On My Happy Cloud

Bad Mood

I really shouldn't have to say anything more but....well, I'm gonna.


I'm insanely irritable today. Everything is annoying me. Every little thing. I know for the most part I can brush it off as PMS but it's kinda more than that too.

My apartment's a mess. It's like such an issue to navigate to and fro. Just little out of place things are irritating me, clothes on the floor, random objects on the kitchen table, ect.

I guess the friggin' allergy season is coming up for me. Not to mention the sudden change in our stupid Indiana spring season is enough to turn me into a bear all on it's own. I mean, honestly, why can't it just stay nice or cold outside?? So, my allergies are driving me insane...my WHOLE body itches. And also, Sesh's hair is just flippin' floating around all over the place. It like gets on my skin, on my computer, on the table, the chairs, the floor...everywhere! And yeah, it's majorly irritating me.

I don't have any money. Actually, it's laughable the fact that I have NEGATIVE money since about three days after my last pay day and I don't get paid again until this Thursday. The only thing I have to drink is milk. My bread (almost gone anyway) is not soft or enjoyable. I'm just low on groceries period. And guess what? I just have to wait till Thursday. I have exactly three dollars on me.

Bobby makes coffee (for joy, I'm out of that too though he's buying me some tonight) and he makes a full pot and leaves it on the burner all day. So when I get up it's been on there for a good two hours. And it tastes awful! I have to just suck it down cause my body needs it. And because it was ALL THAT WAS LEFT! For crying out loud, I just want to taste my fresh coffee in the morning! I know that sounds sooo stupid but really, it's all I look forward too.

All I can do is shake my head. Nearly a year later (after moving in here) and I'm still struggling with all this shit financially. I'm not nearly as bad off as some people and honestly that's what keeps me from having a break down. I am trying to do better. I don't use my debit card anymore because I could have been doing a lot better if I hadn't been spending so much money on so many un-necessary things. So, I just take out a limited amount of money and that has to last me on groceries and gas. If I run out...well, sucks to be me. The rest of my money goes to bills. I was short a day last pay period so my check is going to be smaller than normal and I over-drew twice in my bank account which is going to total a 60 dollar fee. My rent's due, my electrics due, my phone is due, I'm a month behind on my car payment. I'm so overwhelmed and frustrated. So...yeah. I'm in a bad mood. I'm severely on edge right now.

I want to get rid of my debt and be able to get a house some day, you know? That's my biggest goal and I feel strong and confident that I can do it but today...

...today I just want to cry. I'm so sad and miserable.

Much love,

Elaine Bradley