Down the Rabbit Hole

Early Arrival

Today I received a text message from my husband's sister relaying the news that our niece is headed to the hospital to have her baby boy today. He is about little less than a month early. The dropping fluid levels have prompted the doctor's to take him ahead of schedule. I'm sure she will be thrilled to have her baby boy before Christmas. I took a moment from my day to pray for her and her baby's safety. She was only about two week ahead of my own due date and this sudden arrival really makes me wonder if our daughter will also come to us a little sooner than expected. Jaden Melanie has been in near constant motion the last two days...kicking and moving. I can even feel her fast heartbeat at times beneath the palm of my hand. Work has been keeping me in nearly constant motion myself these days and the boom in activity is a blessing both for our financial security as well as keeping my distracted from my growing anxiety about Jaden's impending delivery. In my quiet moments I am often plagued by fears of my physical limitations and daymares of things going wrong somehow. I have had such an uneventful pregnancy that I fear the dropping of the other shoe. I have no real reason to fear the end of my pregnancy should be mared by complications yet these thoughts assault me at times. It can be overwhelming. Still, I tell myself she is strong, I can feel that for myself. I tell myself that I am healthy as evidenced by my controlled weight gain and my good test results and blood work, my lack of swelling or constipation or a dozen other ailments some women can experience. I know this baby has made me healthier and stronger in so many ways. In these last few weeks, she has become a real part of my family. Over the weekend, at a dinner party for my mom, Jaden began kicking me. I quickly took my grandmother's hand and placed it against the spot on my belly where I felt her moving. Within a few seconds, everyone was crowding me, reaching to make contact with my daughter. Eager and happy fingertips roamed all over my swollen belly. My young niece Kyra managed to slip in close but the moment had passed. "Talk to her Kyra", I encouraged. "She can hear you." My niece leaned in closer over my belly button and shyly said, "Hi baby Jaden. It's Kyra." It was a sweet space in time and one I would like to remember.
For now, we wait for the news and delight in the early christmas present of our niece's baby boy's arrival. Soon enough, Jaden will be here with us all too.