Complex Numbers

Fanfiction

Having been on Writing.com for almost four years now - and a moderator for two of those years - I think it's safe to say I've seen a broad cross-section of what kind of stuff gets posted here.

But there's one thing I tend to avoid. Not because it's never done well, but because when it is NOT done well, the results are therapy-inducing.

And I will admit, I wrote one piece of fanfiction myself. I'm giving you the link not because I feel like it's great literary work, or because I think I know how it's done better than anyone else, but so anyone offended by this blog entry can go leave me a nasty review.

It is:

Home Again  [13+] #1192516 A middle-aged man rediscovers his childhood. by Robert Waltz

But notice: there is no sex in it. It seems that a lot of authors of fanfiction just have to put sex into it. In fact, that would be the REASON for much of the fanfiction universe. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but there are some sex scenes I just never wanted to see. Kirk getting it on with Spock, for example. Harry Potter getting it on with anyone before he turns 18. Mary Poppins doing it with anyone, at any time.

So why did I actually READ this article here?:

http://www.cracked.com/article_16554_5-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfi...

The 5 Most Baffling Sex Scenes in the History of Fanfiction
When traveling in the vast, anonymous, lawless expanse known as the Internet, it's a given that you're going to run into some weird shit. Maybe none of it is weirder than the world of erotic fanfiction.

Because I just... couldn't... help myself.

I mean...

Ew.

And there's TWO Harry Potter-related slashies in there.

Two.

And not ONE of the five stories are hosted on writing.com.

Come on, guys - you're slipping.

Now that I think about it, the truly fucked-up thing here is that someone bothered to READ all this fanfic, SUMMARIZE them, and put them in a blog while pretending to be horrified.

Um... yeah.