Out of the Ashes...

Dos Guerras...

I seem to be getting along quite well at work. In fact, I’d say I’ve been somewhat influential.

The getting along well part was obvious from what happened yesterday. As soon as I arrived, Bob blocked the doors with a cart. Ya see, we have this little storeroom thingy (called a Cooler for you silly folk who aren’t thinking), and I usually just barge right in. I guess it’s kind of a dramatic entrance of sorts - needless to say, I usually do so without looking. So, Bob had intended that I barge into the cart rather than the room. Thankfully, I saw it beforehand.

Of course, since the trick didn’t work quite as he’d planned, Bob tried to hide. How’d I find him? His snickers. Little shit... Gentle he may act, red hair like Barb he may have, and quiet he may be - that little stunt reminded me of my son. Since Bob is 26 (or somewhere around that age), I couldn;t stomp him into the floor as I do my son when he’s out of hand. So, how’d I get Bob back?

I reminded him that his bride to be is just like MOI...and...I can easily forge an alliance with her to make sure he’s screwed for life (and NOT in a good way). That wiped the smile off his freckled mug.

HA!

The “influential” part has to do with one of our worst co-workers - yes, the overly negative, lazy one I wrote of in a previous entry. For a long time our supervisor has been trying to have something done about her (as well as one other, but mainly the mouthy one). Our supervisor is very serious about her gig (even if she’s frustrated with it overall), but we have one thing in common: if we accept to be hired to do a certain job, we’re gonna do it. Period. And neither of us has high tolerance for regularly picking up the slack of others for very long. The sup’s been trying and trying...and trying...to get the eeee-vil one officially warned (or even moved to another department), but to no avail. Even though all the managers know the deal, nothing gets done.

Well, that is, until I came along.

From day one, as I explained in that earlier blog post, I knew what kind of person this lazy one is, and I knew we would not get along. I did not tell you certain things for fear that there’d be so much you really wouldn’t believe it. Heck, I’m faced with it most days, and it took ME awhile to really believe it.

Anyway, the reason I’m having more of this kind of effect is due to one chief thing: I do not fear authority (unless I’ve done something wrong), and I even pick on authority (joke with them, whether they like it or not). I think I explained that in a previous entry, too. That’s just the way I am, and mainly it’s taken well.

A couple weeks ago, the top management became aware that I have no fear of either them or any visiting suits. They think I’m funny. They may also think I’m a bit crazy, but hey! Whastever works, right? But when I get serious (oh how rare that is), I get serious. That day a couple of weeks ago, those top managers saw that serious, professional side. I actually brought up the problem of these two lazy folks. I named no one, and did that on purpose - to see if what I was told was true. Did they already know the problem and exactly who? YEP! They sure did. So I dropped a quickie comment, and left it at that.

Flash forward a bit to one day last week. Loudmouth co-worker actually left a mess AND didn’t fill the shelves. Where was she? Well, who knows, really. All over, actually. Everywhere she was asked to go except where she’s assigned. In fact, when I heard about it, I actually asked questions to find out which managers were on duty. I then sought out and asked them a couple questions. Well, one really. Did you pull Jessica to <enter job assigned here>? Each of the three said she VOLUNTEERED.

Hmmmm... So, I took that info to mt supervisor, including the names of said managers (who, by the way, do not communicate with one another). Three separate sources of info brought into one wrapped package.

The super noted it - she already knew Jessica does that. But still, having the NAMES of the managers who approved her volunteerism would help.

Flash forward again to last Thursday evening. I had the distinct privilege of working with BOTH of the “magically disappearing when there’s work to do” co-workers. Which means I was alone. Trouble was that a regional boss was in. In fact, the regional suit was our super’s boss. So our department was under the eye of the all-knowing corporate entity (henceforth to be known and referred to as Little Brother). Since I was the only one actually working AND it was a very busy night AND some guy was repairing a cooler fan that had necessitated pulling almost all of our fresh greens (you know, lettuce and such), the department needed serious attention.

Tony, Lazy Worker #1, pretty much disappeared as soon as he clocked in. But since I like him otherwise, I wasn’t worried. If we needed him, I knew where he was. However, Jessica, Lazy Worker #2, also disappeared right after arrival. She did ONE thing, saw the guy was repairing the fan, then announced that there was nothing to do until he finished.

Oh, on the contrary. I mentioned straitening shelves, prepping and refreshing the pulled items, AND that the guy was just doing final paperwork and getting ready to allow us back into the area. There was also ample stocking to do elsewhere. She ignored all that...and...took off for about a half hour. During that time, I put back together the greens, stocked another section, and started in on yet another.

That’s when the store’s second in command arrived...Chris. He’s nice, usually cool, and has a great sense of humor. But he does get really jittery when suits from regional or above are anywhere within 100 miles of the store. *snicker* USUALLY, I use that as fodder to poke a little fun at him - to his face, of course - but at that point I was not in the mood.

“Hi, Mike,” he says on approach.

I was bent over the strawberries, which sucks because if I wanted to kneel that much I’d convert to Catholicism.

“So, you heard regional’s here, right?” he asked.

I get up, look him in the eyes, and say, “Dude, I know what you’re about to suggest and the answer is no I cannot have this ready.”

“Why not? There are three of you here.”

I narrowed my eyes at his. “Do you see three of us, Chris?” I then waited as he actually looked around.

“Are they in the back?” he asked, his tone unsure but his eyes knowing what was coming.

I simply shook my head.

He sighed. “Tony and Jessica, right?”

“Bingo. Look, man, really... If you look real close, you’ll actually see a second person. Just not in her department.”

The word HER must have clued him in, since he immediately looked at the Deli area. Yep! There she was. Jessica manning that station, relieving someone who’d gone to lunch, whole OUR work was not even close to being done.

“What’s more, Chirs, she went elsewhere for about 30 minutes before going to the Deli.”

“Where’d she go?” Chris asked.

“Well, since she took her purse, I can only assume she went on break. Chris, I only need ONE of these ghosted co-workers to get this ready. I don’t care which.”

Chris went over to the Deli then came back.

“Jessica says she’ll be over as soon as someone returns from lunch,” Chris reported.

WTF!? She’s telling HIM. I don’t think so... Chris is no wimp, but something tells me he’s afraid of Jessica. Perhaps he doesn’t like being yelled at? Who knows, but he’s IN CHARGE!

“Where’s Tony?” he asked.

“I think he’s in the back putting together bikes with his friend,” I replied.

Chris left to get Tony. During that time, two other managers came up to ask what had happened. Well, strike that. Since they already knew, they were confirmign the story they’d heard from Chris. Which, of course, I confirmed...twice...once to each of them.

Tony ended up coming back, we ended up getting ready. DURING that time, I took my break. Jessica also took ANOTHER break - and then decided to head out for lunch. She spent a grand total of five minutes in our department the entire first third of her shift.

Once she returned, I had a half hour left, so I just took off to do something else. I’d had enough. The next day, I heard that Jessica still had not done her work and even left the place uncleaned. Total mess, in fact...

Oh, but it gets better. Due to that fiasco, and my level-headed handling of a maddening situation (and showing management more than a little irritation at their seeming inaction over something so obvious and well known), two things happened: my supervisor found new reasons to restart her justifiable crusade AND I was noticed.

According to my supervisor, the managers all agreed that I was working my arse off. That’s how THEY saw it. Wanna know what REALLY happened? I was working as I always do, they just happened to notice that I was doing it - mainly - alone. So in a way, having two crappy workers not doing their jobs while I did mine made me look far better in their eyes than I am.

Remember, I’m a newbie - I miss things that the other four (out of six total) good workers catch in an instant. That night, I was doing the OBVIOUS things. Bu they! I’ll take recognition where I can get it, eh? *wink*

Well, anyway, the super’s gonna DEMAND management discipline Jessica - and Tony if he doesn’t get his act straight. But for now...Jessica. Since I outright told our super I have her back on this one, she doesn’t feel like she’s going it alone. Heck, I can easily write up a full report on what happened just that one night and, without any kind of embellishment, make it sound like it was a malicious attack on the integrity of our otherwise good department. And I can back that up by making a personal appearance at said disciplinary conference - on my day off (Monday) - if they wish. No problem at all with that.

TWO good things will come out of that hearing.

One, Jessica will stop trying to seduce me in her hideously low-brow manner. Examples: “I like to F***, what can I say?” and “I prefer older men” (coincidentally, I’m a decade and a half older - hmmm...)” and “So, what do you do on Friday nights? Drinking, sex, what?” and “I heard most of the women in Watseka are sluts. How many of them know you?” and - last one, but nowhere close everything - “When I get drunk, I like to shed my clothes. You’re coming to my birthday party next month, aren’t you?”

NO!

Well, you see the point there, right? So after this, she’ll leave me alone.

The second thing is that she’ll either straighten up, be transferred out (eventually), or (also eventually) be canned for further offenses. You see, knowing she has support now, the supervisor can feel completely free to move forward. And trust me, when it comes to something like this - something right to do - and I dang good ally to have.

‘Cause I can write AND deliver a small, kinda charismatic speech.

Of course, I still pick on the supervisor for being short. Yes, even in the midst of all the above recent troubles. In fact, SHE even picks on herself now. Apparently, she’s never done that before - not there anyway. Hilarious... I hear she has a daughter working there, too. Some 20 year old kid named Ashley.

*eeeee-vil laughter* Yes! I shall seek out Ashley and...pick on her, too.

Es guerra, amigos! Two, in fact - only, one of them is really fun.

Okay, I’ve gone on enough. I should get some shut eye. Afternoon/night shift tomorrow - MY HOURS! Yeah man!