Army of Humans and Monsters-The Book

Chapter 4

“I think we best get a shower and change our clothes,” Bloodtooth said, as she walked out of the mud, setting Jenkins down when it got shallow enough for him to walk. “After all, soldiers should appear, somewhat, presentable, especially for the commander of the base. Now that guy is a real hard-ass.”

“Um, could you get away with that if he heard you say that?” asked Jenkins.

“Hell, I could take a page from your speech and say the whole damn military could go to hell and I wouldn’t get punished for it,” Bloodtooth said, with a chuckle. “Hell, even a human like you would get away with it, if you felt it was true. In fact, you could say that I was a good for nothing, hot headed, goddamned bitch, and you would be fine, though I might feel offended by that. After all, you need to learn not to respond to those sorts of things.”

“How come I’d have to learn not to respond to that?” (Jenkins)

“Let’s just say that sometimes, while in peacekeeping operations, people will hurl worse things than insults about your family and garbage, though if they grab one of your squad mates, so that they can tear him to pieces and throw them at you, go and try to get him back, alive and in one piece as it were. Of course, a few of your other squad mates would help you out if that occurs.” (Bloodtooth)

“Has that ever happened to you?” (Jenkins)

“Well, while I wasn’t grabbed myself, a human under my command was, over in Transylvania. I had to bust a couple of vampires’ heads before they decided it was best to let him go. Thankfully, aside from a few scratches, bruises, and a broken nose, the kid was okay. Of course, the locals started calling me something that loosely translates into, ‘She who bloodies her claws for humans’, because I tore the head off of the vampire that had originally grabbed him, with my own two bare hands.” (Bloodtooth)

“Why did you do that?” (Jenkins)

“Simple, your squad mates are like your brothers and sisters, and they have to look out for one another. After all, didn’t you feel terrible when your sister was raped and murdered by the monster that did it?” (Bloodtooth)

“Yah, I wanted to kill him, but I never found him.” (Jenkins)

“Well, it would be the same thing for your squad mates. In fact, there is a standing rule that states, ‘No one, dead, alive, or otherwise, is to be left in the hands of the enemy.’ It would be your squad’s job to get you, or your corpse, and get you back to the base. If you are dead, the medics will try to revive you, which just so happens to have a seventy percent chance of bringing one back to full life, for humans anyways, especially if all of your organs are there.” (Bloodtooth)

“Well, what about the other thirty percent?” (Jenkins)

“Forty-nine percent chance that you end up a zombie, forty-nine percent you will turn out to be a vampire.” (Bloodtooth)

“Well, what about the remainder of that?” (Jenkins)

“Let’s just say that the demons in the military will not exorcise your spirit, as long as you still follow the rules of the military.” (Bloodtooth)

“So, in other words, I’d turn up completely dead, and not even become an undead person.” (Jenkins)

“Yah, that’s right.” (Bloodtooth)

“So, what would happen to my body if that happens?” (Jenkins)

“Well first of, you’d have a military funeral, with everyone in the barracks marching through town, with your squad mates carrying the casket containing your body, and then they would march back to the barracks, where one of three things will occur. The first option would be to burry your body on what we call ‘Hero’s Hill’, where no one would be allowed to disturb your body’s resting spot, on pain of being eaten by your squad mates. The second option would be to cremate you and scatter the ashes on the grounds.” (Bloodtooth)

“Well, what about the third option?” (Jenkins)

“Now that is something really special,” Bloodtooth said, with a smile. “If you gave them permission to do so, your squad mates are allowed to eat your remains. That way, in a sense, you would still be with them, long after your soul decides to cross over.”

“Why is that?” (Jenkins)

“It shows that you care about them, for who they are. Also, they are to eat your body with respect, especially if your spirit is there, watching them.” (Bloodtooth)

“So, if I end up dead, and come back as a spirit, what would I be able to do then?” (Jenkins)

“There are at least three things that you could do. The first is to help recruits get used to shooting live rounds at ‘live’ targets, as anyone can shoot a paper target, but things are different when the target is rushing at you and you have to shoot it before it reaches you. The second is to scout for your squad mates, and search for things like booby traps, ambushes, and see if an area is safe in general. The third and sometimes most risky job though, would be to spy upon the enemy, especially if they have a demon in their group.” (Bloodtooth)

“Aren’t demons generally only in Hell, and don’t they have a single ruler that they owe allegiance to?” (Jenkins)

“True, but as long as they obey the rules of Hell, and drag the occasional evil soul, or person, there to burn, they are free to do as they please. In fact, the chaplain on the base is a demon. It makes service interesting when you think about it, considering that the guy who is blessing your soul is someone who would ordinarily want to make it suffer in the eternal flames of Hell. Of course, mind you, don’t say the word ‘saint’ and his name in the same sentence, and especially don’t say ‘saint’ and follow it with his name. The guy nearly took the head off of a recruit that did that, a few years back mind you. Thankfully, the recruit was all right, but when the commander of the base asked why the chaplain reacted in such a manner, the guy said that the recruit was trying to kill him by saying ‘saint’ before he said his name. Well, the guy was right, because if you say ‘saint’ followed by the name of a demon, that demon will die, so it was considered an understandable action of self-defense. So, to make sure that that didn’t happen again, the chaplain was asked to use a nickname, so that he would be alright. He agreed, and let the commander say saint followed by the nickname, as a test. Well, he was alright, which means that the guy is still our chaplain.” (Bloodtooth)

Then, Bloodtooth lead Jenkins to a room and opened a closet.

“What size clothes and shoes do you wear?” she asked.

“Um, that would be an extra large shirt, 40by30 pants, and a size ten and a half E-wide shoes, all in human shape and form.” Jenkins said, as he looked into the closet, which was full of clothes that had a basic camouflage pattern.

“Would you like a pair of underwear and socks to go with that?” Bloodtooth asked, holding the articles of clothing that Jenkins had forgotten to mention, which were also in a camouflage pattern.

“Yes, I would, madam,” Jenkins said, a blush forming on his face.

At this, Bloodtooth started to cough, to cover for a fit of the giggles.

“That’s an understandable mistake that we all do, from time to time, myself included, especially during the first couple of weeks of training, especially in the presence of others, and especially when one, or more, of the others is of the opposite gender, especially when that person is your superior, like I am to you,” she said, getting the clothes that he had asked for, as well as those for herself.

“Now, I should warn you,” she said. “The showers are unisex, which means that soldiers of all sexes, male, female, hermaphroditic, or even those with absolutely no gender at all, can bathe in them. However, unless you give them permission to, they will keep to themselves, and won’t try to have sex with you, here or any other place. Of course, they may ask you to help them out, from time to time, with getting washed. If you accept, they may have you wash some more, intimate, parts of their bodies. However, unless you give them permission to, like I said before, they won’t try to do anything related to sexual behavior, though you may have to clean yourself off afterwards.”

“Well, in that case,” Jenkins said. “I hope that the ones that ask are female.”

“Let me guess, straight.” (Bloodtooth)

“Yah, I had a bad experience with a male teacher in high school.” (Jenkins)

“Was sexual education class going on during it?” (Bloodtooth)

“Yah, the teacher used me for demonstration purposes for males who like to, well, place it up someone’s ass, as it were.”

“Let me guess, the guy was a werewolf.” (Bloodtooth)

“Yah, I couldn’t sit for a week afterwards.” (Jenkins)

“Be lucky that you were not a were-creature who was placed under a curse that made you, well, human, when a female teacher shoved you up her vagina to demonstrate for those who wanted to do that option with someone.” (Bloodtooth)

“Did that happen to you?” (Jenkins)

“Yah, father nearly ate her when I told him what happened. Yet, just like what happened later, the person who did it was a dragon.” (Bloodtooth)

“Well, what about your father’s friend? You said that he was a dragon.” (Jenkins)

“Technically, he was a were-dragon, with a split-person disorder.” (Bloodtooth)

“Don’t you mean split-personality?” (Jenkins)


(The following is Bloodtooth speaking))
“No, I meant what I said, a split-person. The guy is basically two people in one, a human and a dragon. During the day, he is a human like you, but at night, he turns into a dragon. Thankfully, they share the same eyes, in which, if you are a friend to the human side, the dragon won’t harm you, too much. However, if you harm the human, you signed your death warrant, because the dragon will kill and eat you. Unfortunately, the dragon likes to have sex, a lot, and while I was with him, the dragon had sex with me, every other night. However, the human side was sorry about what the other did to me, and honestly tried to make up for it, like making me breakfast after those nights, and taking me out to places, so that I could relax, and temporarily forget about the previous night, though the dragon was nice enough to let me get some sleep every other night, as there were plenty of female soldiers that wanted to be in his bed, or, if they were quite large, wanted him in their bed. Now, while he had sex with me, he didn’t try to force me to, as long as I was up and walking around. But once I had sat down, or was laid out on the floor, so I could rest my legs, it was as if I had said, ‘Okay, you have my permission. You can have sex with me now.’ Although, there was something that set him apart from that one teacher of mine, he would be careful, and try to be gentle with me. Then again, with a beauty like mine, he would have looked like a fool, to not be gentle, otherwise.”

“So, do you hate him for what he did to you?” (Jenkins)


Once again, Bloodtooth)
“Well, he did save my life, so I can thank him for that, on two separate occasions. The first of course, was buying me from prison, while he was in his human form. The second time though, happened off base, shortly after I had passed basic training. I was at home, telling my family the news when it happened. Some friends of that dragon that I had killed tossed a fire bomb into the place, and set it ablaze. I managed to get my mother, father, and my step-sister, as mother and father had adopted a girl a year after I was born, out, when they stepped from the shadows, four large and powerful dragons. Well, my priority was to protect my family from further injury, so I tried to keep them from them. I had to fight those four dragons to protect the people that I cared about. My entire left arm was shattered, my right leg crushed, and my right arm was torn off. However, I fought on, hopping on one leg and snapping at them, as well as biting them. When they finally managed to pin me down, he showed up, in his entire draconic splendor, with the guys that had been chosen to be my squad mates, the guys that I had spent the most time with. Those guys fought and killed those four dragons, which were severally injured by the time that they showed up. Well, needless to say, the barracks had plenty of dragon stew for the next couple of days, quite tasty to, come to think of it.”

“So, here’s a question,” Jenkins said. “With all of those injuries, including you arm being ripped off, why does it look like that didn’t happen to you?”

“A very damn good medic-mage patched me right up,” Bloodtooth replied. “That guy could take someone, whose head had been severed from their body, get the parts back into position, and fully restore them to full life, without even a scar to be seen. A guy like that is very handy, especially in an area of combat, and that’s even better when there are, at least, two of them nearby. Of course, the one you may have with your squad may not be that skilled, but he, or she, will be able to keep you, and the others, alive until you are back at the base, where more skilled ones will take over from there. Now I will tell you, when it comes to the wounded, their word is law, and their rank is, in a sense, above the commander of the base in those matters. Also, they are the last guys that you want to mess with, because there is one spell that they can, and will use, if you try to harm their patients, de-heal, as I call it. Basically, every cut you ever got, every bone you ever broke, as well as every other injury, will all reoccur the moment that that spell is cast, which will leave the person, very dead. So, if you see one working on someone, as accidents do occur and the occasional recruit is killed during some mishap, do not bother them, unless you want to spend some time helping the medical instructor teach the potential medics. Knew a guy who spent more time as a corpse, or in pieces, than alive and intact, because he bumped into the chief medic on the base, when the medic was trying to pick up the pieces of another recruit, because the grenade that he was trying to throw got stuck to his hand, so he had to quickly get on the ground, with the grenade under his stomach, to protect the others from the shrapnel. Thankfully, they both turned out to be alright when it came time to graduate.”

“So, don’t mess with the medics.” (Jenkins)

“Yah, don’t mess with the medics.” (Bloodtooth)

With that, Bloodtooth opened the door to the showers and the pair entered.