Hope Burning

Chapter Six:

As she closed the door behind her she let out a rush of air and leaned back against her front door. What did I just do? What did I get myself into here. I cant possibly go out to dinner with him. Besides the fact that I have made a complete and total fool of myself and he should probably be thinking about calling a psychiatrist instead of taking me to dinner.

         She slid to the floor slowly while trying to conquer the panic attack that was building in her. Breathe! That’s right. In and out slowly and count to ten. Concentrate and calm down.

         “Well this is silly. I have better things to do than sit here having a breakdown!” furious with herself it came out a little harsher than she had intended and Sasha stopped cleaning herself and looked up surprised at Jessica.

         “No I am not mad at you baby. I am just an idiot.” Sighing as she stood and walked to her bedroom she had managed to control her breathing and ward of the panic attack.

         “Let’s see how bad this is.” She muttered to herself as she walked stiffly into her bathroom. Sasha padded in behind her and took her usual spot in the corner with a view of the whole room.
         
         Jessica reached up to the medicine cabinet and grabbed some Tylenol. As she was just downing a couple she caught her reflection in the mirror and gasped. Oh great! I look like a reject from a bad zombie movie. I must have made a wonderful impression on Mark looking like this.

         She looked away and immediately picked up her hair brush knowing she was going to have to take another shower today.

         Seeing Sasha sitting calmly in the corner watching her she sneered at the smug cat. “Yeah yeah. Go on. Stare all you like.” She continued to grumble at the cat as she finished washing and cleaning up.

         Walking back into her bedroom she saw the time was just after two in the afternoon. “Come on Sasha lets get a snack so we don’t look like a pig at dinner. We do have a reputation to maintain.” Her tinkling laugh floated around her as she trooped with her small grey companion to the kitchen. She felt unusually buoyant as she went about the rest of her day.

         After feeding the cat and herself it was time to pick out an outfit to wear to dinner. This is going to be hard! Most of my clothes for going out are from before the accident. Mostly backless or at least exposing far too much flesh! “Nothing to be done for it Sash. Well just have to find something that will work.”

         After spending two hours rummaging through her wardrobe she had  picked then discarded most of her options. She had finally narrowed it down to two options.
         
         The black shift was her favorite but it left some of the scars exposed even with her hair down to help conceal the ones on her neck. She found a wrap in the back of the closet that would cover everything the dress missed nicely but didn‘t quite go as well as she would have liked.

         The other option was a sheer peach affair with a satin inner lining that more than covered everything but was much too sexy and would give the wrong impression which she desperately did not want to do.
         
         “What do you think Sash?” She said aloud holding the two dresses before her in front of the mirror. She looked at the cat watching her from her perch on the bed. Sasha stretched and meowed then curled up to go to sleep. Obviously disinterested in human wardrobe concerns.

         “Yeah you’re a great help.” Jessica debated for another moment then shrugged and put the peach gown back in the closet and put the black dress and wrap on the hook in front of the door.

         “Ok. Black it is!” The decision made she felt better.

         And I have time left over to go the workshop! Jessica thought happily as she saw it was only 4:30. She headed outside to a small garage behind the house that she’d had built for her wood working shop.

         As always when she walked in the door to her small wood shop she reveled in the smell of wood and sawdust. Taking a deep breathe and sighing, she savored the peace that always came over here in this place.

         Catching sight of the new piece of cocobolo wood she bought from Cal she smiled and picked it up. While caressing the fine grain and appreciating the deep color and smooth texture of this rare beautiful piece of wood she thought about what she had planned for it.
         
         A sudden idea interrupted her  thoughts and she became excited. Now she knew what she wanted to do for Mark since the pie turned out to be a bust. She grimaced at the thought of the incident earlier. She shrugged still smiling pleased with her decision and went about getting it ready.