Nurse Days

Monday, August 30, 1999

Whew! School is good so far, but I'm busier than I thought I'd be.

Last week Laurelei Pool, one of our nursing instructors, handed us a questionnaire to fill out. It only has eight questions on it, but they're tough ones! Here's what I wrote.

1. How do I perceive myself?
I see myself as being intelligent, funny, honest, independent, compassionate, empathetic, trustworthy, dependable, inquisitive, and a bit of a perfectioninst when it comes  to school and my chosen profession. I want to be the best I can possibly be, and I'm willing to put in the time and effort to achieve my goal.

2. Who am I?
I am Shannon Chapel! I have a strong faith in God, I have firm religious and political views, and I try to live what I believe. I am a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a sister-in-law, a nursing student and a friend.

3. What makes me the way I am?
The way I was raised has influenced me more than anything else in my life. I had a very strict Christian upbringing. I attended Christian schools before I was home schooled (also Christian material), and I was taught very old-fashioned Christian values. I have experienced many painful, difficult things, and ALL of them have added to who I am today, just as all of them have made me stronger.

4. How do others see me?
The people who know me best see me as intelligent, head-strong, opinionated, honest, caring and funny, but not necessarily in that order. All the people that I choose to surround myself with know me, love me, and accept me as I am. I refuse to surround myself with negative people. I like those who give me a boost as opposed to those who tear me down, and I try to return the favor when I can or when they need me to.

5. Do I respect myself and like myself as I am?
ABSOLUTELY! I'm one of my own best friends! If you don't like yourself then you're no good for yourself, so how can you possibly be any good or of any help to others?

6. Are there ways I need to change in order to achieve my desired self-image?
Yes. Sometimes I am too compassionate and take the feelings of others into consideration too much to the point that I get hurt. If there was one thing I could change about myself it would be that I were more assertive when people attampt to bully or belittle me. I would rather "turn the other cheek" than "make waves."

7. What are my goals for self-improvement?
I have begun the long, HARD process of working on my assertiveness. I'm much better at it than I used to be, but I still have a long way to go. As I said before, I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I long to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, student, and friend. And I don't just want to be "a nurse"...I want to be the best damn nurse I can possibly be! I want to be the one people talk about when they say, "I had an excellent nurse once. Her name was Shannon...."

8. What does all this have to do with my professional practice?
How you see yourself makes all the difference when you deal with others. If you have low self-esteem and see yourself as unworthy, then others will see you that way, too. They will think, Well, she doesn't like or believe in herself, so why should I? No one wants a nurse they don't like or trust. I've had many nurses I couldn't stand, and very few that I respected and admired. The world has enough "bad" nurses...what we need is a few more good ones.

Every time I walk into a room I think This is someone's mother, father, sister, brother. I put myself in the family's shoes and imagine what kind of care I would expect if this were a loved one of mine, and I conduct myself accordingly.

So the answer to the question "What does all this have to do with my professional practice?" is...EVERYTHING!

When I get intimidated, scared, or feel that I won't be able to accomplish something, I think of a saying I read once:

"If you're completely comfortable with something you're about to do then you're just repeating yourself. A little fear means you're doing something worthwhile...you're stretching...you're going outside your immediate grasp." ~Yanni