The Waiting Game

The Gauntlet/Disappointment

First I am going to start off with some fun before the rant begins. I was a bit excited after figuring out what exactly to write for the weekly quickie. So I went into chat, asked sciwriter1 if he'd seen the prompt, and he had to go bragging that he just might have to enter again so he could win. Well, since I am a regular entrant, I just had to toss in my two cents and before you know it, a challange was made. Now Sci and I are swapping barbs is chat about who's going to kick whose ass. Since we have til November first to post for this one, I know that everyday we will be going at it, driving everyone else crazy. Welcome to chat paradise. LOL.

Ok, I admit that I am emotional, no big secret there. And I wasn't going to vent here, because most of my family reads my blog. But damn it, I'm really pissed, and since this is MY blog, then I have the right to say whatever the hell I feel like. If you don't want to read me complaining about you, don't read on. This is your chance to walk away and continue to pretend that things are a-ok.

The list of blood relatives in my family is dwindling. Sad, but true. I have been fortunate to go to Lebanon and see what real family is all about. You're sick, they are at your doorstep doing whatever they can. They drop by unannounced daily, for chit chat, a few laughs and more coffee than should be legal. When I had my stomach scoped, they were all there waiting to make sure things went fine, getting me food and making sure I drank enough fluids. So when I come out of the anesthesia after my surgery last week, I was happy to find R, my mom and sister waiting in my room. Felt like the family was going to rally around me and things would be fine. I was a bit disappointed that the boys weren't there, but since I was whacked out on drugs, and vomiting, it's better they didn't see their mother that way. Blood relatives wise, I have a sister and an uncle. I do have a step-dad and two step-brothers. One is married the other engaged. Now, I really don't mean to come off as a bitch, but damn it, I'm pissed. Pissed enough to sit down and complain, and not care what happens when you all get wind of my feelings.

Afterall, they are just that, MY FEELINGS. Now when my uncle had his roll over accident, who stepped up, drove out to BFE everyday so someone was there? ME. Where did he go after his release to recoup? My house. Do you think that inconsiderate ass could at least pick up the phone and give me his best sarcastic, "Glad you're alive". Hell no. Apparently, I don't rate. My sister called me in the hospital, but once released I called her. She said she'd call me back when we last spoke on Thursday, but I'm still waiting. I thought for sure she'd pop in on Sunday, but haircuts were more important. I have a convo with my SIL on yahoo messenger, and a few texts with the brother from another mother. The other bfam did call my cell, which was dead in the hospital and left a message. I returned the call to his finacee, and we chatted Thursday nite. Had a quick visit from the Dad before he headed up north.

My mother has been the only one to come around. She cleaned, picked the kids up from school, helped me in and out of the shower. And let me tell you, having her see me naked was not a highlight for me. She went back to work today, and called on her lunch. I'm much better physically, but honestly, emotionally is another story entirely. I even cried today, stupid of me I know, but hey, I'm an emotional kind of girl.

I just want you all to remember all I've done for you over the years. Because at this moment, I really don't feel up to being the one who goes the extra mile anymore. I'm done.

I got more love, more well wishes, more concern on WDC, than I got from my own family. That really hurts. Sad but true. And sad I am.

Rant Over.

~~whatever