one big punch in my gut. I want to scream. I want to lash out. Just please anything To let these crazy emotions loose. They are zipping around like moths on a street light, or echos in a tunnel. Spinning and slushing like the wash machine cycle. Making me dizzy, dizzy inside. I should have stood up for you. Should have helped out. It's not fair to leave you defenseless like that shoved down by more words. (That have more effect than many people think). I saw the way they tore into your face Like sharp scratches And it was all I could do not to bring the situation out into the open for everyone to see. I dunno if you'd want that. So I patted your head as if to say "Yeah, I did see that. and it's alright." It reminded me of bystanders. Sitting along the sidelines watching Like your pain entertains them. And your happiness will somehow cheer them up. Or maybe they are just too afraid to speak up and interfere. Like me. Me, afraid. Me, a wimp. I can admit it only to myself. Who knows what others would think if they found out? I'm taking the road more often traveled by and I'm kind of sick of that route if you know what I mean. Worrying, wondering, wishing, instead of Living, loving, and just plain going for it. I'm starting to annoy myself or maybe it's just the situation I dunno. And I'm too tired to figure it out right now. More later~ Bye |