Shadow Puppet Storyteller

Corporate Cog

I've about had it with "short" meetings at work in which all the talk resolves no issue solidly. Such lovefests, fishing for best practices just pull me away from my desk for an hour or more. And then, "Suck it up," is not quite the response I was thinking would be at the forefront of the group discussion after I'd privately told my supervisor that the week's workload had me overwhelmed. Well, it wasn't that cut and dry, in truth. One person expressed it, and after I got slightly emotional, the back up was to support how much crap others before me had gone through. Sorry, I am not interchangeable with others that have somehow endured under similar pressures.

But am I unsuited for the job, or after several successive changes in the past six months, am I just in a state of confusion? I've worried that this mirrors the performance slump that once got me fired when I worked a job with a mounting caseload. The thing I realize now that I didn't notice then, is that I do the right thing. And I catch things others disregard. Whether it's beneficial to me or not, what I notice the most is that I get procedural in a fixed kind of way. I'm not old, but it's harder to keep things straight in a mind crammed full of so much information. I guess that part of my difficulty is that I get good at streamlining tasks, and then the company up and moves the whole department!

And that's what my week's been like, trying to be responsive, when I'm outwardly suffering, and lost in my own surroundings.