Down the Rabbit Hole

Back to Black

Today's weather is improving considering this morning the earth smelled like an aquarium. I'm back to work following my amazing wedding and subsquently amazing honeymoon. I'm picking my way through the backlog and marveling at how natural this marriage things feels most of the time. Of course, there are those moments when my wedded bliss is puncuated by feelings of...unease. I chalk it up to the difficulty of adjusting back to a life where everything is shared and equal. The past is hard to shake sometimes and my former marriage was not a symbiotic partnership by any stretch of the imagination. I am feeling very happy though, at peace for the first time in a very very long time. Like I recently wrote, I knew when the doors opened and my father threaded his arm through mine and we began the long aisle walk, that it was the right choice. He was the right guy. Its nice to feel my former life melting away around me, like I finally get to shed some skin and reap profit from the labors of love. I'm also eager to see how my new outlook will affect my writing. So much of what I've produced has been under a burden of guilt and distress...I wonder if I will find myself more or less productive? I wonder if my writing will have the same depth, rancor, bite and warmth?