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Yeah Me*

Yeah me...I didn't write that, (hence the asterix thingy). It's actually someone's handle I saw recently. I like it...Yeah me...What a nifty handle. It's so positive. So many people are down on themselves. Sometimes it's nice to get cheered on...(even if you have to do the cheering yourself).

Yeah me! Yeah me! Yeah me! Yeah me!

Okay, that's enough me cheering for one journal entry. All that jumping up and down, hand waving and shouting was drawing too much attention to myself. I forgot I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert. I'm not really comfortable with everybody staring at me like this. Show's over folks. Please look away. Go back to what you were doing.

Moving on then...

This is a yucky time of year where I live. I'm glad there are definite seasons here but there's only so much snow, slush and freezing rain a person can take before the novelty wears off. I look forward to hearing the birds sing again. Everything looks so grimey and dirty outside right now.

On a related subject, it's alright if you're in love with me dear reader. (Okay, so that's not even a semi-rated subject. If you want to read well thought out entries you're in the wrong journal) As I was saying, it's alright if you're in love with me. (You know who you are) I don't mind. I unfortunately can't return your love, for I'm in love with someone else. I haven't met the person I'm in love with yet, but I'm sure she's out there, somewhere. Of course she'll be absolutely gorgeous, be super intelligent and insightful, caring, compassionate, trusting, have a wickedly awesome sense of humour, an impish twinkle in her eye, be curious, faithful and courteous, as well as having all her own teeth. (I don't mind if she wears dentures, they just have to be her own. None of that denture sharing among close girlfriends stuff that seems to be so popular nowadays) I wonder if she'll be the female version of me? (Except for the denture swapping. I don't share my dentures with nobody) Are we attracted to the opposite gender version of ourselves? I hadn't given that much thought before. It's interesting but a bit kinky.

Continuing with my dream girl fantasy...

I have a strong feeling I'll meet her soon...perhaps next Wednesday even...no, not next Wednesday. I have a court appearance on Wednesday. (Stupid vagrancy bylaws) Thursday perhaps then? Yes Thursday would be good for me. That should give me plenty of time to shave my back hair and practice my witty banter. I think I should meet her in a nonthreatening, yet cozy, initmate public place. The local animal shelter maybe? No...too many bad memories. How about the library then? Yes. I like whispering. I can pretend to be checking out the cookbook and recipe section. I envision she'll approach me from behind, tap me on the shoulder, and whisper in my ear how nice my hairless back looks, (although I'll wonder how she can tell with my shirt and winter coat on. She must be psychic as well as gorgeous). I'll probably giggle at that, but then immediately regret giggling, as guys don't giggle. We laugh heartily, but laughing heartily gets you thrown out of libraries. She'll no doubt sense my regret over not having made a better first impression and offer to come back the following Tuesday and try again...to which I'd probably reply..."I'm sorry. Tuesday's not good for me. My dog's getting married on Tuesday", (which of course is a lie as my dog died several years ago). She'll no doubt already know this...being psychic and all, and offer to

Hang on a sec...

I forgot to mention I sense my ideal dream girl won't be able to speak a word of English. Obviously things would be MUCH easier if we didn't have to use sign language to communicate but I can't help sensing what I sense. My ideal dream girl won't be able to understand a word I say. Shit. I wonder if this has anything to do with The Planet of the Apes movie I saw years ago? I've always thought the final scene in The Planet of the Apes...the original one...where Charlton Heston rides away on horseback with a gorgeous woman, who couldn't understand or speak a word of English, was somehow extremely sexy. It's been years since I found someone sexy who didn't understand a word I was saying. (I didn't let on I could understand some of her German. That would have spoiled it)

So obviously whoever this gorgeous, but English speaking woman I'm supposed to be meeting up with at the library the following Tuesday, (after next Thursday), is not my ideal dream girl at all but an imposter. I'm shocked. Thank goodness I realized this now. I've saved myself a trip to the library and there's now no reason to shave my back hair.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm in a silly mood right now. Please don't infer from this entry that I find denture swapping or back hair sexy. I don't, but sign language can be kinda fun. I have very talkative fingertips don'tchya know.

Later gators.

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