I'm Studying You

Welcome Back, Stoggers!

Hello and what is UP? It's Thursday in a place I haven't been to in some time called The Library, and a great one to you all. This is my first extended visit to 542 in quite a few days and I miss my Studyees so much due to my phone and Jess' internet being down, and I have a lot of emails to get to, but first let's recap the almost-week, shall we?

No, we haven't eloped. Yet. But on the real, I have never met someone like me in so many ways... someone so loving, caring, easygoing, fun, and many more adjectives that could be used in describing J and/or myself. This relationship, for lack of a better term, works. And she knows it too. She knows. I can see it in the way she looks at me and in the way we compliment and complement each other. Ladies and Gentlemen of Studyee Nation, your B here is all growed up and stuff.

There are reasons I try to avoid the adult-sleepover concept with members of the opposite sex that happen to own felines (beyond allergy concerns); cats hog the friggin' bed. But I'm over it. Over it to the tune of well, if the cat wants my side of the bed, guess that means I spend more time on hers.

Studyees, what has come over me? I help her around the house, offer to do things, take pressure off her, kick the best cook I've ever dated out of her own kitchen so she can either relax or get caught up on other chores so she we can eat at a decent hour, all so we can do what we swore we wouldn't do between Sunday and Thursday nights when the kids are home...frantically interlock embraces at all hours of the day and night. I put it on you, my Library faithful...this feels very normal to me, but yet it's nothing I've ever really felt before. More on that later, but I'd like to hear your take at The Drop-Off Box below.

The kids? Alex, the 13-year-old self-proclaimed "man, because I have hormones now that I've turned 13", thinks I'm cool and while he can be a bit of a handfull, ultimately approves of me because I'm "a big kid". Josh, her 15-year-old, has his concerns, is a bit protective and thinks his mom shouldn't be dating again so fast, but she explained to him that he didn't really know that we had known each other longer than he thought and that things are going to be good. I'm attentive to him and his needs but I'll have to work just as hard to win him over before everything seems ok to him.

And Jess? After hanging out with her boss/best friend on Saturday we went back to her place and got ready for bed. Her b/bf approves of me hands down and told me so. Diesel points right there, Stoggers. We're laying there, talking, and I finally found the convo spinning in that direction. You know, that direction. The true "L"-bomb direction. So I said those three little words...

She cried.

Studyees, are you kidding me? She cried.

She said it back and offered, "I've never loved or been in love before." Ladies and Gentlemen of The Library, your CWC.

Eventually we got to sleep around daylight and by 2pm I was cooking her breakfast. But it's hard to eat with someone else's tounge in your mouth.

What else?
Met her brother, a really chill military dude who's headin' back overseas but won't know where til he gets there.

As she was hustling to get to work, Alex, who usually rides his bike to school, realized he didn't have the key to his lock. I had just lit a smoke and turned on SportsCenter when I saw him peddling up the driveway. Ditched the smoke, grabbed my coat, watched him trip up the stairs to tell J that he needed a ride and I told her I was already on it. That made her morning way more easier.

Stoggers, this mofo has no clue how to load a dishwasher. Same day; I take her to work then stop at 542 to pick up some laundry to do at her place. In between loads, I made a few phone calls and cleaned up the kitchen. I figure, the more I can do for her around the place, the more quality time we have later on. This should be at the head of "The Man Laws". And that's where men go blind, Studyees...help a busy girlfriend out with the shit you can't be bothered to do at your own place, and you will be laying beside, atop, behind, whichever the preference, at the end of the night.

All in all, it boils down to last night and tonight. Without dropping too many details, my girl had been experiencing some physical "female problems" lately unrelated to that time of the month (and I should start keeping track, because she said that would make me a very lucky man ). Come to find out that, well, the best way to put it is a future pregnancy is possible but would be difficult. She disappeared into the darkness and I couldn't find her save for the cherry on her cigarette. After making her feel better and letting her talk about her prior health conditions, we went back upstairs and talked somemore. She told me everything about me coming to see her months and months ago, how I made her flustered and if I'd ever talk to her more. I reiterated what you Studyees have already been through with me. We fell back asleep with her telling me "I'm falling in love with you all over again". I countered with "I haven't stopped falling in love with you yet".

Wake up and for the first time in her bed, I got some decent sleep. Sure there was some tossing and turning, but it no longer felt like a stranger's bed. But I ended up oversleeping when she ran errands, and gave me some, ummm, ahhh, what-for on the phone when she called and I said I wasn't ready yet. So I put down my sandwich, hopped in the shower, got ready and finished off the errands with her. And promptly moved a new toothbrush and stick of deodorant into her upstairs bathroom. Her reply, after her joking around? "I know now I can't say I've never been loved or been in love before. This is a first. "

If you're still reading this and wondering what she looks like, I'm working on getting a pic. But this is my take: She's 5'2"-3" and looks like a cross between Phoebe on "Friends" and Elliot on "Scrubs", with the best of both personalities combined. Add in the fact that she's practical, quirky (it's almost eerie how similarly quirky we both are) and responsible, and dammit Stoggers, you will love her as much as you love me. As much as I love you, and as much as she loves me.

Besides, who doesn't love a girl who, when you pull off to the side of a supermarket just to get a newspaper and the ATM, texts you while you're inside just to tell you how sexy you are, and then verbally and physically backs it up once you get into the car? Hmmm?

So again Studyees, many apologies for the absence, but I'm sure you understand. There's so much more to be said, but I do have to keep some secrets.

One last take before I go, since I don't know when I'll be back. And this is on a much more serious tip Stoggers. Not that everything isn't serious, but you'll get my drift or peace yourselves out. Seriously.

This entry is dedicated to an old friend of mine that I hadn't seen in at least three years. There was a horriffic accident this past weekend on the 290 in which a vehicle was travelling the wrong way and struck another vehicle. RIP Justin. Wish I had not blown off every chance to hang out. Wish I could've been more grateful everytime you asked my sis about me and how I was doin'. I'm not suprised you fuckin' J-bag, but I know you'd still be happy for me. I'm sorry J-dog. I'm sorry.

Please, Studyees, look out for each other. The first time you get to introduce a new girlfriend to people you haven't seen in awhile shouldn't be a funeral. Fuck that. If you're drivin', don't drink, and if you're drinkin', don't drive.

I'll hold off til the wake/funeral to get completely bummed. Until then Studyees, stay true. I will eventually get to your emails and keep them coming. Staying vocal keeps this alive, even when I am suffering from love absentia. GOODNIGHT NOW!