Snow Melt

I’m Scaring myself again

Jamál (Beauty), 4 Ilm (Knowledge), 165 B.E. – Sunday, October 19, 2008 about 8:50 AM Pacific Time

There are times in a woman's life when she scares herself so badly, she wants to run naked from the house screaming. I'm not sure if this is one of those times or not, but I've scared myself again. This morning I realized that I'm dealing with some more of the same issues my mother has dealt with all her life.

Mom is afraid of doing something wrong. Lately, she has presumed she did something wrong when she didn't. In fact, she apologizes for doing something wrong. I try to assure her that she hasn't, but she doesn't seem to want to accept that. Mom keeps repeating that she did something wrong again in different situations or over and over with the same situation.

I've found myself thinking the same thing. I've found myself presuming I've did something wrong before the vote is even in. Of course, with me the thought is {c;red}I've screwed up again! I don't always screw up. Actually, I think its impossible to do everything wrong or to screw up all the time. Mom has dealt with the problem all her life and never resolved it. I'm going to have to resolve the problem in my own life or it's only going to get worse as I get older.