.:Dreams and Swords:.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Sooooooo....mid-terms are lurking around the corner. Its hard to imagine I'm halfway through the semester already. Personally, I have a serious phobia about exams - mid-terms and finals the cream on the cake. It seems to me, no matter how hard you study, no matter how much you cram into your brain, you never can do as good as you imagine you can.

My biggest fight against the horrible anxiety is to not think about it until the morning before. It seems strange, but the more time I stress, the more information I forget. There's a perception/memory retrieval thing that doesn't occur properly if I do it the normal way. I'm guessing at this. Who really knows?

The motto "Out of Sight, Out of Mind." becomes mine during this process. I focus on completely random things: the way my books are stacked, practically sterilizing my room, cooking random things, etc. Right now I have the perfect thing to focus on: my NaNoWriMo project.

An interesting thing happened while I was waiting for my ride after my class this evening - more of my story came to me. I love it when the flow of information floods my brain like a dam breaking. I get to learn more about my protagonist, Margot. She's headstrong and contemplative girl who usually acts individualistically. Now she's being thrust into a situation that demands she think collectively, saving people who haven't always had her best interests at heart.

The more I analyze the notes and sketches, the more I see bits and pieces of my life between the lines. Some writers admit to this bias, others deny it. The fact of the matter is, unless you really know me, there is no way you can see what is real and what is fiction. Mostly, I see this rendering as a kind of cathartic release of emotions. Much cheaper than a shrink. (I should know, I'm going to become one. )

Whether I sink or fail will be interesting enough. I feel moderately prepared for my Cross-Cultural Psych exam and completely lost when it comes to International Relations. Surprisingly I'm not all that worried about it. Either way it'll all be over by Thursday at noon.

The good times just keep on coming.