PinkBubbles

So easy to walk those familiar paths of negativity

You know how your mother always used to tell you, 'If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all?' I need to start following that advice. It is sound advice. I find myself gossiping, or just saying negative things about- well- everything. Not that I am mean or hateful, just not positive. I need a device that gives me a little shock every time a negative thought or word forms . Forgives myself for being human and reminds myself to follow Mom's advice.

I am getting married tomorrow. It does not seem real. I have been with the man so long, I acted like we were man and wife. It is different to actually be his wife, legally. I Thought I thought of it as only a piece of paper, but the reality is setting in. It is more than a piece of paper. It is a Legal piece of documentation where I state I am part of a union. eeep! Now I feel bad that it is going to be so ordinary. I want to celebrate. I got something in the mail today where I could get an advance on my taxes. I wish they would have sent that a few days ago. I would like for Chad and I to be able to stay at a motel at least and have dinner out. We have been so turned upside down by recent events, we just have barely steadied ourselves, and now our marriage is here. I feel like it should be a big deal. Why did I say I did not want a big deal made. My sister does not even know! My mother does not know. No one knows except for a few choice people and whoever reads this blog. LOL How sad of me. I wonder if I should go to the tax place and get a loan. I would have time before the ceremony at 4pm. I feel ugly too. I do not want to get married without highlights and a fake tan. OMG! I am so petty. I just want to look beautiful. I fully expect that overnight a huge zit will form on my nose and he will be looking into my eyes tomorrow thinking 'ewww'. LOL I am actually nervous. I wonder...is he? *waits impatiently for him to get home*

My God! I am getting married!!!!!! wow!