Complex Numbers

I read the news today, oh boy...

There are few news outlets I trust. Reuters is one of them.

But today, let's play that old SAT game, "Which one doesn't belong?"

Top 10 stories on Reuters, circa noon EST today:

1. Iran says courts will teach protesters a lesson | Video
2. Washington subway urged to upgrade before crash | Video
3. UPDATE 1-US reality TV stars Jon & Kate to split
4. Air France crash searchers say no black box found
5. Al Qaeda says would use Pakistani nuclear weapons
6. UPDATE 3-Air France crash searchers say no black box found
7. Seven killed in Washington subway crash: mayor | Video
8. Iran starts airforce manoeuvres in Gulf
9. Birth defects show human price of coal | Video
10. Shot dog bites gunman

(see http://www.reuters.com/ to view the current list)

Okay, leaving aside for the moment that some of those are actually about the same thing: 2 and 7; 4 and 6; arguably, 1 and 8. That's still seven news items. But let's also scratch #10 - after all, it's a "dog bites man" story, and everyone knows that's never news. So... six basic items: Iran (war / current events), DC subway crash (death), Air France crash (death); Al-Qaida talking out its collective ass (OMG EVERYONE PANIC); birth defects (human interest) and...

Jon & Kate.

By all that's holy, MAKE IT STOP.

It's embarrassing enough that I know what J&K are. It's embarrassing enough that I've even HEARD of that train wreck. (Get it? Train wreck? DC Metro? Oh, nevermind...)

Now, to scream, "I DON'T CARE!" at the top of my lungs would be disingenuous, because I wouldn't be bitching about it if I didn't care, but the fact is, I DON'T CARE.

And you shouldn't, either.

Yes, really. I couldn't give two craps about some idiot couple who were stupid enough to pop out eight sprogs, yet lucky enough to get paid by some TV producer to act like they have some semblance of being normal human beings, when normal human begins a) have vaginas, not clown cars; b) keep their private lives private and c) don't get paid godzillions of dollars to violate a) and b) above.

Seriously, make it stop. The only way to make it stop would be if everyone just hollered, "I DON'T CARE" all at once, and turned off the goddam-noisy-box for however long that idiotic "reality" show is on, or, preferably, far longer. Isn't there a channel that shows grass growing or something else more interesting? Or how is the internet failing at its job of distracting us from idiotic TV shows?

Just stop. Then this "news" wouldn't be given a higher priority than FUCKING AL-QAEDA SAYING THEY WANT TO GODDAMN NUKE US. Stop watching. Stop clicking on news stories about it. Stop pretending this is in any way whatsoever OKAY.

No, I don't care about the show. What I care about is that people care about the show, and that's what's gotta stop.

...(pant)

...(pant)

...(pant)

Okay, I'm calm now.

While you're at it, make Octopussy go away, too.