waiting for you to notice

those dreaded words

Chapter 7





The next day…


She was walking down the hall after her English class; she hated English and the teacher more.  An arm draped over her shoulder, smiling she looked up.


         “Hey sexy” Joey smiled down at her and leaned down to give her a deep, quick kiss, which left her empty… “Didn’t see you this morning”


         “Yeah, I uh overslept” she’d really not just wanted to see him, she felt sort of weird being around him then.


         “Going to the gym later?” he didn’t seem to notice.


         “Yea”


         “Nice, I’ll see you there, I got class” he kissed her again and jovially walked away.


         “Somebody look real guilty” Keith interrupted her musings as she watched Joey, she jumped, startled.


         “What the hell?” she snapped


         “What? I ain’t done nothing, I was gon say hi, but then I saw how you was acting, you just look real guilty”


         “Why would I feel guilty, I ain’t got nothing to be guilty bout” she nonchalantly shrugged her shoulder and commenced walking.


         “I know that, but whether you know it too is another matter, I know you Nam, the same way you have a hard time keeping a secret from me is the same way you can’t lie to me”


         “Well am so happy you know me so well” she rolled her eyes and tried walking away faster, he followed her. “I don’t want to talk to you right now”


         “I know, but you’re going to”


         “Since when have I ever listened to you?” she came to a dead stop, arms crossed, feet lightly tamping, eye brow raised as she gave him her full attention.  Her face looked different, he’d known this girl since he was 4, he knew that something just wasn’t the same about her.


         “O shit you got your eyebrow done!” furious, embarrassed and happy that he’d noticed she resumed walking.


         “Your ‘girlfriend’ did it” she said emphasizing the word girlfriend.


         “We broke up” he said walking next to her; she didn’t show any expression over it.


         “Why?”


         “Just wasn’t gon work out…I ain’t trying to be with a chick that only wants to have sex all the time, am sort o sick o them little ass chicks.  I want a best friend” he said looking at her, “I know it sound corny, but…”


         “You don’t got to explain…did I fuck up Keith?” she stopped looking up at him, he saw the worry in her eyes, the nervous way which she bit her lower lip corner and thought just how sexy she was.  Last night, or morning, he’d been thinking about what had happened and how for more than months now he’d started feeling different towards her.  He’d been noticing her, noticing how completely perfect they were together, they had so much in common, knew so much about one another.  There was not one a girl who he could say something like that about, with Sanam, everything was just perfect.  They knew each other’s mood; they knew what made the other sad, smile, laugh and even cry.  She was the only girl he ever told everything to, even knowing that her big mouth couldn’t stay shut for a long time. 


         “Only if u make it seem bad Nam” she bowed her head, they were standing in public, so taking her arm in his they marched to a quiet corner where they could not be seen.  Holding her heart shaped face in his big palms; he bent down and brought his lips back to hers.  Everything from the early morning that she had felt came rushing back to her, reminding her that she hadn’t been dreaming or that it hadn’t been just another fleeting emotion.  Kissing him felt right, being in his arm felt right, he felt right, she just wanted to get lost in this kiss, not worry about what would happen later. 


         “Does this feel like a fuck up to you Nam?  Cause it sure don’t feel like it to me “he said as his forehead rested on hers.  He saw her indecision, she bit her lips harder and he knew if she continued she’d hurt and bleed herself. He signed and moved up from her.


         “You know what Nam, do what you want, stay with Joey if you want to, shit we’re still gon be cool, I’ve known you too long, you mean too much to me for me to let out friendship turn into a ‘fuck up’ ” he sounded bitter though he tried to hide it.  He couldn’t hide things from her, she knew him too well, her heart broke a little as she saw his large figure turn from her.  Was she going to let her fear of losing him let a good thing pass?  What she felt for him she knew she’d never felt for anyone before, she wasn’t so sure she could feel it for anyone besides him.  She loved Keith, platonically speaking, but she knew, over the years, it had been more than that.  Before she didn’t use to get angry when he commented on her looks, or said a snide comment that was meant as a joke.  Before she didn’t use to compare herself to his girlfriends, it had been a long time, for her, since anything had been a platonic, almost brother sister love between them.


She hurried after him, forcefully pulling him towards her, his surprised face she paid no time to as she stood on tip toes, forcing him to bend down where his face was near enough for her to kiss him.  His surprise only lasted a minute as he pulled her up on him, hands on her slim waist.  He could wrap his arm around the tiny waist of hers; he liked her small subtle curves, her flat stomach.  She wrapped her legs around his waist as he backed her up a wall, his hand somehow made it under her shirt and she visibly shivered and it made him happy to know that he was the reason for the response, but he knew this was neither the place, or time.  He signed in defeat as she bit his earlobe, nibbling on his neck, on that one spot that made him go completely crazy, yeah he definitely had the biggest hard-on.


         “Nam” his voice sound groggy and different even to his ears.  He tried clearing it, and repeated her name again; she liked how her name just rolled over his tongue so smoothly.


         “Hum” she mumbled he held onto her hips once more, he filled his palm up with her hair, pulling it a little but not enough to hurt her.  She let his lips go, head back, her beautiful swan neck exposed, he lightly dropped a kiss on her jaw line, slowly descending to her neck, he nibbled, sucked, wanting to leave his mark there, not Joey.  He wanted to tell the world she was his…but he wasn’t sure they had even established that.  As he flicked a tongue inside her ear he heard a moan from her and slightly smiled pulling away.


         “We need to get away from here…we need to talk” he said as he slowly let her go, she ran a hand through her hair which was now in disarray, he chuckled lightly pushing some short girls from her forehead.


         “‘We need to talk’, the four most dreaded words” wrinkling her nose up at him he laughed.


         “I see your dumbness hasn’t left you”


         “If it did, you’d be as smart as a fish, peanut brain” she walked off leaving him standing there, yeah that was his Nam. He shook his head, he followed her, they went to her dorm and luckily, Shaniq wasn’t there.