Amygdalia's Blog

Tired, sad, lonely

I'm just not in a good place right now.  I know it's my own damn fault . . . if I were just able to make myself do the things I KNOW I need to do, it'd turn right around for me.  I'm stuck.  Take the damn Omegas every day.  You know they make a difference.  Don't sit in the house.  You know it's bad for you.  Go to the fitness center.  You know you feel better when you do.  For heaven's sake DON'T eat the damn cookie, you know you'll be angry with yourself later!  And focus . . . focus, focus, focus!  Why can I not seem to FOCUS on a damn thing!?!?  My article is written.  It just needs to be edited and marketed.  HELLO??  DO IT!  I have friends supporting me at every turn, for which I am more grateful than I can ever begin to express.   But I'M the one who has to make it all happen.  Right now I just want to hibernate.  I can't freaking WAIT for Spring!

I have no patience for my kids.  I pick monkey up from school and right away I've had enough.  It shows in the way I speak to them, I know it.  It's not fair to them.  The problem is with ME, not with them.  *sighs* 

I need adult stimulation, but I have no energy to put on a pair of shoes, let alone go out and find company. 

I can't freaking WAIT for Spring!!!  *sighs*

Ain't I just a ray of sunshine today?  And this, my wonderful friends, is why I've been making myself somewhat absent, lately.  I promised myself long ago that I would not subject others to my complaining.  Unfortunately, I have trouble finding the balance between expressing what I need to, and becoming a griper that brings the rest of the world down with me.  Forgive me.  I'm trying.

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