Dreamland

I Killed Lobsterwoman's Husband

A friend of mine told me about this development on a lake a ways outside of town, they're selling lots where you can build your own vacation home. It's for active people who want to get away from it all, to enjoy the peace and quiet of nature. They have strict ordinances against noise, and they don't allow any cars or motorcycles on the property, just bicycles and golf carts. I call and make an appointment to go check it out.

I park my car in the lot outside the property entrance. To get into the development you have to climb down a tree that's growing alongside a cliff. I struggle a little bit, but finally get to the bottom. I'm met by a middle-aged black woman dressed in business attire, one of the development reps. "I'm Ann Bea, welcome to Lakeshore Estates."

I get in a golf cart with her, and we take a drive around the development. It's in it's early stages, most properties don't have any cottages on them, and only the road near the main office is paved, but it looks like a really nice location, and the lots are big.

We stop in the office and she hands me a map and some brochures that show the lot prices, and different types of homes the contractors can build for you. "Go ahead and take a walk around, see the lots for yourself, then you can come back here if you find a lot you are interested in and we can get your paperwork started."

I thank her and start to walk out the office door when she calls me back. "One last thing, you aren't prejudiced, are you? We get all types of people here, including off-worlders."

I'm not sure if she's being serious or just talking about California flake-types who think they've been abducted, so I reply "I'm open minded, I've seen lots of Star Trek episodes. As long as they're peaceful Aliens, I'm OK with them."

I walk out of the office and start exploring. I see a nice lot with a large rock with a view of the lake. I've always liked sitting on rocks to meditate, and this looks like a perfect one. I climb up and look for a place to sit. There's a pile of sticks and leaves in front of me, so I kick it over the edge of the cliff to get it out of my way.

All of a sudden I hear this chittering noise, and see this creature the size of a small dog that looks like a rock lobster covered with sticks and leaves rushing towards me from the cottage next door.

Ann Bea comes riding up in her golf cart and rushes over to the creature, speaking to it in it's own language. Then she approaches me and says "She told me you kicked her husband over the cliff, did you?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I thought it was just a bundle of sticks!"

I climb down the cliff and I can see that it was indeed another creature, somewhat smaller than her, that I kicked over the cliff. And he is broken from the fall, obviously dead.

Ann Bea consoles the lobsterwoman, and walks her back to her cottage. I stand outside next to her golf cart, not knowing what to do. Ann comes back out and we get in the cart and drive back to towards the office. "What's going to happen to me now, will I be arrested?"

"No, we follow the laws and customs of the offended party in these cases. Fortunately for you, the couple had already mated. The males only live a short time afterward, he was just trying to enjoy his last few days in the sun when you kicked him over the cliff. If you had killed him prior to their mating, she could have you put to death."

"So what is my punishment?"

"Their custom says you must speak on his behalf at the funeral, and you must show sincere sorrow for your actions. I will be your translator. If you make a good enough speech, nothing further will happen to you. However, if she detects any insincerity or lack of remorse, she will personally remove however many fingers she feels is proper from your hands with her claws as your punishment. If I were you I'd get busy writing that speech, while you still can write..."