Caught Between Heaven And Hell

Sunshine - Maria

I opened my eyes to see moonlight shining through the bars on the end of the truck. We had changed over to a truck again when we reached the station. I didn’t want to look around, just to have another reality check of what is happening. I rubbed my eyes and then felt a jump in the movement of the cart. It was stopping. I saw huge gates that reached high into the sky and had slight stings of barbed wire that I could see.
I knew this was where we were going. I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why. I just knew in the pit of my stomach we were going to be prisoners and that it was going to be a horror that I will never forget, even if I lived through it. The gates opened and the truck drove up the driveway. They bashed on the sides of the truck and shouted to get out. Just like the train change over.
I followed the mass of people. We towered out, finally free. I breathed in the fresh air and felt the harmonious feeling of freedom. But a smell was over-powering my lungs. It was horrible. But I did not care. I was just glad to be free.
The soldiers barked at us to move and we were forced to another room where we all stood, in a huge crowd. There was a doctor up the front that beckoned us and then pointed his finger to go left or right. I was ordered to go right.
As I waited, I saw a pair of young children twins being taken. Not to the other room, but away. They escorted them out, in a kind way. I was in a way, jealous. I knew they were going to a nicer place. I know I am in for a hard time. Those children haven’t even been forced at all.
I saw grandma and grandpa were on the left side, also. All the older people. I didn’t see any polite gestures there. I hoped that I saw them again. But really, nothing is certain at this time. Not for me, at least. And Mama and Mica too were on the left.
The right side was made to move on. They made us strip our clothes and made us give them our clothes. It was so cold, standing there naked as they told us not to put them on. To make it worse, we were forced to have a freezing cold shower, then they doused our heads with chemicals to kill lice. It was painful. The chemicals filled out lungs and I was punched for coughing.
After that, there was a long queue moving along into the other stages. I could see Papa. He was all the way back in the line. I had my older siblings by my side. They gave my brothers old sets of dirty clothes that were blue and white striped, I got a sack-like dress. Just as my sisters. They had a number on them and on my brothers, there was a star on the shoulder. We wore these and they gave my brothers caps with the same material.
Then we moved on and there were men and women being forced to have their heads shaved. As we moved further in the line, I was horrified. I touched my curled hair from two days ago when I last curled it. It was dark, very long. I knew it was about to go. I loved my hair. Doing it in the morning and taking care of it. I was just a teenager. Just like any other. Maybe even say that I was attached to it.
It was getting closer. The guard grabbed me and I stood in front of a him, with the clippers in his hand. I was too scared to say a word.
The guard chuckled. ‘Nice mop.’ He slurred. I lifted my head and the hair begun to fall. It was cut to boy-length. Then he shaved the remainder off. Leaving a bald head. My hair gone. Left lying on the floor beneath my feet.
Then we moved on where I had to lay my forearm on the table and there was incredibly painful needles going into my arm. It was a tattoo. With a number. The guard said I no longer had a name. All I am now, is the number on my arm.
Then they took us to barricades. They were ridden with lice, you could see the rats stalk the ground and crawl into the rotten straw that poked from the sides of the burlap. It stunk from meters away. It made me want to vomit.
They lead us through to a huge dirty slab area and barked at us not to talk, move or sit. Hundreds of people were already standing there. We lined up and more came. I couldn’t see the front. It was too crowded. A man fainted on the way out. I saw a few more fall during the time.
The guards came along and marked information. One of them passed by me and I put my head down, this thing was taking so long and dawn had just broken. The guard glared at me and walked up to my, now up right face. His nose was about a quarter of an inch from mine, he looked me in the eyes. I was not intimidated. He looked like a tool to me. I rolled my eyes. Stupid me.
He slammed me in the knees with his cane and I fell to the ground. Gasping in pain. Desperately trying to breath in my immense pain. My knees throbbed. My brother went to move and I gave him a look to stay still. He made sure the other kids did, too.
‘Shut up!’ The guard bellowed at my pain and grabbed my ear. He dragged me down the dirt for a moment and begun belting into me. There were people standing all around. He was hitting my face, my body, my legs. He didn’t stop. Finally he let go of me and walked on. I was left to get up, by myself. Nobody was able to help me. So I grabbed the ground and stood.
I lingered there in pain, unable to move. Unable to talk. I felt like bursting into tears. Breaking down and crying. But I couldn’t. I would endure even worse of what I just had. I gathered the strength to move over to my brothers and sisters. Then stopped.
When they finally let us go. We were then directed to go to a building, the guard gave us a small tin. That was a mess-tin. They ordered that if we didn’t have that at breakfast, no food. So we followed the line of people going to get some food.
I received a stale piece of bread. It was revolting. I went outside and the people slumped all around the dirt area around the huts. They were eating hurriedly fast. I went and sat behind a pile of ruble and threw the bread away. I wasn’t eating it. There was no way. Disgusting, old bread. No, thanks. My siblings were there with me. Felix went to throw his too, but I stopped him, re-thinking my own decision.
‘You might need your strength, little buddy. I half-smiled and watched him draw back. ‘Just eat what you can and sleep whenever you can.’ I couldn’t pretend to be glad.
‘Maria…’ Gabby tugged my sleeve. ‘I’m scared.’
‘We’re going to be okay.’ I reassured her and all the other kids.
‘I haven’t seen Mama or Papa since we come.’ She whimpered.
‘They’ll be okay. I promise they will. We’ll stick together.’ I am not a good liar.


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