I'm Studying You

How many gigabytes in an hour?

A good weekend to you all, Studyees. It is with little shame that I face you, my friends of the internet-folk, bearing the news I must share:

I am a technology slut.

Oh, don't you Stoggers hate on this kid for the dilemma I am experiencing and forcing myself to share with you all.

It started with the Blackberry and all the fun shit I could do (and the annoying crap it couldn't wouldn't do). It progressed into the Toshiba laptop and the many many man hours spent trying to upload my massive cd collection on its 250 gigabyte hard drive. And today, I have reached another milestone...I traded in my old, non-functioning iPod for a fancier, sexier model with more storage (at a 10% discount, of course).

I can see the reactions in your collective psyches now, Studyees, and it looks sorta like this: .

For the record, I have used up about 60-70 gbs with just music so far on my laptop, and I'm maybe 3/4 done with my cds.

Around 4-ish, I started downloading the new version of iTunes software to this pig. That took about a half hour. Once that was complete, I went outside in the beautiful weather to show Alex how to play basketball like a man and not a scrawny 13-year-old, thinking his mom would be proud. Man's game, boy!! Yeah, I'm kinda too old for vigorous physical activity. Fuck that, not this body. Alas...

So in my pain I opened up iTunes, fully aware that all the hard work I've done previously in uploading my beats, rhymes and life may have gone for naught since Windows Media Player may not store my shit the way I like it and iTunes may not transfer my files properly, meaning I'll hafta delete all my music and start over again, only this time ripping straight to iTunes instead of Windows Media. Ohhhhh did that thought pierce me like a hot needle through the numbed earlobe you tried to jab yourself with when you were in junior high and your folks were against you getting an earring but you wanted one anyway 'cuz you wanted to be different. Not sayin' I did this, I just know...yeah anyway...

In my utter delight Stoggers, iTunes has taken the liberty of converting my tracks to conform with its system of doing things. Which should be good, right? Right...until we assume it was probably around 5:00 this afternoon that it started this chicanery. Quick time check in The Library now: 12:10am. And the conversion? Yeah...into the K's of my collection as of now. Which means maybe by 7:15 in the morning of Saturday (tomorrow in my sleep-fucked world) when I wake up to get Jessica to work by 8, iTunes may have saved me a shit-ton of extra work, and I can actually plug my new 120gb iPod Classsic into the computer and have my music back on the get-go where it should be. Thanks be to Jeebus I haven't added my Oasis cd's yet, but I'm kicking myself in the ass for alreading uploading my Pearl Jam, Wilco, Tragically Hip and Radiohead cd's.

So hoo-hah on my dome.

Let's take a look at some other technological advances I've made in the past few months that I've been neglecting on keeping you up on...

I now use conditioner on a regular basis. Herbal Essence, I believe. Or Fructis. I can't remember. Whatever the pretty lady I wake up next to every day buys for me. Of course, when your hair is about as long as hers, it's a smart idea to condition. And when it (the hair) is as fine as mine, you also...

Are using a thickening serum infused with caffeine. It smells minty! Dunno if it makes a difference, but it has encouraged me to start blow-drying my hair. Mad long, yo. Mad long.

Razor? What the frig is a razor?? And it's getting close on the one-year anniversary of my last haircut. How do I know this? Besides the obvious? My Supercuts "Get 12, your 13th is free!" card's last date is from last May. (I know it's not technological; it's just a fun fact.)

My sis is coming back to town for a visit! She must be healing well. Although I had to find that out from a comment she left on a friend's Facebook status. Which means technology has taken over the age-old art of the bro/sis relationship. Unreal.

I have more ex-girlfriends as friends on Facebook now than I knew what Facebook was a year ago.

That last point...I don't know which part of it is sadder.

**This spot left intentionally blank**

So there's the update. Your boy here is moving up in the world, one tiny electrode stored in some bit of memory at a time. Studyees, I'm making it my goal in life once I get past this technological nightmare-in-training to subside to return to reading and commenting and saying hi and lovin' up on your blogs more often. That's my word.

Unless I can convince Jess to upgrade the DirecTv package to include TiVo. Or I buy more dvds of "The Office" and "Family Guy".

So that's all for today, Studyees. Get yourselves a nice night of sleep and go out and enjoy the weekend, wherever it may take all y'all. I'll be back soon...GOODNIGHT NOW!!

(Ooooohhhh, iTunes is knee-deep into the L's! Now I'm so much more ashamed that I let Limp Bizkit into my life. Hold me. Please. Somebody.)