90 days of unselfishly loving my wife

Day 1 sailed smoothly

Details on day 1.  I would like to make it known that although this is a serious subject matter, I prefer to write about it in a hopefully humorous way and not take myself too seriously.  I try to be romantic, will attempt to write poetry to my wife, and would love to act always with integrity but it does not always turn out properly.  On a scale of 1 to 10 in the romantic department, I would give myself a 6.5 (glass is always half full).  I just paused, went downstairs, and randomly asked my wife for her ranking ("probably" more accurate than mine - is there a way to write the word probably so that it drips with sarcasm).  She gave me a 6.5 (did not know we lived on the same wavelength) saying that it is an overall rating of our 17 years of marriage while stating I am above average but have room for improvement.  Now I am thinking my rating was probably bumped up due to the poem I wrote her yesterday on day one of my quest.  It had been awhile since I had written her a poem and I am not quite sure mine qualifies as I went with rhyming the first two lines and then the fourth - so here it is:


A new day:

Tonight, tonight, it is just you and me
not an evening for a soliliquy
it is my honor to whisk you away
to spend time together, children free

To show you His love is my desire
for you to know His unquenchable fire
without His help, I would fail
I will press on and never tire

Sometimes you feel you are too hard
Like no one is allowed in your yard
it is time to trust and to know
your heart, I will always keep and guard

You can, you know, live life on a whim
to have the love you have always imagined
My God, my example,  He is love
I'll always strive to be just like Him

The beginning of the poem was actually asking her out on a date.  We dropped off our daughter at a special service to sing and then went out to eat, got a little dessert at Cinnabon, and then talked for a couple of hours.  She loves quality time so her love language was spoken to.  We have no worries in the future when the kids are grown up and gone.  Despite being opposites, we get along great when we are alone.  Our problem is having enough time by ourselves.  This will have to be a priority for me.

My only selfish act of the day (toward my spouse, hey I am sure I did something else selfish) was not a big one but I will give you the lowdown so as not to look like I played the write a poem take her out to eat card on the first day - oh yeah, I did play that card :)  Well, the wife was home working on the computer so I decided to ask how I could help her - a good idea.  Then I paused and let her know all the things I was currently doing that would be a help to her.  I then realized I mentioned those things because I wanted her answer to be to continue what I was working on.  I had sneakily asked how I could help while easing my way out of helping and this is after thinking how could I show her love. (oh, the irony)  It happened so easily and quickly I would not have noticed if I was not on my love quest.  She actually needed my help so my first instinct was - I will take care of that for you and THEN I remembered something about my wife.  OK, I admit, it is one of her pet peeves but I did remember it and most men may not know this or more to the point may know it but do not apply it in their lives.  She does not want me to just take something over and do it.  She would much prefer that when I offer to help her, to actually help her - meaning do the task together.  Just taking it over and doing it could make her feel useless or incapable.  She could handle it, but it would go much smoother if we tackled the problem together.  After all, we are "one-flesh" (biblical term for marriage and oh so true and not just on the physical level) now that we are married.  So, I made it through the first day without any problems.  What, did I think showering love on my wife would make her respond to me with venom?  Of course not.  But to put her feelings before mine every day for ninety days!  Does not sound or seem like it will continue to go this smoothly.  I just had a great idea.  If married or dating, you should read this together - everyone needs a little quality time with their luv.