My Saga with Leukemia

Depression Descends

The 2+ hour ride to the hospital in Marshfield, WI was much like a pleasant ride on any sunny day...until we exited the freeway and I could visually see the huge hospital just off to the left of me.

I said very little, trying to just cope with the knowledge that we had arrived at what would be my new "home" for the next month. Jason, Char and the little ones had arrived just behind us, and together we all walked through the front door and were escorted to an office marked "Admissions."

While every fiber of my inner being was screaming "NO!", I remained silent and sullen. Bill answered all the typical admitting questions that were asked, and then we were off to my room.

Patients like me, severely at risk because of an extreme lack of oxygen and completely lacking in the blood cells which fight infection, were kept in one of the four sterile 12 x 12 rooms. I quickly surveyed my room: bathroom, night stand, hospital bed, rolling table for meals, a few chairs for visitors and, directly facing my bed...a wall-mounted television.

Thankfully, there was a huge picture window on the far wall, allowing me to feel less closed in than I already did. I couldn't help but note, however, that the view from the big window was less than heartening...it was the cemetery!