TheIdocracyOfTeenageRomance x

♥ Scared To Death About Loosing Her Forever ♥

Thursday morning, atm. I'm scared to death . I'm scared because I think Jemma might win back Lauren and then that will be the end of me. I don’t know what I could do if she just came right out of my life because she’s the Best Friend anyone could ask for and if I lose her I would be shattered but what happens if she wants to be best friends with her . Not me .

Well, honesty , I don’t blame her. Jemma is way prettier than me , She knows about a lot of things I don’t , She is more popular, More accepted, she takes great pictures, She can get about any boy she really wants, She has loads of friends , She is better than me .

Maybe I should just let Lauren be friends with her. I mean she might be better off. Sure, I might be on my own for a bit and ill loose her but she will be happy wont she, I want what is best for her. I mean , she probably would be going out with James by now if Jess had helped her. I'm just useless to her and the memories are probably too strong for Lauren to regret their friendship .

But why am I so scared then . I want the best for her but why do I not want to let her go. She opened so many paths for me. I mean, I wouldn’t even dared having Jay’s phone number in my Contacts or even texted James ever let alone speak to him in proper conversation that was not about the school work I was doing for him . I wouldn’t have ever even wore make-up and straighten my hair. I wouldn’t have met so many people , made friends with so many, had great times and memories. I wouldn’t have ever watched Grey’s Anatomy. I wouldn’t have learnt how to text quickly, let alone text anyone. I wouldn’t speak on the phone for hours on end. We wouldn’t scream at eachother. I wouldn’t be where I am right now in this society if it wasn’t for her. I wouldn’t go to church frequently. And I guess I don’t want to go back to what it was before. What it was like without my Best Friend.

But I know one thing , if I have to . I will fight till I cant anymore to keep her. Thats a promise.

♥