Too purty to live in town.....

6/25/08

FRIENDS VS SOUTHERN FRIENDS


FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.

FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs..
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave..
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together..

FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' back-ends who left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, 'I'm home!'

FRIENDS: will visit you in jail
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: will spend the night in jail with you

FRIENDS: will visit you in the hospital when you're sick
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: will cut your grass and clean your house then come spend the night with you in the hospital

FRIENDS: have you on speed dial
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: have your number memorized

FRIENDS: Are for a while.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Might ignore this.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will forward this to all their Southern Friends

Which one are you?
+++++++++++++++++++

Jimbo & Bubba

Two rednecks, Jimbo and Bubba, are sitting at their favorite bar,
drinking beer. Jimbo turns to Bubba and says, 'You know, I'm tired of
going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to
the Community College and sign up for some classes.'
Bubba thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jimbo goes down to the college and meets Dean of
Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English,
History, and Logic.

'Logic? Jimbo says.. 'What's that?'

The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'

'Yeah.'

'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you
would have a yard.'

'That's true, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard,
I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Yes, I do have a house.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a
family.'

'Yes, I have a family.'

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must
have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must
be a heterosexual.'

'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of
that because I have a weed eater.'

Excited to take the class now, Jimbo shakes the Dean's hand and leaves
to go meet Bubba at the bar. He tells Bubba about his classes, how he
is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic? Bubba says, 'What's that?'

Jimbo says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'

'No.'

'Then you're a queer.'