PinkBubbles

Bittersweet

Chad and I had a simple ceremony. The pastor came over and we were witnessed by my daughter and his sister and niece. It was simple, but I still felt nervous and had a hard time repeating the vows as I committed myself to this man for life. It is not that I had any reservations, I did not. It is just such an act of permanence to me. I take marriage very seriously (this is being said by a woman on her third..but last marriage). I was just feeling the responsibility to this man that was now much more different than before. I have committed to live my life with him, regardless to what else happens. We are no longer singular. Everything that happens to one of us, happens to both of us as we are now one. That would be tested so soon after,,,, but first let me tell you (or perhaps tell me), of our night after, our celebration.

I found a quaint bed and breakfast out of town. It is a historical home built in the late 1800's. It is a wonderful Victorian home and had private rooms with private bathrooms. The bathroom in the room we stayed in had a huge whirlpool tub. Chad and I checked in and met the wonderful hosts. They recommended a wonderful steak restaurant and Chad and I went out foe dinner. We had drinks and prime rib for dinner. We rented a couple of movies and went back to our room. We had bought some bubble bath for the whirl-tub. chad was unsure if we should use it with the jets, but after getting back to the room and seeing that they had foaming milk bath, we were fine in adding bubbles to the water. Chad did not feel that the little bottle they provided would be enough, he added more from the lavender scented bubbles he purchased. I got in and was impressed by the wonderful suds that were building. I am a die-hard bubble bath fan and was already sitting in the tub as he got ready. He was shocked when he came in and saw the bubbles. I was having fun luxuriating in the foam as he stepped into the tub. He turned on the jets and then...LMBO!!!! The bubbles were stiff and plentiful, too, too plentiful. he jumped out of the tub to grab the camera and he left a trail of bubbles (I would get out later and have to dry and scrub the stiff trail off the carpet). We took the pictures and spent some time drinking champagne and enjoying the jets which had to be turned off every once in a while to not overflow the bubbles. When I stood up, I could not get the bubbles off me. I was literally covered with them. I wore this coat of white...all soap. It got to be too much. Chad let out the water and we showered off the bubbles, laughing and hoping we did not ruin the jets on the tub. (we did not, btw, he took a bath the next morning and it was great without the bubbles)

We spent the night relaxing and umm...well enjoying each others company. We awoke in the morning to breakfast by fireside. The hosts set up an intimate area in the living room for just us. The food was great. We were handed a gift. It was a book with all the B&B's in the country. We have decided every year for our anniversary we will visit a new one. We also bought a commemorative mug. LOL..great addition to my teacup collection. I will have to find special places for our memorabilia.

When we came home, my daughter informed me the night before she found out that her two best friends had gotten drunk and stupid. Her best friend, the one with a pin that stays 'one year sobriety' got so s***-faced she started taking off her clothes. Kat told me that she is trying really hard to start her life over, and it is too hard in this small of a town. She does not want to leave me or her school, or even her drunk friends, but she needs to think about herself. She can not escape what she was here. Everyone here knows she almost died this year, that she used to use marijuana and they are not soon to let her forget. She will be staying in California when we go back. Her reasoning makes sense to me, otherwise I would not let her go. she wants to have a larger family around and she wants to be a stranger of sorts. She expects to go back, go to school, get a job and her drivers license. This was a test of my new marriage. Normally, I would go with her and not consider Chad, he would follow me or not. I promised to walk beside this man not lead....

Katelyn is 16. She will be an 'adult' soon. I am afraid as some of her friends there are just the biggest 'disappointments' imaginable. I am afraid because her father does not know how to effectively parent, he is just plain mean at times and never consistent. I am afraid he will forget that his daughter was in the ICU this year and almost died because she decided she did not want to live this 'hard' life. I am afraid...

I have told Katelyn that I support her. Chad and I will move to the city in which he works. I was staying in this small town for Katelyn. I will be able to get a good job in the city doing what I do. I have told her, in one heartbeat, if she wants to return she is always welcome. her sister is there in California and won't be moving here for another couple of years, so Katelyn will have Heather to talk to.

Like I said....Bittersweet

I feel like I gained and lost this weekend.

It will be okay.....

A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble.