The Envelope

Chapter 4

         Mary sat on her bed with her head being held by one of her hands. In the other hand she held the letter that John had left for her yesterday morning with her dad. A set of his dog tags that had been in the envelope sat next to her on her nightstand. For about the tenth time since last night she stared at the handwritten letter. By now she almost had the whole thing memorized, but it was difficult for her to tear her eyes away from it.
         Slowly, she put the letter down on her nightstand and walked over to her window overlooking the back yard. Looking out of the window she saw her dad playing catch with her sweet younger brother. It was another beautiful day outside. The sun was shining, and it wasn't hot, but it wasn't cold either and there was a slight breeze blowing. It was one of those rare perfect days in Minnesota where everyone was comfortable with the weather. She turned again to the nightstand and picked up the dog tags and moved them between her fingers. Looking down at them again, she saw his name, blood type, social security number and his religion. In the years that she saw him after he joined the Army, he was almost never without his tags. More than once he told her that they were a now a part of, a part of his identity. To John, they were a constant reminder of why he joined the Army. Once again she lay down on her bed, picked up the letter and began to read it.

         Dear Mary,
         It's difficult to begin this letter, especially since I don't know how to begin. I've never really been good at these kind of things. I guess I can start out with why I'm writing to you, huh? Well, I got my orders to deploy to Iraq. I'm leaving tomorrow from the Minneapolis airport at about 1:00pm. I'm not sure where exactly I'll be stationed, but the current rumor is on the Southeastern Iraq-Iran border. Apparently Iran has been pushing supplies through there and we're on our way to plug it up.
         When I first got my orders a few months ago I felt both excited and scared. I'm excited that I get to go do my job, and protect these people. While at the same time I'm scared because there is a chance that I may not come back. This made me realize something. That if I did get killed overseas, that I wouldn't get to tell anyone what I wanted to tell them. It would also mean that I wouldn't get to see any of my friends or family again until they joined me up in heaven.The first person that I thought of was you when I realized this.
         I know this is something you probably didn't want to hear, but I have to say it because I may never have another chance. I love you, I really do. I still remember the first day that I saw you several years ago. Well, there it is out in the open between us. I'm sorry for telling you this way, but I really couldn't do it face to face. I didn't have the courage. It's weird, but the first time that I actually knew I loved you was when I was in Basic Training. There were three thoughts that kept me going when it got really tough. God, my family and you. Seeing your face during tough events got me through them and onto the next task.
         I don't know what my address will be yet. But, if you'll allow me, I would like to send a letter back here to you every once in a while. I would be blessed if you could write back to me every once in a while. Alright, I'm going to end here, as I've already made a fool of myself in my ramblings here. I hope that you'll think of fond memories of me while I'm gone, and I will hopefully see you when I get home in a year. I gave you my tags so that you might have something to remember me by.
                                                                     Love,
                                                                     John Polsk