Blog/Journal

Slow Me Down

I had a dream the other night.
I was at my cottage where the snow sat heavily all around, dampening the sounds and settling in like a winter postcard.
For some reason (that was never revealed in my dream) I had to go outside. I opened up the sliding glass door and stepped out into the cold white world.
Fulfilling my unknown purpose, I walked over to the steps, but the snow had covered them so deeply that they hid completely beneath the white blanket. My foot reached blindly down for the first step - I knew approximately where it should be. It was deep alright, even beyond the top ridge of my Sorel boot.
'The stairs must be here,' I thought. I stepped out with my other foot, but something wasn't right. Both my legs kept sinking, as though there were no step - no hard surface to stand on. I tried to maneuver my body to stop myself from sinking further, but the snow would not support my weight.
"Help!" I hollered just before my head dipped beneath the surface. Would someone have heard me? "HELP!" I panicked louder, as the snow encased me, tightly binding my legs and arms against my body. I couldn't move. The snow had swallowed me whole and was smothering me in it's thick silence. All I could do was look up and watch the round porthole to the sky rise away from me.

The dream doesn't surprise me. I've just completed a two year project that has robbed much of my free time and left me drowning in a lack of direction. I made a decision just over a year ago to complete the project and move away from it, so I can then focus on doing the things I've been longing to do.
I am finally able to S L O W D O W N.
I found my personal theme song for this year and I'm pasting the lyrics below. It sums up how I've been feeling.
Heading up to cottage very soon to write - yay for me! XD Hope to have internet there eventually (although it will be dial up - ughhh), but at least I will be able to stay in touch here.

Slow Me Down
Written by Stuart Brawley, Emmy Rossum & Bridget Benenate
Performed by Emmy Rossum

Rushing and racing and running in circles
Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding chaotic
Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart

Save me
Somebody take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might disappear
In the blur of fast forward I falter again
Forgetting to breath
I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Pass me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart

Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breath
Somebody please
Slow me down