Off the Cuff / My Other Journal

More on Joe The plumber who isn’t a plumber

Following all the hullabaloo, we followed Joe the plumber--who is not really a plumber and whose name is not even Joe—and we got under his thinking cap, which he wore backwards. We know that this Joe thinks he would like to be a philosopher. All this unwarranted media attention has turned Joe into taking his life seriously, and for Joe, only philosophy can be serious enough.

Why philosophy? Why, Joe cannot tell, because all philosophers ask ‘why’ in the first place, and soon enough, they are forgotten. Still, Joe knows philosophy is the most serious thing on earth even if those incompetent philosophers are forgotten. Joe has learned philosophy from the political rallies. That is why he doesn’t like the question why.

‘Why’ doesn’t matter to a person to whom things keep happening out of the blue, like lightning hits, and Joe does not really want to question or answer any whys, in the first place. He only wants to be remembered as a philosopher. After all, isn’t he already more famous than Kant or Heidegger whose names even the high school teachers do not know?

Joe thinks: Surely, I will be dead one day like my other predecessors—say, Kant or Heidegger, the only philosopher names I came across somewhere, I can’t remember where. People will look back at my life, and they will say, “How the heck did he become so famous overnight? Was he the only citizen attending a political rally?” They will say I Joe, although my name is not Joe, represent the common man whose life turns around on freak occurrences.

No, I cannot have that. I can neither be a freak nor that common. I must devote my life to leaving the common man image behind me and hook on to greatness. Maybe I’ll say I am giving up all my material wealth—not that there is much of material wealth to give up, but what I have will do for the moment. Next, I can strip off my clothes and wander the streets in search of truth or a place to sleep.

Then, not appreciating the cold of the winter and knowing how I love my creature comforts, I can come back to my house without misplacing my pride, after I shout, ‘Eureka! I found the naked truth!’

And I am a philosopher...just like that!

I bet every camera in the nation will follow me around while I am in search of greatness. Sure beats being forgotten like those guys who keep asking why while calling themselves philosophers. Aren’t wisdom, free will, shame from being naked in public, and stuff like that overblown anyway? People like it only when you are talked about. They don’t care about who you really are and how deeply you are able to think.

What matters is being talked about. I enjoyed the cameras and the spotlight immensely. Wasn’t I the one who went from show to show, numbing the viewers’ brains to the emptiness of my situation?

I know I will be great. I will be a success with no soul, but I will be great.

Well, now that we know what Joe-who-isn’t-Joe is thinking, we will be watching for him under more intense spotlight and with the scrutiny of us the public, our newscasters, and our politicians alike.

Joe is an inspiration. He is as deep as our politicians can get and we can handle. Joe already is naked greatness.