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My diary! Simple as that, really. :) |
Heya! Oh dear, it's been a funny few days. On Thursday it was the year's anniversary of my dad's death. During the day I was occupied, so I was fine; keeping busy stops you feeling, I think. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not, to be honest. But then night came, and I was a sobbing mess, just lying in bed crying for Dad, Javert* (who dumped me...in some ways, I still love him; I wish I could be angry with him...), the Angel Sisters* (2 of my best friends who're moving soon) and everyone else who's leaving me for university or gap years in Africa...That's the trouble with being "mature" - the majority of my friends will be gone by next year. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate that I still have amazing individual friends, who I adore. And I am so grateful for them. But the only group I've ever fitted into since I was about 10 is going off to experience the world, except me. And I'm so desperate to. School is just plain frustrating!!! Because I know what I want to do so clearly (singing...*wub*) and school is teaching me, I feel like my time there is being spent on irrelevant things. Except, of course, if /when singing doesn't work out, it will all become appallingly relevant, and I will be horribly depressed. So, all in all, school and the prospect of it tomorrow is not an uplifting business. On that note, I should stop enjoying myself and write an essay about Nazi economy...ergh!!!! More, hopefully more interesting and less of a babbling rant, soon :) Hope everyone has a great day, xxxxxxxxxxxx |