Trina's Journal/Blog

Sometimes a Conversation can Lead to Self Growth

Days since Layoff: 2 months and 30 Days, exactly 2184 hours
Emotions: At this moment I feel uninhibited with the things I can do.
Daily Activities: Long awaited "Spring" cleaning. Pretty sure I did it in the Spring though.

I had a fabulous morning! I was just going to start my housecleaning of the kitchen and dining area when an old friend contacted me. It was one of those conversations where you are partaking in conversation but you're also taking a step back and thoughtfully listening to your responses for a better understanding towards personal development. It was completely spiritual and insightful. We are so in sync with each other and our perspective's in life.

Here are somethings that I learned through this 2 hour conversation:

I feel that I am a very non-judgmental person. Sometimes the activities I choose to do in my spare time raises some eyebrow, but I really don't care what they think. I realize that is the difference between living in a square box and living in no box.

I realize that in these activities, I do not over analyze who I'm hanging around with, why I am doing it, and whether its making me happy or not. My answers come naturally due to my free non-judgemental personality. If I like it, I keep it going. If I don't like it, then it's out of my life like a old sock with a hole in it. No second thought, no regrets.

I have realized that I am over analyzing my current situation in regards to career. People are not calling and that's a fact. A very sad fact, but that's just the way it is. My husband's overtime has been cut and that's a fact. Again, another sad fact. Things will work out whether the outcome is good or bad, it will work out for itself. The Power of Positive thinking may or not assist me with the outcome but that will not thwart me towards the negative way of thinking.

In actual fact, the past four to five months has been a journey for me. For example, I know there are specific times and people in my life where I am more "ME" than others. I've been trying to break out of this shell to be the person that I want to be, all the time. The conversation this morning was a cathartic experience as it made me realize that it isn't only unemployment situation that provoked this passion to write to you. It is my desire to speak out and be my true self. Something that writing in a journal, for my eyes only, couldn't fulfill. It doesn't bother me that some people read it, while other's don't. I greatly appreciate that I provoke some people to expand their thinking from my thoughts. I'm not really worried if other's see it as silly or mundane. Realistically, it's just me, training myself to be the person I want to be 24/7.

I have noticed that my communication skills have improved. It takes me less time to think and vocalize my responses. In business, this has always been my greatest faux pas. I was constantly thinking of a great idea or suggestion after the fact.

I have also noticed that I have a lust for words. Not so much large sentences filled with highly intelligent words where most of the public goes "huh?", but just words that completely explain me and the world that I choose to be in.

As insightful as this conversation was for me, it also included a little idle chit chat where we agreed that when a woman finds themselves in hard times, there's nothing like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte to cheer you up for a 1/2 hour. Most of all, there's nothing like having friends that resemble these people in their own distinct way.

So off I go to finish my kitchen. I've managed to get the walls done, while thinking and writing randomly throughout the day. Now...the dreaded cupboards.
TTYL
T