I'm Studying You

It's only a scratch...

I should be enjoying life right now.

I will blame impending changes, lack of sleep, cold weather and unexpected text messages having to deal with something maybe I'm not ready for. And my back is aching more than... well, today has been too much to be funny, and I spent all my metaphors on J during a good talk after work.

I had a huge panic attack today. I lost function of my right to think rationally for a good chunk of the day.

I haven't felt that way in a long, long time. I scared the shit out of myself.

I made it to work. Barely. And late. With J's help. Thinking it all could be theraputic. The woman is a saint for dealing with me.

I don't do this cold. Usually when I freak out it is in the summer, and in the throes of influence.

More details when they come to me. I still can't put a thought together.

I'm scared, but having dealt with this before is a calming influence.

I have had way too much to think the last few days. I'm not used to that.

Stay well people. Don't worry about me. It is NOT just a guy thing. It is solely a me thing, and surely everyone gets panicy to the point of near destruction, right? I mean, yeah...yeah. Yeah. Or something.

Sometimes creativity breeds from self-destruction. Sometimes the opposite. I do not feel well.