Pearls of Wisdom and Foolish Mutterings

Laurel and Hardy at the altar

This must be the day for weird things. I just read Nada 's blog about the avocado bomb hitting her house. And that was just as I was getting all geared up to write about what happened to me in church this morning. Well, mine wasn't so much weird as it was funny - not so much for me, but for everyone who was watching.

At the end of the sermon, the pastor gave an altar call and I went up front to the altar and knelt down on the floor (it was crowded up there - must have been a rough week for everybody!) I was kneeling there with my head bowed and my eyes closed and you know how when someone is standing really close to you, you can feel it even if you don't see it? Well, I sensed that someone was very close to me, so I opened my eyes a bit and sure enough, there was some standing fight in front of me. Very close to me. So I was keeping an eye on them, you know, peeking every so often to make sure they didn't fall over me or step on me. I don't know why I didn't just move, but I didn't.

Anyway, sure enough, there I was with my eyes closed, kneeling quietly and the person who was standing in front of me stepped back. I felt her foot brush my knee, so my eyes popped open and I reflexively looked up. Problem was that I reflexively looked up just as she shot her arm out to balance herself and she poked me in the eye. OUCH! I bowed my head down to protect my eyes from further mauling, but she was apparently still off balance. Next thing I knew, she had planted her hand on top of my head and was still trying to balance herself. All I could think about was how she was messing up my hair and it had been such a good hair day. So much for that.

Finally, she caught her balance and walked away, leaving me nearly blind in one eye and the hair on the top of my head good and tousled. Then, all I could think about was how many people in the congregation witnessed what just happened and were, at that very moment, sitting there about to split a gut from holding their laughter in. And the sermon was about unforgiveness so I couldn't even hold a decent grudge against the woman who had just come close to cage-wrestling me at the altar.

Well, that's my story for today. I'm sure I have more to say, but that's I've got for the moment. Now, it's your turn. Come on, people, I've given you great fodder for comments here. Show me some love - comment me! See, ShellySunshine , I'm not too proud to beg.