Random babbles

Caution

I have been feeling a bit under the weather over the last few days,spending hours upon hours trying to sleep it off, and on the times that I did feel up to doing anything I opted for a little social interaction rather than buddying up the keyboard for further isolation. This explains the lack of my entries into this blog.
Upon the inception of the idea of this blog, I was excited, I believed this was going to be my own little thing, here waiting for me ready to take my thoughts and ideas when I felt like inputing them. Kind of like a friends with benefits thing, there for me when I want it to be and not nagging when im too busy. hahaha. I now understand this is not the case. I originally logged on just to see if I had any comments not sure if I was going to make an entry. Then I saw my inbox which held about 15 "reminders to update" . This made me feel kind of bad for the lack of attention I had provided my blog. On top of the fact that my mother, who helped me create this blog, has given me daily " reminders to update".
So this blog has become a nagging girlfriend and furthermore my mom likes her. I didnt know what I was getting into.Anyways I had other things to write about so I will.
I have always been somewhat of a wild child. Always the one to throw caution to the wind and just go for whatever. Never one to stop and second guess my decision. I always felt that being cautious was only a way to miss out on the fun and interesting things.Not that being cautious is bad and to those who choose to be far sighted ...more power to you. Over the years my lack of caution has provided me with many interesting stories/scars/lifelong memories. Also many near death incidents and other incidents that I am not so proud to speak of. None the less my life has been rather exciting and enjoyable.
Moving on, I was driving,riding rather, to work the other day. I was late so of course I was forced to speed, traveling well over one hundred miles per hour a thought occurred to me, " if I wreck, then I wont be worrying about being late,work wont even be an issue because I wont be able to work" along with this thought I was overcome with a totally foreign and completely unfamiliar feeling.  so I slowed down and arrived to work late. More importantly I arrived to work alive and well.
Later in the day, I had borrowed my mothers car due to the fact that my car, unfortunately, is out of commission and it was supposed to rain which doesnt mix well with motorcycles. I was on my way to a class which,once again, I was late to. So of course I was forced to speed yet again. While cruising down the road breaking the law I again was overcome with this foreign and unfamiliar feeling and a thought passing through my head that went something like this " I dont want to get pulled over and get a ticket, or even worse wreck my moms car". So I slowed down and eventually arrived at my class....late. But I was alive and free of tickets.
As I sat through class daydreaming as usual,attempting to pass the time I was going back through my day and the two instances of my speeding and not speeding crossed my mind, both of which brought on that foreign and unfamiliar feeling. upon further investigation and scrutiny I first realized that in both situations not one mention was made about my tardiness and everything proceeded as planned I then realized that feeling I had experienced was caution. As soon as the thought of me practicing caution occurred to me it was like a carnival exploded into my head. Bright lights flashing everywhere, loud sing song music blasting through the air,little midgets dressed as clowns in bright colors with large shoes running circles in my head, holding up signs that read " your getting old, your cautious"
In reality it wasnt that I was getting old or that practicing caution was bad  or a sign of age. The fact is I realized that caution for a long while has been something I lacked, something that is indeed a valuable trait for any person. It never was the case that I was unable to posses or to dumb to understand the need for caution. Simply put I was stuck in the common  belief that "lacking caution" or as more people refer to it as being crazy was a way to express your masculinity. To show how rough and tough you are, because as we all know that impresses everyone.
The point is that in life its not how hard and fast or crazy and caution-less you can be, its not about what you might miss out on or the impression you try to give off. What it is about is the things you dont miss out on and the impressions you dont mean to give off. So take a chance to sit back relax and appreciate everything you do have and quit hustling so hard to get somewhere or get something you dont have. Take life at your own pace and live to impress yourself not others.