Out of the Ashes...

Against The Grain - and why...

I have done a variety of gigs in my life. In fact, if you look at my resume just from the past 10 years, you’d think I just can’t really decide on what to do with my “professional” life. Truth is, as long as bills are paid, I don’t care what I do. My mother wanted me to attend some kind of college or university, but from an early age I knew schooling was just the pits for me. Didn’t take me long to figure out education is mainly the opinions of those whose books are purchased as well as those who run certain classrooms. Add to it, also from an early age, getting up early seemed against the grain for me.

Funny, I do a lot of things against the grain simply because ... well ... because I can!

So, anyway, I tried college for a year. It sucked. The first semester was pretty easy. Just a hair under a 4.0 (out of 4.0, of course), and only because I missed a couple stupid quizzes. The second semester confirmed what I’d always known. The rules were rigged. Here are just three examples...

SPEECH - the very first day, the instructor laid out what we CANNOT give speeches on. The list was long, actually, and covered ALL of the interesting (she said “controversial”) subjects. Ironically, the list contained EVERYTHING in which I’m interested. After all, if someone’s giving a speech, wouldn’t it be best to give one on a subject in which the speaker’s interested? I mean, really. Wouldn’t it then be a bit more interesting to those having to listen when the speaker is animated? Yeah! But, noooooo... No politics, no religion, no science (for God’s sake, even that!), nothing on current legal controversies, and so on. Pretty much all the things that really power human civilization - regardless of location. So after sitting through some really mundane speeches, I got up and just winged it. What’d I do mine on? Stupid rules... No kidding. After that, I never returned. It was a required class, so obviously that meant I would NEVER graduate, no matter how smart I was or whatever my abilities would handle down the line.

ILLINOIS HISTORY - THE most boring instructor... EVER! I kid you not. This class made the bane of my high school existence - Biology - seem outright tolerable. And here’s the thing - I LOVE HISTORY. But that guy’s style was awful. Simply awful. I failed that class because I barely showed up after the first few weeks. I just couldn’t take it. This was nearly 20 years ago, and I still shudder whenever I see that textbook on library or bookstore shelves. Again, not a joke. UGH!

AMERICAN LITERATURE - You’d think I’d have really loved this class, right? After all, even back then I could write creatively. I figured it’d be fun to figure out why I could do that without really trying and possibly even improve my style. However...

The very first thing the liberal scum teaching the class did was have us analyze an American song lyric - Simon & Garfunkel’s “Sound of Silence.” She assigned us to take the sheet home, and then next time the class met we were to give a verbal report on what the lyric meant to us. EASY! Ya see, I love S&G - big time. Great duo, they are. Pretty melodies, outstanding thoughtful lyrics. They were then, as they remain now, one of my fav musical groups. As such, I knew a LOT about them and what influenced some of their best known tunes. So, yeah. Easy assignment.

So I gave my little report. It turned out different than what most said - which was right down the line with what the group meant to convey (how odd *rolls eyes*). At the end, I was outright told I was WRONG. The song was NOT about what I stated. I responded with, “I know that. You asked us to recount what it means to US, not what Paul and Art were saying. Our own interpretation right?” Yes, I was right, but since I didn’t discover the TRUTH on my own, I was wrong. The class spoke up on my defense, since they heard the same assignment as I. But to no avail...

???????????????????????? WTF?

I stopped going. The teacher sought me out in the cafeteria once and asked why. So, I explained what I figured was already obvious. She asked for us to think, come up with something insightful about what the tune meant to us, as individuals. I did that, and was admonished? DUH! It then dawned on me: how can any teacher effectively guide a class to think creatively and critically if he/she themselves cannot do so?

Basically, that’s the main reason I’m stuck working less than blue collar gigs - intolerance for petty dictators. Now that I’m older, wiser, and maybe even a bit smarter, had I to do it over again, I’d find smart-ass ways to muddle through (such as giving a speech on why wrist watches should be banned in workplaces that have clocks - through federal law *snicker*). In short, I’d play their stupid games.

But, things are what they are, and I must deal. As stated above, these days I do it with more than sarcastic irony. So now we get tot he main point of this entry... How similar the world at large seems to the stupidity found in classrooms (grade, middle, high schools or even college level).

I have never before worked retail. Mostly, it’s a normal job. I go, get paid a pittance for my time, actually do the work, and then go back to my poor man’s hovel to await the next day and pray I don;t get stupid and spend too much before the next paycheck. You know, a normal life - finally. Not only have I never worked retail, but I’ve never before worked in any kind of grocery. With this Walmart gig, I get to do both. Although I said it’s pretty much a regular job, there are some things that have me scratching my head in utter wonderment.

Some examples:

The other day, a woman stopped and asked a co-worker why we don’t keep the tips of the asparagus moist. The co-worked was just there in our department for the day, so she deflected the question to me. Since I’m a micro-waving single male, I had no worldly idea. Geez... I buy canned asparagus, slap a dollop of butter on it, press a button - DONE! Fresh? Hell if I know! Thankfully, Da Boss was also there, so I continued the chain of irresponsibility and referred said customer to her. The customer asked Da Boss, but not for an answer. Nope! She basically wanted to whine that WE don;t do what the OTHER Walmart does, and as such she will not buy asparagus from our store. That’s it. It was really hard nto to bust out laughing, seriously it was. Of course, after the customer moved on (in a huff, to boot), Da Boss and I took a few moments to poke fun at the stupid, spoiled woman. We laughed pretty hard. Then, of course, we stopped, looked at each other, and I said “Ya know, she has a point.” We made the adjustment. Oh, so THAT’S what those white open top boxes are for. HUH!

Another thing that grabs me about American retail are the usage of certain terms. ORGANIC being one that has me shaking my head. Organic fruit and veggies, organic keyboards, organic whatever. For the foodstuffs, Organic apparently means the stuff’s grown without using of any kind of pesticide (and whatever else farmers do to the crops to ensure they grow well enough to sell) AND that no preservatives are used for shipment. However, Organic foods we carry usually come in pretty wrappings. Here’s the thing... All that LACK of extra protection causes the food to be MORE expensive, it lasts about half the time as the other foodstuffs, and doesn’t sell as well (we end up tossing MOST of it, in fact). But the thing that really gets me is the term. Organic...

Uh, we are biological creatures, so the ONLY kind of food we can consume without experiencing an extremely painful death, IS organic. Organic creatures - organic food. DUH! We cannot consume plastic or metals - only organic. Wanna prove it? Just try taking a bite out of an Organic keyboard. Tasty? No. Easily chewed? Nope... Swallow without tearing out your esophagus? Definitely not! Assuming one DOES manage to get such processed materials into the tummy, how do you think it would be digested? NOT! That’s where a good health plan comes in real handy...

ALL FOOD IS ORGANIC! Sheesh!

Organic... A BS term used to sell whatever businesses wish to reach the idiot Leftists who believe anything they’re told. Organic keyboards, for example, are NOT organic. If they were, they’d probably hug your hands and eventually be programmed to moan (in a good way) when touched. An organic chair would actively massage ones back. An organic computer would likely posses AI enough to turn OFF when someone’s been on too long...and then command the user to go out to get some exercise. Organic instruments would play themselves...and be pissed when the human takes ownership and all the glory for resultant hit songs...and then go on strike. I can see it now - organic musical instruments forking their own union. The Organic Union of Instruments (or OUI). Gives a new meaning to “Union YES!” - right?

Another thing that grabs me is Walmart specific. The phrase “Sam’s Choice.” Now, I am aware that is one of their brands. However, I can’t help but think: “But, Sam’s dead! He can’t choose a damn thing!”

EQUATE is another Walmart brand, usually reserved for non-organic items (bathroom items, drugs, etc). It’s their “generic” brand, in fact, marketed as if it has nothing to do with the retail chain. Now, this is something that really is a sticking point for me. They sell the same stuff at vastly lowered pricing...right next to the known brand names. Same stuff, different names and prices. Made by the same companies, too. The products are EXACTLY the same. And yet, Equate doesn’t sell as well. That amazes me...

And speaking of the drugs themselves... Are you aware that when former prescription-only items go over the counter (OTC) that only the strength of each pill is reduced? That’s right. To go OTC, the company MUST (by law) reduce it. Guess what that ratio is? HALF! Yeah, half. So, the Zantac prescription pill is 150 mg. OTC pills are 75 mg (each). Take two and you have prescription strength. It amazes me that Zantac is STILL prescribed by doctors at that original 150 mg for high prices when the lowered prices OTC do exactly the same thing. The info is ON THE PACKAGE!

The same goes for soft drinks... Dr. Thunder IS Dr. Pepper - it’s not a cheap rip-off. Dr. Pepper is distinct in taste, and no one has been able to copy the formula (even if they somehow get a hold of it). It’s just in different packaging specifically for WM - and again, cheaper.

There’s a lot more, but I think you get the point. Americans are kinda stupid. Not ignorant...stupid. We’re easily led by TV commercials to think a brand name is somehow better than off brand - even when it’s rather obvious some of the products are exactly the same (not just similar). If they’re told ORGANIC is more healthy, they will believe it and thus pay more for such foods - even though ALL food is organic. And then somehow miss that it’s impossible (for now) for keyboards, chairs, beds, and desks to be organic.

Then again, I know college grads who consistently get the terms “they’re,” “their,” and “there” confused - and actually argue about it when even gently corrected. We’ll spends BILLIONS on advertising campaigns to hawk products and services we really do not need, using terms that are very misleading, yet fight to the death over proper spending for better education. We’ll spend THOUSANDS educating kids on things they can actually learn on their own - or be trained for a fraction of the price. For example, trade schools. If one thinks even a little about it, it makes far better sense NOT to spend money teaching a kid to weld than it is to have him BEING PAID to learn the same thing as an Apprentice. DUH!

It’s all about the money, honey, and like sheep we follow without question because things come in pretty little packages or just made to SOUND good., And yes, that goes for politics and religion, too. Sounds and looks good, IS good - even if it really isn’t.

And some wonder why I intentionally go against the grain... Does no one think anymore?