The Five Strands of A Sedentary Empress

There's no way to make it sound interesting.

I was distracted by mother and her shenanigans so I failed to mention my thoughts on Dark Knight, after I went on about how disinterested I was in seeing it, or how much I didn't understand the Heath Ledger fascination of late.

I dragged myself down the stairs, wearing mismatched pajamas and my purple robe, sulking perhaps, and craving chocolate. I settled on tea before wrapping myself in a throw blanket and waiting expectantly for M. to operate the machine. He normally leaves it to me, with all my movie-loving, technological gloriousness (I know which remote does what). After nearly three hours of sitting still and having various parts of my body fall asleep, I realized two things: 1)the movie is actually kind of good, in a *boom!* kind of way, and 2)Heath Ledger made the entire film. Good on ya, Heath. You went out on a high note. M. thought it was one of the best films he'd ever seen, and I snickered at this because this is sort of typical of men, no? They find a film which includes explosions and proper representation of every kind of mode of transportation (there weren't any canoes, but they managed to fit in everything else) and a good dollop of violence and they're happy. If there had been naked breasts and a smattering of blood he might not have ever recovered.

I'm a little off today, mostly because I'm still annoyed with all the family drama, but it'll pass. I have to recognize that I always willingly go into these conversations with my mother knowing she's incapable of rational thought, only to come away feeling as though I've been unjustly attacked. This means I share the blame. I get it. I hate it, but I get it.

I finished 'A Letter To My Daughter', by Maya Angelou. It was kind of short, sort of lacking in meat, but it was a nice read and I came away from it wanting to know more about her. It was the kind of book you could read in twenty page intervals at bedtime without having to think too hard, but you could see the loveliness in it. Not deep, not gripping, but there are lessons in it if you care to learn. I am finished with Maya, and I'm finished with my Bette Davis bio, so now I'm on to the giant book 'O's Big Book of Happiness'. You laugh? Go ahead. It was a gift from M., who is full aware of my quest to claw myself out of the dark hole I've been in since puberty, and it's filled with articles on just about everything from mental well-being to the myths about cancer. Frankly, I am excited to know that Anthony Bourdain has an article or two in it. The man has a serious coolness about him. You haven't seen 'No Reservations' on the Travel channel or on Discovery? Let me just say that I look forward to Sunday night. He's jaded, irreverent and undeniably attractive. So what if he eats donkey testicles or deep-fried poop shoot? You need to watch the show, trust.

Soon I will read 'Moral Disorder' by Margaret Atwood. I have an autographed copy and for some reason I haven't opened it up except to look at the signature twice. I've no clue as to why. One of my Facebook friends apparently received a letter from Atwood today, something to do with the thesis Alison is writing, and somehow she got in contact with Ms.M regarding advice or some such and now they have a legitimate exchange going on. Colour me impressed. And also jealous. Alison is one of those smart, liberal, looks great without makeup, has the husband who wears ties and plays chess kind of girls. When I knew her well, she wore pearl necklaces and penny loafers even though she was a teenager. She was serious, inquisitive and determined. Those girls are the types who get letters from Atwood, I guess.

I'm making pizza tonight, as per request. I am not making it with cheese because I cannot eat cheese these days. Instead, it will be covered in roasted broccoli, garlic, tomatoes, zucchini, spices and olive oil. Sound good? No, not to me either but when you get older and you've eaten whatever you wanted in your youth, your later digestive years have limits. If you think this won't happen to you, you're wrong. If you are a woman, plan on having a child, have yo-yo dieted in your life, have been on the birth control pill, have extra weight on your body, eat fast food or have family members who have gall bladder issues you will end up just like me, on a waiting list for you gall bladder to be extricated from your body, and until it is, you'll be in agony if you eat anything with cream or fat or excess sugar. You still think it won't happen to you? Oh...dear child. You are so, so wrong.

Off to make...bread and vegetables.

*sigh*