Lani's Blog

You Want Fries With That? A Review

This is what I've been reading the last few days. And I have to say that it is laugh out loud funny. It’s about a man who sick of the advertising game decides to give it up and tries to down-size himself. You know, how stressful can it be to be the Pizza delivery man, the Ice Cream scoop man, work construction or herd cattle? Well Mr. Prioleau Alexander tells us with funny and insightful stories.





Be warned. The author of the book is "a former Marine officer, conservative-libertarian, religious gun nut wacko with anarchist leaning.” This is quoting the book jacket. His wife and 3 dogs are okay with it and so am I because some of those leanings are mine. And because he tells an entertaining story.





I especially appreciate the ER stories. Alexander went through orientation to be an ER tech in a major downtown hospital. He had a friend who is a doctor in this ER. This friend lets Alexander shadow him until he "runs screaming for the door." 





Alexander writes about the drug seeker, the weak & dizzy ('they have a pesky habit of dying if you're not careful"), and the Dog Maul guy ("I 'm a landscaper Doc. Can I go back to work tomorrow?"). The Better Checker. Someone who does something to themselves, and decide that they had better get it checked out. No pain. No Problem but they want to be checked out and complimented on their decision to come in. Now I've been guilty of this a time or two. As a nurse I can think of worse case scenarios so it’s hard for me to make a decision sometimes. Better safe than sorry. However the one time, I didn't do this, I was wrong. Of course. I fell and twisted my wrist. No problem. I had leftover pain pills from a past surgery. Take them and baby it with some ice. No ER visit for me, thank you. Three days later, out of pain pills and guess who has a broken wrist?





What finally made Alexander run screaming for the door, is a story you have to read to believe, but I think most nurses, techs and docs will chuckle.





Things I learned reading this book:





1. Its harder than you think to be hired by the big box stores; Wal-Mart, K-Mart etc. That my retirement dream of being a Wal-Mart greeter may not be the best idea.





2. Always tip the Pizza guy at least $5.00 and make sure he can see the house numbers.





3. ERs are for emergencies. Get reassurance from hubby or dog. But recognize a real emergency. (I thought I knew this, but it’s good to be reminded)





4. Never change my order once it’s given to the burger flipper. Parting the Red Sea is easier.





5. Stay out of Ice Cream shops. At least at my present weight. "Judgment is mine," saith the soda jerk.





6. When my sister said she needed to stay at the job site of the house that they were building to watch the crew, she wasn't kidding.





7. I'd rather not get close enough to cows to have rope or herd them. The romance of the west is now gone.





For a long time, my dream, when my job gets overwhelming, is to open a little bookstore with a coffee shop. Sort of a combo Starbucks and Barn & Noble but on a smaller scale. After reading this book, maybe I'll change that dream. Sandy beaches, drinks with little umbrellas and cabana boys with tanned skin sound good.  And no customers or patients just surf and sand......