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Don't nail my butt to this ...

Living in a small country town can get a little odd when you are from the city. The town has a funeral director who, in the quiet times, works for the local hardware shop. I knew this but never thought much of it. This morning in the hardware shop, in the reflection of a bottle of turpentine, I saw him behind me with his tape measure extended. I'm not an early morning person and, admittedly, I do resemble death warmed up at 9am but I was questioning his marketing. Swinging around full of fake life said  "I'm just looking - no need to wait for me"... (now or later). I know business is slow and there is a lot of multi-tasking in this town but I hadn't planned on dying before I chose the paint.
I know in any other business we give people top marks for initiative but this was blatant coffin chasing. Perhaps he just thought my butt wouldn't fit and I needed something custom made ...I dunno but, suffice to say, I grabbed the paint and left alive - without a pre-paid plan.

Till next time...still living and breathing. 
Red