Lani's Blog

What I Would Say to Younger Self

Write an interaction between yourself now and yourself at a younger age . It can be holiday related if you wish and use dialogu or not.





I would find my find 6 yr old self in the middle of the night staring at a night light afraid of the dark.  Scooping her up into a hug, I would tell her that everything is going to to be alright. I would show her how wonderful her life is going to be when she is older. I would tell her to tell her first grade teacher about what happens at night and why she is afraid of the dark.





I would find my 10 yr old self lost in Nancy Drew, Andre Norton and Asimov. I would take the book from her. I would tell her why hiding in stories not only deadens the pain, but her soul as well. I would show her why her feelings are so raw. I would tell her to tell her teacher about raw feelings.





I would find my 15 yr old self hiding in her room journaling and writing poetry. I would tell her not to burn the notebooks, because I want them now. I would tell her that the abuse really is over, but the the effects are long lasting.


I would tell her bitterness is a choice. Choose wisely. And tell the high school counselor about why your poetry is so dark.





I would find my 20 yr old self on the verge of adulthood. I would tell her not to be afraid to make mistakes. Not everyone is out to hurt you. Some men actually like women. The world is a bigger place than you can imagine. Go experience it. And find a counselor to talk to about the past.





I would find my 27 yr old self in church - a new wide eyed Christian. I would tell her to not be afraid to follow God's voice. And not to worry how other Christians view your walk. Legalism is for lawyers. I would tell her to let God lead her to healing past hurts.





I would find my 31 yr old self in 12 step meetings, popping antidepressants. I would tell her that confronting people who hurt you is always hard. Guilt is not part of God's plan. Unforgiveness and bitterness kill your spirit.


Let God in to heal.








I would find my 43 yr old self waiting for hubby to come home from his first overseas trip. I would tell her commitent is unchangeable, but people are not. She is not the same person that entered the marriage and neither is he. The trick is to grow together. And grow with God.





Wisdom is a bitch. By the time you get it no one wants it from you and it's too late for you.