PinkBubbles

up, then down-- in, then out. I have lost my pink I think!

I am really irked and hurt. I do not get how one person can, on a website, taint others views on a person. I am dismissed from a group and then invited back and then the next day removed again and told 'it was too soon'- too soon for who or what? I had not even stepped foot in the forum to do a review...(oh I did order some packages, bad me!) and the person running the group, when SHE invited me back in, said I did a good job when I belonged before. Can we say, huh? I have not ever done anything to make people on this site dislike me (at least not that I know of). I hear whispers that people do not like me but the reasons why are always very 'mysterious' and unknown 'exactly' to messenger who feels it is okay to share with me that others have a dislike for me. I am just 'doing my own thing' and some people (really just a couple...and one lately) seem to take issue or think that I have some ulterior motive. Again, huh? What would that motive be? To be yellow? I am (and yes, I was honored) but I still want to do the same things, the same way I have done before turning yellow. Yellow was an honor but I am not different nor more important now then when I was a new member. I find it disturbing that some seem to think they run the site and in the politics of it all, they kind of do. I have been told by a couple people not to cross certain people on this site. Seriously? Is it the WDC mafia? If you cross ONE of the gang, you are dead? Bang, Bang!

I have not intentionally hurt anyone. However, I have found my own feelings hurt a couple of times now as I am tossed out of a group based upon what I believe is one or two people spreading rumors or sharing 'their feelings' with others.....what about, who knows. What disturbs me the most is people I have had tremendous relationships with (as far as I knew) suddenly turned odd behaving. Like I said, I was demoted in a group as these two people who 'had issue' with me where promoted and added to the group that same day right before my letter informing me that the leader had been sworn to secrecy but had been informed some insider information. Does everyone talk about everyone? I know not everyone does, perhaps I am just 'hanging' in the wrong crowd...lol, much like high school.

My experience with WDC has been awesomely positive to this point- this point being when a disturbed and jealous woman decided she did not like me....I have suspicions about why EXACTLY after talking to some others, but that does not make it any more comfortable, especially since she was not only amazingly fake to me before I called her out in email (bad me for sticking up for myself) but also she is amazing good at twisting others to believe I am the one STARTING drama. I guess, in a way, me writing in my blog is creating drama. Well...my opinion.? It is my blog, if you do not like it, navigate away from the page. I have not mentioned names nor will I. I am venting. A couple people do not make the site, ALL the members do. I do not care if I am well known, but I do care that anyone I come in contact with leaves with a more positive attitude (if I can swing it) or feeling appreciated or loved. I do not do try and spread negativity and if I do not care for a person I steer clear of them, I do not tell me friend not to like them nor to I feel I need to 'enlighten' them.

This is sad and sick. Right before the holidays and right after I signed my daughter up for this site. I will not have her exposed to reliving high school all over again. What is funny is I was well liked in high school or maybe it was I did not care what people thought of me. When did I start caring?

Okay, I almost wish this could be private, but it is not. It is a venting post....I figure I need to vent where I feel I might be heard if not validated in my disappointment. I am seriously considering leaving WDC and that makes me sad. They will have won-- But as soon as I leave there will be another who is not liked by one 'important' person or by one person who is 'best friends' with the 'important' person and the drama begins again. I do feel good knowing that all will eventually be exposed. One of the people who is having issues with me has had issues with others and for some really disturbing reasons.....

blah.....I am spent. *off to put my block list back to use* something I thought I was above (blocking people) seems to be a much needed feature.

Note: so I have just been accused of worrying only about status. This is too funny. I like to 'do things' and 'help people'. I do not have a long list of what leader I am for what group on my signature and reviews. I had a group siggy at one time. I have been told by someone I thought was a friend that perhaps it was best to cut down on some of my groups. Why? "Because people might take it wrong." When I join a group, I do it because I think it is a good group. I may have over extended myself at times but even though I review for three different review groups, I have never used a blanket siggy and counted one review as many on different groups. I feel this is unfair to the person who purchased the reviews. If you expect 15 reviews when you have bought reviews from 2 different groups, it is unfair to get 3 reviews from the same person who then counts them as filled on each review board. I put in effort to all my groups... I am soooo Type A personality and love staying busy and love being creative. WDC is my creative outlet....Status...what the heck is that? I am not any better than a member who just joined today and this goes the same way...you are not better than me because you are a mod or you have been here longer....we are all writers, we are all humans. I do like to make goals and one was to be number ! on the review board. I was not doing it for status but to see if I could and was proud when I did, without cheating, without pushing anyone aside. I have been awarded trophies for reviewing and, no I am not the best reviewer...but do we not all have something to offer? Why so much judgment? I must say...I am not sin free....
I am still learning, hence the blog. Ha! I do like getting MB's. I do like seeing my little number go up but I love the circular little buttons with images on them more than any number. There will always be someone with a higher number, so why the race? I have no one I am racing against but myself. I am so confused and hurt by statement made to me and about me....


I am clean. I do not feel guilt for one dang thing I have done on this site. But I am unhappy here now. My pink bubble has burst. LOL how pathetic!


A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble.