Beetlebung and Kettlehole--April Poems

A Fool's April First – True Story

Morning

A cool plan!
So you’ll start small, stretching
to firm up the tummy;
cellulite galore
in need of a fat ban.
“I’m not hungry!”
Affirmations do not work anymore.
Too effing flabby, gotta get
the body in shape.
That said,
only the insane
would scheme such a thing,
while half-asleep
and prone,
and still in bed.

Noon

Having lunch with friends
who float on Beaujolais,
with confessions that smell
of methane from the burning
around the landfill.
They search you for what
you’ve got. Slouching toward
your plate, you admit to envy,
your coveting Martha Stewart in
a struck-by-lightning, housewifery moment.
Laughter ringing wild, your words
come down, drifting like
some new off-human species.

Afternoon

You walk in the mall and buy
stuff from Borders,
downsizing, forty percent off,
even if, under economy’s gales,
you act a rock but feel
the cry of the waves.
Then, inside the GAP, a little girl
smiles and waves at you…you think;
her image, certainly you’ll keep,
for nothing else today
can match up to that,
a child of the stars shining
her light from her pearly whites.

Evening

The boldest thing you did today,
as you turned people’s wits inside out,
was to eat an apple with
two breadsticks for supper,
while others feasted on
chicken cutlets and macaroni.
Luckily, the crowd
did not turn on you, but
your own battlement tactics
will, for you know
how much you’ll devour
after everyone sleeps.
"Only a fool --like you--
tests the depth of the water
with both feet."