Decision

Decision

         She was nervous and jittery as she opened the door to the professor’s hallway. The girl was of medium height and weight, with hair a golden brown and bright green eyes. The look on her face was that of determination and apprehensiveness. She strode down the hall to a closed door. The door’s name etched ‘Dr. P. F. Stone Ph. D’. She inhaled deep then knocked. No one answered. She tried the handle to see if it was open, it wasn’t. She then proceeded to rummage through her canvas bag, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen.


         The girl scribbled: "I have a question for you. Maybe I will catch you later. - G" Then folded it and slid the paper under the door. Her face cringed at another look at the door. She abruptly left the hallway, proceeding down the stairs into a mass of people.





         “How you feelin’ baby?” a very handsome gentleman probed strolling up from behind.


         


         “Don’t call me that.” she retorted sharply. “I’m aggravated and tired. I keep missing him at his office.”





         “Grace, you don’t have to tell him in his office.” stated the blond guy.





         “Yes I do! This isn’t something you tell someone in the middle of a crowded cafeteria.” Grace explained.





         “I know, but... You gotta tell him soon.”





         “Aaron, I will... I am today.” She said trying to convince herself of that.





         He grasped her waist pulling her into him then kissed her sweetly.





         Tears came to her eyes, “It has to be today."





         Grace paced outside of room six of the Humanities building. Once the door swung open pupils fleeted. She propped herself against the wall to appear nonchalant, but mainly to keep her body in a vertical position. Eventually the last of the students deserted, a tall black haired man left the classroom as well. Upon closing the door he jumped at the sight of the once playful girl.





         “Grace.?” He stated then questioned his former student.


         


         “Professor Stone we have to talk.” she stated clear as day in case anyone was listening.





         “I saw the note. Let’s go to my office.”





         The pair traveled to the next building. He unlocked the door which pained her earlier.





         She sat across from him and smiled. “So, how have you been?” she asked avoiding the real subject.


         


         He raised one eyebrow, “Grace, ...I ...We can’t do that anymore.”





         “I know. That’s not why I am here, kinda?” she whispered the last word.





         “Gracie, what can I do for you?”





         “Answer my question.”





         “Okay, shoot.”





         “Uh... I know you are divorced and you don’t have any children, and I was wondering if you would like to be a father.”





         An incomprehensible look attacked his face.





         “Patrick, I’m pregnant.”





         He froze then changed, “Congratulations to you and your boyfriend, uh...”





         “Aaron? It’s not his. We haven’t slept together yet. This baby is definitely yours.”





         “But I thought we were careful.”





         “Careful isn’t 100%.”





         The professor sat there in a trance soaking up everything his former lover said.





         “Oh about Aaron, he knows about everything. He understands and won’t say anything. He’s being really supportive about the whole pregnancy thing...” Grace drew a breath in “and I need to know if I should end it. I am pro-choice. Right now I cannot raise a child. I’m leaving this small town for bigger things and I can’t have a kid and live that way. So I got to thinking ‘What about Patrick? How would he feel? Does he want this child?’”





         Stupefied still, Patrick examined the walls of his office.





         “In the four months I got to know you. I mean really know you. Your life is filled with friends and family and you love your job. But you’re missing something. I think I can give you that something, ...a child. You would be an awesome father. You just have to decide if you want it now.”





         He sat there and contemplated this semi-bizarre question. “Let me get this straight, if I say ‘no’ then...?”





         She fluttered her eyes and bit her lip, “Abort.”





         Grace was almost always honest at least once she got over her fears. That’s one of the things that attracted Patrick to her in the first place. In the beginning she was too scared to react to any feelings between them, but soon enough the fear was fleeting and fueling the attraction.





         “If I say ‘yes’?”





         “You become a proud father.” She smiled at this.





         “And you would be...?” He wondered still curious to the fine print of this situation.





         “Nothing, just a surrogate mother.” She stared at his face. “Once the baby is born you can tell people and it whatever you want. I just need to know your answer.”





         “You’re actually giving me a choice?...”





        She answered his rhetorical question, “Yes, everyone should choose some parts of their destinies.”





         “I have to think about this, Grace.”





         “Good, I know. Call me when you’ve decided.” she grabbed her bag and left him to think.








         Three days can seem like years when you are waiting on an answer with a deadline on its way even faster. He asked to meet her at a coffee shop in person for the answer she had been longing for. The former couple sat at a tiny table in the back, facing each other. She waited until he got situated before she grew even more anxious. Both were somber not revealing any feelings beforehand.





         Grace finally broke the silence, “So, Patrick, are you going to be a father?”





         A straight faced Patrick answered, “Yes.”





         Her eyes grew wide, “Really?” Disbelieving what she just heard.





         “Yeah.” simultaneously shaking his head and smiling.





         Her smile now matched her eyes, “Congratulations in seven months you’re going to be a daddy.” She got up and hugged him. “Now you have to start planning.”





         “What about your school plans?”





         “Simple, in August I will move up to Jacksonville with Aaron as planned. Go to school and hopefully finish the semester before the baby comes in December.”





         “You’re still going to move now?”





         “Yeah, I have to, scholarship.”





         “So how exactly is this going to work?” he questioned her once again confused.





         “Well you can go to doctor appointments with me down here until August, unless you want to drive up there for them too. I figured after finals I would come back here and wait for the baby to come. Then I would go back to my home.”





         “What if it comes early?” He stated displaying the flaw in the plan.





         “It won’t, think positively.”





         The rest of the details would be hammered out without the use of a lawyer.








         The first doctor appointment was a week later. Patrick escorted Grace to the appointment; he was a cool kind of nervous. The other women sitting in the waiting room were staring in envy and astonishment. There was only one other male in the room.





         For Patrick, during the sonogram, the reality of becoming a father completely sank in when the heart beat boomed over the machine. His faced was enveloped with surprise, nerves, and love all rolled into one. This reaction only reinforced Grace’s decision even more; she knew he would be a good father.








         Over the summer no one else found out. By August she was showing but only Aaron and Patrick had seen it. Grace covered it up as much as possible. She rarely got to see her friends because of work and her family members were always working when she was off. So no one caught on, even through all the weird cravings. They shrugged it off as normal Gracie’s weirdness.








         On the last appointment before the move Grace asked Patrick, “Do you want to know the sex of the baby?” Without giving him a chance to respond she said, “I do.”


He debated about it then declared, “No.” He wanted to be surprised.





         “You don’t mind if I know do you? I won’t tell you …unless you ask.” She smiled.





         “You can know, but I won’t ask. I want to be surprised like in the good old days.”





         She laughed, “I can see you as one of those fathers pacing in the waiting room with a cigar handy.”





         “Smoking is bad for you” he commented.





         “It’d be the bubble gum kind.”





         He smirked and laughed out of his nose.





         “Grace Davies.” A nursed called out from the door.





         The couple rose and followed her back.








         “So I am going to be in the room with you when it’s time or …?” Patrick asked as he took a bite from a sandwich after the appointment.





         “Well that’s your decision I mean it is your baby. It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked. You do remember how we got in this situation?”





         “Yes I do remember.” He smiled blissfully at the memories.





         Sipping from her drink Grace asked, “So are you?”





         “I have to think about it.”








         Grace and Aaron moved to Jacksonville without a hitch. They were neighbors, each with their own roommate in a dorm style apartment building off campus. Grace and Aaron easily made friends and told them about the pregnancy. They told the group that she was a volunteer surrogate for a good friend and former professor. They all embraced her courage to do that. Over the months as Grace grew into what she called a planet they watched over her. They kept her under surveillance about what she ate, the activities she did, and just in general. It wasn’t like a prison guard more like a bunch of young worried parents looking after their child. Each week Aaron traced how big Grace’s belly got on the wall. Grace was keeping track as part of a gift for Patrick.





         Classes were a bit harder than normal because of the pregnancy but Grace got through it. When it was time for finals some teachers were afraid of her going into labor because of the stress, so they let her take the exams early.





         The night before she was to go home, to wait around for the big event, everyone from the apartment threw her a baby shower. They knew that Patrick would need anything and everything that a baby needs. Diapers, ones-seys, bottles, and blankets were among the treasures. Some went so far as to give both a gift for the baby and for Grace. Vodka, condoms, chocolate, and a sexy top were the gems that Grace received. All participants, girls and guys, played games, some traditional some reinvented to include alcohol for those who were able.





         The next day was time to go home, well not home but to Patrick’s. Even though she could’ve told her friends and family she didn’t. Her plan was to stay with Patrick until the baby came, saying she was working and couldn’t come home. She would see them, after the baby was born, for Christmas. The car was filled to the brim with the gifts and the stuff she needed before and after the birth. Aaron kissed her farewell, he still had exams, and waved goodbye, he would join her soon enough.








         DING DONG.





         Patrick opened the door, his mouth dropped and eyes grew. “I didn’t think you were this big.”





         Grace laughed, “I know, I’m a planet.” She hugged him, “It’s good to see you.”





         “Come on in,” he said gesturing towards the living room.





         “Actually I have a surprise for you. It’s out in the car. Plus I need help bringing my bags in.” She admitted.





         “What surprise?” he asked while she waddled back to the car.





         “Well this wasn’t my idea…my friends up there threw the baby a shower. Everything is gender neutral because I didn’t tell them that I knew what baby is, except Sam and Em bought a baseball outfit for a boy and a frilly pink dress if it’s a girl. There are diapers, blankets, toys, almost everything you need.”





         He peered into the window astonished. “Your friends did all of this?”





         She smiled and nodded her head yes.





         They unloaded the car placing everything in the nursery which was decorated in a magical forest scene.





         “So, you still don’t want to know what you are having?” Grace teased.





         “Ha ha no.”





         She smirked, “This room is beautiful for a girl or boy.”





         “Thanks.”





         “So where can I put this?” Grace asked referring to her bag.





         “Oh,” he grabbed the bag from her, “right next door.” Leading her to the guest room.





         “Thank you for letting me stay here. I just couldn’t tell them I was pregnant, even if it was being a surrogate.”





         “Why not?” he wondered placing the bag on the bed.





         “I really don’t know… They would just worry about me and that’s not necessary. But now it’s too late to tell them.” Grace tried to change the subject, “Do you still have classes?”





         “Yeah I have two classes that need exams and 150 papers to grade.”





         “Fun, fun hey Christmas break is something to look forward to, besides the whole becoming a daddy thing.”





         “Yeah I know. …How was the trip down here?”





         “It was fine. Uh, oh got to pee.”








         Later Patrick made dinner for the two of them. “How was school?” he asked as he placed it on the table.





         “Good, my pictures won second in a show. The painting I entered won the ‘Viewer’s WTF, but I like it’ award.”





         “That’s an award?”





         “Yeah the art class came up with the viewer’s awards.” Grace took a bite from the noodles. “Wow I didn’t realize how much I missed your cooking.”





         “Thanks. As I recall you weren’t so bad yourself.”





         “Yeah, I haven’t been able to do that much lately. So have you picked out any names yet?”





         “Sort of, Richard for a boy, after my dad, and the girl name is what is killing me. I’ve looked at thousands of names and none seem right.” Patrick seemed defeated.





         “There has to be some that you like.”





         “I like Ann, or Marigold.”





         “How the hell do you go from Ann to Marigold?” Grace really wanted to know.





         He just shook his head.





         “Why those two?” she questioned.





         “I really like Marigolds, and Ann is a proper name.”





         “If it’s a girl, which I am not telling you either way, she wouldn’t want any of those names. I’m sorry.” Grace smiled and laughed.





         “What’s your suggestion then?” he continued the playful banter.





         Grace stopped chewing the food in her mouth and looked at him. Her face showed the first signs that she was scared of the whole process. “You really want to know my opinion?”





         He read past the surrogate mother act to the scared young woman. “If you want to.” He was careful.





         “Well for a boy I like Mark but using your father’s name is totally understandable. For a girl I would choose something beautiful and rare. I don’t know maybe you won’t know the right name until you meet them.”





         “True.”





         “Hey what are you doing tonight?” Grace cheered back up instantly.





         He smiled, “Grading papers.”





         “Oh, right.” She bit her lip at the lapse in memory.





         “You know you can do whatever you want. Make yourself at home.”





         “Thanks, I will. I think I will watch a movie.” She stated putting the last bite of food in mouth.





         “Oh there’s a ton of movies in the living room.”





         “Thanks but I’m in the mood for one of my favorites, Sabrina."





“Sabrina?” he looked confused.





         “It’s an old movie. It’s got Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart in it. You probably have seen it but don’t even know it.”








         As the opening credits rolled, Graced was laying on the couch. Patrick was in his office area about to grade papers.





         “Ahh! Owww!” Grace groaned.





         Patrick came rushing in, “What’s wrong?”





         “Kicking, bad, come feel this.” She commanded.





         He followed. Apprehensively he put his hand toward her stomach.





         She grabbed it quickly placing it where the baby was doing all the kicking. “Your baby is really strong. You know this only happens when I do something I really like.”


To her stomach she questioned, “Do you like making my favorite things uncomfortable?”





         When the baby stopped kicking Grace still held his hand to her stomach, “Can I have my hand back?” requested Patrick.





         Grace realized she still had control over it then released it, “Oh, sorry.”





         He returned to his desk to begin his work, but instead he brought the papers in the living room. He sat on the floor propped up by the couch where Grace’s feet laid.





         “I thought you were grading papers?” Grace interrogated.





         “I can multi-task; I’ve had years of practice.”





         She just smiled to his answer and directed her attention to the movie. Sabrina was in the tree watching the Larrabee’s party…








         Out of nowhere Patrick questioned, “You and Aaron still together?”





         “Yes. I thought you knew that.” She answered slowly.





         “Oh I was just making sure.” Patrick explained but did not really. “He can’t end up with her.” He commented to the movie. 





         “Patrick, since when are you this much of a romantic?” Grace asked genuinely surprised by his comment.





         He just sat there starring at the movie. He could feel her eyes on him waiting for a reply.





         “That wasn’t a rhetorical question.” Grace responded to the silence.





         He attempted to change the subject, “You know I have seen this movie, I just can’t remember the end of it.”





         Her eyes smiled at his attempted subject change but she said nothing.





         The end came and went.





         “I really liked Sabrina.” Patrick announced.





         “Owww! I couldn’t tell.” Sarcastic pain spoke.





         “Still kicking?” he asked concerned.





         “Just started again, when you said Sabrina,” Grace explained.





         His face mirrored a cartoon with a light bulb turning on in his head, “Sabrina?”





         The kicking began again; Grace cringed and lifted up her shirt, the feet where visible against the stretched skin.





         “Look at that.” Patrick was mesmerized.





         “Can you get my camera?”





         He looked at her questioning, “Can you even see to take a picture?”





         Grace pouted her lips then responded, “Um, no but who says I’m taking the picture? Can you please just get it. It’s laying on the bed.”





         He returned with camera in hand ready to give to her. “I don’t know how to work this thing. Too many buttons, you need a simple camera where you press a button and a picture gets taken.”





         She laughed at this, “Yeah then I wouldn’t be able to get half of the crazy shots I have gotten.” She adjusted the aperture and shutter speed for the lighting, “Now all you have to do is focus the lens, by lining up the two black lines and press that button. Is that hard?”





         “Hey you can have two PhDs and not know how to program electronics.”





         Grace laughed again, “I totally agree with you. Even though you are the only one I know.”





         He smirked as he put the camera up to his face to start the focusing process. “Okay, I’m focused but there are no feet to take a picture of.”





         “Say the name.”





         “What name?” he forgot.





         “Sabrina.”





         “But you just did, I see nothing.”





         “It only kicks when you say it, I think anyway. So far that is how it works.” Grace explained.





         He doubted this very much but decided to test the theory anyway. Apprehensively he stated, “Sabrina.”





         Grace responded with the same cringe as before. The baby responded by showing off its feet. Patrick started to click the button taking multiple pictures on accident.





         “Wow! It worked.”





         “That’s what I thought. What about that for a girl name?”





         He smiled, “Actually that’s what I was thinking before.”





         “Okay great now please refrain from saying it.” Grace said with a forced smile because of the pain.





         Patrick laughed and agreed, “Okay. I think I took more than one picture.”





         “That’s okay I’ll develop those tomorr…oh crap I can’t. I’ll have Aaron help me when he comes down.”





         “Why can’t you?”





         “There’s one part of the process that’s not necessarily good for pregnancy.”





         “Yeah we will definitely let him do it.”





         A yawn came out of her, “I’m gonna go to bed now. That drive took a lot out of me.”





         “Okay, call if you need anything, Good Night.”





         “Good Night.” Grace stated as she began her ascent up the stairs. She found herself walking into the master bedroom out of an old habit but corrected herself and turned to the guest room.








         It had been a week and a few days of the two cohabitating under the same roof. Once he finished this semester completely he was at the house more often. They had spent days with each other before but she always slept in his bed and that’s where they would stay for most of the time. These days consisted of other things, stay in and watching movies, planning Christmas and gifts, and basically just wasting time until the baby was ready to come. Patrick was doing last minute things to make sure he and the house were ready for baby. Grace took the isolated time to paint and design her next project. Her favorite thing to do was take pictures of him doing his chores and completing the nursery. At night they would talk about anything and be laughing at everything the whole night through.





         The pair had gotten used to each other’s presence faster than what normal would be. There was still something left over from the first time they had spent time in that house that aided the process. 





         Aaron came down after Grace had been there a week but he could not see her every minute of the day. His family expected to see him and he worked at the mall during the holidays for extra cash and to have something to do, that was his tradition. Grace really did not mind, after awhile he was getting on her nerves, they both knew it was just from the pregnancy so he came and went as she needed or wanted him around. The one time she was counting on him to be there for her was after. He had to be the one she could count on to take care of her until she could go home.





         It was close to the two week mark when the doorbell rang. Grace was downstairs painting the view outside the kitchen window. Patrick was upstairs drilling something with the curtains. Grace put down her brush wiping her hands and went to the door. She opened it without even looking through the peephole. “Hi.” Grace smiled.





         Confusion splattered the gentleman’s face, “Hi, uh, is Patrick here?”





         “Yea, he’s upstairs.” At that moment it popped into Grace’s head who this was, Patrick’s younger brother Colin. She had never met him before but she had seen pictures. Colin had a very unique scar over his left eye, something that resulted from two young boys playing. “Come on in, I’ll go get him.”





         She raced up the stairs faster than she had since she got there due to her ever changing body. She wasn’t growing anymore just in neutral waiting for something to happen which after a day or so can be very uncomfortable. “Patrick, Colin’s downstairs.”





         He stopped what he was doing, “My brother?”





         “I’m pretty sure it’s him. Tall guy, black hair, scar over his eye.” Grace described Colin to a tee.





         “Did you introduce yourself?”





         “No he just asked if you were here and I said I would go get you.”





         The pair started down the stairs together but Patrick beat Grace by a mile. She had to slow down.





         “Colin hey,” the brothers hugged, “What brings you around here?”





         “Just wanted to stop by, I got some time to kill and Mom wanted me to ask you what you are bringing to Christmas dinner.”





         Grace slipped by them to go back to her painting in the kitchen, in her head was ‘a baby’ to answer Colin’s question.





         Colin stared at the overly pregnant woman; Patrick noticed then remembered his manners.





         “Oh Colin, this is Grace. Grace this is my brother Colin.”





         Colin got up to shake her hand before she picked the brush up again, “Nice to meet you.”





         Grace smiled her smile, “Nice to meet you too.”





         “How far along are you?” Colin inquired.





         “I’m done, due date was yesterday, I’m just waiting until it’s time.”





         “Yea, I hope you’re that lucky my wife was a week late with our last one.”





         “Oh don’t say that. Right now I just want to jump out of my skin. The only thing keeping my mind off of it is the painting.” Grace was waiting for the next questions, ‘where’s the father?, why are you here?, how do you know Patrick?, … But she didn’t know how to answer these questions. Patrick never told her the story of what he told his family.





         “Are you ready for the baby to come?”





         Grace paused thinking for a second but then reverted back to her state of mind in Jacksonville, “Actually it’s not mine. I’m just a surrogate.”





         “Really? Wow that’s got to take a lot of courage.”





         She smirked, “I guess so. I just think of it as giving a really special gift.”





         Colin smiled, “So where are the parents?”





         Grace truly didn’t know what to do, she just sat there.





         Patrick raised his hand, “I’m right here.”





         Colin looked at him like he had gone crazy. “It’s your baby? With who?”





         Patrick just shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, never met her.” He lied.





         “You are having a baby?” Colin reiterated.





         Grace came back to animation, “You haven’t told your family?” her faced was now surprised as Colin’s was. “Patrick! They should be there with you when it’s born. And you’re going to need help bringing it home.” She almost slipped as to what the baby was. “What was I thinking agreeing to this?” Grace got off her stool and waddled to the back door, slamming it behind her. She went and sat in a lawn chair contemplating what Patrick had done or hadn’t done yet.





         The brothers continued their conversation with Colin still asking all the questions and Patrick answering them.





         Thirty minutes later Patrick had told Colin his story. He explained how he felt ready to have a kid and how he did not want to wait for the long process of adoption. So Grace volunteered and here they were nine months later. He also made Colin promise not to tell anyone just yet; Patrick had to tell Mom first.





         Before Colin left Patrick showed him the nursery like it was a trophy case.





         “You did all of this?” the younger brother questioned smirking about to laugh.





         Patrick frowned, “No I hired a decorator. I was just fixing the curtains though.”





         “Boy or girl?”





         Shaking his head Patrick stated, “I don’t know. I don’t want to know. Grace knows but I want to be surprised.”





         Colin shook his head in understanding, “You promise to tell Mom?”





         “I’m going over there tonight.”





         “She’s going to be so pissed for you not telling her sooner, like nine months ago.”





         Patrick shook his head not wanting to think about it now.





         “Listen I got to get going now. If you need anything call me, tell me when you become a daddy, and go tell Mom and everybody else.”





         “Okay I will.”








         Instead of going out the front door he went to the backyard. “Grace…”





         Hearing her name pulled her out of the trance she was in, “Huh?”





         “I just wanted to thank you for doing this for my brother.”





         “No problem.”





         He turned to leave but stopped, “Hey, girl or boy?”





         She smirked, “Uncle Colin will know when Daddy finds out.” 





         He laughed, “I forgot I’m going to be an uncle for the first time. I thought I would have to wait for Maggie to get married and have kids.”





         “Bye, Colin, you’re welcome.” Grace waved.





         Five minutes later Patrick came out to the backyard taking a seat next to Grace who was still in another trance.





         “Gracie, I’m sorry I didn’t tell them. I just didn’t know how to start and I…it didn’t seem real until now…”





         She fluttered her eyes, bit her lip, and nodded her head. “A guy doesn’t become a father until he meets his child. But since this is…unique I can understand not telling at least a little bit.” 





         “I’m going to my parents in a while. You can go if you want to get out of the house.”





         Grace’s eyes grew wide her head turned back and forth, “No way are you crazy? Way too awkward.”





         “Well do you want to keep me company while I make us some dinner? You can paint if you want to.”





         She smiled, “How do you know what will make me happy?”





         He smiled and then offered his hand out to her.





         She took it and he helped her out of the chair.








         When he got home later that night he found the painting done, drying on the easel. The house was tidy or at least back to the way it was without Grace’s fingerprints in it. He traveled upstairs to find Grace fast asleep. To him she looked like a precious angel sleeping peacefully despite the bloated stomach. He watched her for awhile then decided to take a seat on the chair eventually falling asleep himself.





         The morning came and with it Grace discovering Patrick bent over on the chair in her room. She couldn’t decide if it was more creepy or sweet, so she just ignored it as she got up.





         Sounds from the bathroom awoke him from his dream. He found the bed empty and a light streaming through the crack in the bathroom door. So he left. He went downstairs to start making breakfast.





         When she came out the chair was deserted, she felt guilty for a second but the feeling passed as soon as it came when the uncomfortable feeling set in from yesterday. Grace put her robe on and went downstairs just to move around in order to find even a little bit of comfort.





         “Good morning,” Patrick stated.





         She jumped, not expecting him to be down here, “Good morning, Patrick. How did last night go?”





         He poured a cup of coffee, “A little weird at first, then they realized they were going to be grandparents again so they got happy. Luckily Maggie was over there so she knows too. I think Colin told her to be over there… So how was the rest of your night?”





         “I finished the painting, as you can see. Messed around with some pictures on my computer and then I went to bed, very eventful night.” She didn’t bother telling him that she had started packing her things because the baby was coming any day now, sooner rather than later.





         “Would you like something to eat?” he questioned watching her watch him drinking his coffee.





         She thought about it, “No I don’t think I could eat anything right now.” A pause came it was like they had nothing to talk about. “Do you want some eggs? I’m in the mood to make eggs.” She got to the refrigerator and began rummaging through it to find all the ingredients.





         “That’s okay, I’m fine.” He rose from the table to stop her rummaging. He stopped square in front of her then closed the door. “Grace,” Patrick turned to her with the most serious look she had ever seen, “I think I love you.”





         She was dumbfounded. Her mind raced with all the thoughts of them together in the past from the very beginning up until that moment. “But you’re the one who broke it off. How can you think you love me when you couldn’t even be with me a couple months ago?”





         “I was scared of what others might say, or I was scared that I was falling hard for you and didn’t want to get hurt.” Patrick stated honestly.





         Drunkenness plagued her face she had no clue what to say.





         “Grace, I love you.” He kissed her sweetly just like he used to the way she liked, cradling her face in his strong hands with his soft lips caressing hers.





         Once her breathing returned to normal Grace quoted Sabrina, “‘There’s a front seat, a back seat and a window in between.’”





         “You don’t believe that.” Patrick said holding her face tighter, “You know she ends up in the back seat in the end.”





         With a tear in her eye, “For this I have to stay up front.” The tear fell and so did Grace’s face, in pain. “Awwwhhhh!” She crouched over his arm trying to brace herself and catch her breath.





         “Are you okay?” His face jumped back and forth from grief to concern.





         Disarray struck it when she grasped her stomach, “I think it’s time.”





         The event that had currently taken place had been hit by a pause button, the baby was now the only thing on either of their minds.








         On the way to the hospital Grace called Aaron telling him it was time. Patrick asked her to call Colin too to start telling everyone.





         Not too long after Aaron got there the baby was on its way. The delivery was quick, both Patrick and Aaron coached Grace through the process…








         Patrick,


         First let me say how hard it is to do this to you. I know I should say good bye in person but I can’t, it’s not possible now. I love you too. I did back then but I didn’t let myself tell you or really feel it until I was carrying your child and I could see the type of man you are in your soul. But I love Aaron and he loves me and he is going to take care of me. You have a little girl to take care of now. Raise her well, I know you will. I know you will be an awesome father and I know she will have you wrapped around her little finger in no time. Aaron packed all my things so you won’t be seeing me. I’m going to recover and then go home for the holidays. Thank you for allowing me to give you this precious gift. I hope you have a Wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!!


                                                                     

Love,

                                                                     

G

**************





         Grace walked out of the jiffy store, stopping short from something that caught her eye. A newspaper headline read: “LOCAL PROFESSOR IN COMA” a picture of Patrick Stone sat underneath of it. Grace stopped breathing and then she realized she needed to start again. She bought the newspaper, took it outside and found a bench. She took a deep breath and opened to the story:

Patrick Stone, 47, is still in a coma from last Saturday’s crash at the intersection of SR441 and SR40. He is stable with only a small arm fracture and some cuts and bruises. The other driver involved was released on Wednesday with a broken leg and some bruises. Stone is surrounded by his Mother and Father, siblings and his young daughter Sabrina. At the college, his office has become a shrine for the beloved professor to wake up and come back to work. Students past and present, along with faculty and staff are turning this sad occasion into a positive by rallying around streets urging drivers to be careful, buckle up, and beware of their surroundings.

         Her next thought was the hospital. She taught herself to breath normal once again then got in her car and drove.





         “Grace?” The receptionist at the hospital smiled, “What are you doing here?”





         “Coley? I thought you were a nurse.” Grace questioned.





         “Yeah I’m just filling in for fifteen minutes Trish had to go to the bathroom.”





         “Oh, got ya. Can I have the room for Patrick Stone?”





         She started typing on the keyboard then stopped, “Professor Stone?”





         “Yeah, I just got back into town and read the paper.”





         “Actually the doctors are letting in family and close friends only.”





         Grace’s face sank, “Oh.” Her eyes began pleading with Coley. “I need to get in there. Can you at least tell me the floor number?”








         “You were really close to him weren’t you?”





         “Yeah he helped me make a really big decision in my life.”





         “Okay, fine but you didn’t hear it from me. 321.”





         Grace smiled, “Thank you.”








         She stepped off the elevator, reading the rooms number sign, it pointed to a waiting room. A few people spotted the room and one semi big group. She skipped the receptionist, walking past rooms 310, 311, 312… She kept walking until number 321 was staring at her. She almost walked in until she heard a soft voice.





         “Patrick, dear you have to wake up now. You’ve been sleeping long enough. Sabrina needs you. It’s almost Christmas your favorite holiday. You missed her birthday but she’ll forgive you if you wake up. She needs you, hell I need you son.” The voice kissed something, “I’ll be back in a little bit.”





         Grace pretended to be walking past as a tall old lady came out of the room. Grace smiled at her.





         The lady smiled back. “It feels good to do that, thank you.”





         “Smiles are contagious.” Grace stated and kept walking.





         A minute later she turned around and slinked into his room. Patrick looked as handsome as he had back then but wisdom and worry aged him. His face was peaceful as he slept. A few wires stuck out here and there and his arm was covered in bandages.





         Grace swallowed hard then spoke, “Hi Patrick,” it barely came out. “It’s Grace, Grace Davies from long ago. I heard about the accident and…” she sat in the chair beside his bed about to break down. “I thought an old friend could help. …No that’s lie; I really don’t know why I’m here.” She touched his hand then ran her fingers through the empty spaces. She studied the differences in the curves of his face. “You have to wake up. You have a little girl remember? She needs her father. I didn’t give you that gift for you to leave her. Patrick it’s time to wake up and seize the day. ‘Carpe Diem’ remember?” A tear fell from her cheek. “There are a lot of people counting on you, count on yourself.” Grace stopped, feeling she was caught. She turned around in her chair to a green eyed girl who looked just like her when she was younger.





         “Oh I’m sorry, Grandma told me to come in here.”





         “Oh no no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here. You’re Sabrina right?”





         The girl smiled, “Yeah.”





         “I’m Grace, an old friend of your dad’s. I just got back in town and I saw the paper. I’m really sorry, I’ll go.” Grace stood to leave.





         “No! Please stay. I don’t want to be alone right now.”





         “Okay,” Grace whispered then returned to her sitting position.





         “So where were you?” Sabrina asked.





         “Huh?”





         “You said you were out of town. Where?”





         “Europe, I was in Paris and then London, Switzerland, then Spain for a little while, and last stop was Rome. Kinda all over.”





         “Sounds like an awesome trip.”





         Grace smiled, “I was living there.”





         Sabrina’s eyes brightened, “Really? All those places?”





         “Yeah each place kept me there for a month or two. I was taking pictures of everything.”





         “How long has it been since you were home?”





         “Uh around two years. I came to visit for holidays and stuff but I loved my life over there.”





         “Why’d you come back then?”





         Grace scrunched her face thinking of the answer. “Enh, it was time. I missed my American food a little too much.”





         “Yeah, I can understand that. Daddy promised for my graduation present to take me to Europe. Mainly Paris, so I can learn how to crack an egg with one hand.”





         Grace smiled, “Sabrina? The movie.”





         “Yeah, every year for my birthday we watch it and plan the trip.”





         “The Audrey Hepburn one right?”





         “Yes, the other one is enh, I like the old one.”





         Grace smiled at the memories, “So when is your birthday?” knowing full well it was three days ago and she turned 12.





         “It was Tuesday, even though it didn’t feel like it.”





         “Oh, Happy Birthday. How old are you?”





         “12.”





         “Wow. It doesn’t seem like that long ago.”





         Sabrina’s face scrunched, “What do you mean?”





         “When I was really close with your father, I moved and I guess you came not long after. It doesn’t seem like 12 years ago.” Grace explained then silenced her ringing cell. “My Mom,” she said referring to the phone. “Speaking of where is your Mom?” Grace probed wanting to know what story Patrick told her.





         “I don’t have one. Dad used to tell me that a beautiful angel dropped me on his doorstep. I finally got it out of him that there was a surrogate, but what still confuses me is that fact that nobody knew he did it until I was born. …I’m not supposed to know that but I overhear things.”





         “He never got remarried?”





         Sabrina shook her head no.





         Grace didn’t know how to respond to that so she just sat there.





         Another presence entered the door, “Sabrina, dear its time…” she stopped short.





         “Grandma this is Grace, she’s an old friend of Dad’s. Grace this is my Grandma Freda.”





         Grace smiled, “Nice to meet you.”





         Freda was shocked then smiled, “Smiles are contagious. It’s nice to meet you Grace.” She couldn’t help but stare at Grace. The similarities between her and Sabrina were astonishing. “So how do you know Patrick again?” she probed searching for something she didn’t even realize yet.





         “Uh, actually when I first met him he was my professor. But after that we became friends, he really helped me make a decision that got me to where I am today.” She wanted to cry, the tears were coming.





         “Oh, what’s that?” Freda asked.





         “He told me to do whatever I wanted to do. Whatever I saw myself doing the most. So I became a photographer, an artist, world traveler, and basically whatever I wanted to do.”





         “My, that sounds exciting.”





         “Yea it has been.”





         Freda looked at her watch, “Sabrina it’s time to go.”





         A rough whispered, “Don’t go” made the room jump.





         All three faces whipped towards the bed. Sabrina and Freda rushed to either side of the awaken man. Grace froze where she was at the corner about to run away but unable to.





         “Patrick?”





         “Daddy?”





         Tears welled from all who were present.





         “Hi angel,” Patrick’s voice was scratchy. “Where am I? What happened?”





         His mother responded, “You were in a car accident last Saturday, you’ve been in a coma for a week. Do you remember anything?”





         “No just a really weird dream, about an old friend.”





         “Was it Grace?” Sabrina questioned playfully.





         Patrick scrunched his face like Sabrina did previously, “How do you know about Grace?”





         “She’s right here, Daddy.” Sabrina said pointing to the corner of his bed.





         His eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped.





         Grace smiled, “Hi. Long time no see.”





         


         “Patrick, how are you feeling?” his mother questioned.





         Grace announced before he could answer, “I’m going to go get the nurse.” leaving the room and the family behind. Once a nurse and doctor were summoned Grace had an epiphany. What was she doing there? Why had she come? The last time she was in this hospital was 12 years ago giving birth to his daughter. She had no right to be there. These thoughts made the want to run a will to leave. So instead of going back to 321 she headed towards the elevators. Her pace was faster than normal but she had to get out of their before something stopped her.





         The ding from the elevator took too long so the stairs would have to do. She whizzed down the first two flights then slowed for the final one. By the time she reached the last step something deep inside stopped her forcing her to sit. She was so close to her destination but couldn’t move another muscle to walk through the door into the lobby and then back into the present.





         Grace could hear the elevator ding and the people getting on and off. The receptionist who was no longer Coley and the gift shop was bustling.





         Then the door to the stairwell opened, “Grace?” Freda stood there looking at the wreck of a once vibrant woman. “What’s wrong dear?”





         Grace was silent for a second but caved, “I don’t know why I am here.”





         Freda said nothing but closed the door then took a seat next to Grace.





         “I really shouldn’t be here. I need to go,” Grace tried to move any ligament but none budged, “But I can’t.”





         “May I ask you a question?” Freda wondered.





         Grace fluttered her eyes that were filling with more tears and nodded yes.





         Freda posed, “Have you ever dated an older man?”





         “I believe that age is just a number, that it doesn’t determine the quality of a person’s soul.”





         The Grandmother was silent contemplating this.





         “If you are hinting at what I think you are, just ask it.” Grace stated bluntly.





         “Okay, what was the real relationship you shared with my son?”





         Grace’s mouth turned up for a second at the memory. “We had a fling… well it started out as a fling.”





         “How long was it?”





         “About four months,” Grace paused, “and then some but it was after I had finished his class. We both didn’t want to get in trouble so we waited thinking the attraction would go away but it never did.”





         “Did you love him?”





         “I know back then he loved me. It was one of the last things he ever said to me. I told him in a letter that I loved him but I had to leave and that was a long time ago.” The tears were now a faucet turned on.





         Freda continued the investigation, “Why does Sabrina look so much like you?”





         “I don’t know what you mean she looks like Patrick.” Grace stated trying to cover.





         “The details of how my granddaughter came to be have been sketchy all these years but I knew someday someone would come around who could explain everything. And you’re that someone aren’t you, Grace?”





         Grace was still contemplating whether or not to come clean. Freda hit it right on the nose, Grace was that someone. “Why wouldn’t Patrick ever tell you that information?”





         “He’s a very private person. If I want to know something I have to pry it out of him, unless he wants to share it.”





         Grace scoffed, “You can’t be serious. He’s never closed off, eventually he’ll tell you.” Then the last night before Sabrina came entered her mind.





         “Maybe with you but not with the family,” Freda smiled at her.





         “Colin knows.” Grace stated innocently.





         “Colin? Colin knows what?” Freda was an expert at getting people to talk.





         “Well he thinks he knows the whole story but he knows only what Patrick told him.”





         Freda probed, “And that is…”





         Grace sat there still pondering what to say. The words were formed perfectly in her head but to say them would open her fate to entirely new possibility but she didn’t realize this. “I was the surrogate for Patrick, twelve years ago. I never really met Sabrina until today but she grew in me for nine months. I was her surrogate mother.”





         The older woman just gasped at this information.





         Grace knew the questions were piling up in Freda’s mind but couldn’t really answer them properly, it was his mother. “So, how is he doing?” attempting to downplay what was just said.





         “How did that happen?” Was the only thing that Freda could articulate.





         Dancing around the truth, “I don’t know. Of what I remember Patrick was talking about children one minute and then the next I was pregnant for him.”





         The awkward questions in the air were just what Grace’s body needed to be able to move. She felt the tingle in her legs and then the yearning for her back to bend another direction.





         Still motionless Freda mulled over the information she had just received but Grace’s question finally registered putting it aside for a second to answer, “He looked fine. The doctor is there checking him out.”





         The stairwell was vacant of words for a time. Doors opening and closing, people passing, baby’s crying and echoes filled the space instead.





         Grace tore the veil of silence, “I’m sorry I told you. Please don’t tell Patrick that you know or how you found out.”





         “Oh honey, I’m glad you told me. I just wish it was Patrick who told me.”





         “But you can’t tell him.”





         “I won’t, don’t worry.”





         Grace smiled mainly with her eyes, “Thank you.” She stood a little wobbly hopping off the last stair.





         A ringing phone bounced off the walls up the stairs. Freda reached in her purse pulling it out. “Hello? ...Oh they are? What did they say? …That’s good. …I’m near the lobby… She’s right here…He is? ...Okay we’ll be up in a minute. Bye.” Freda hung the phone up slipping it back into the purse. “That was Sabrina, they’re done examining him and he really wants to see you.” Freda rose from her seat on the step.





         “I can’t. I need to go.”





         Freda raised her eyebrow, ignoring the comment. She hugged Grace, “You are going to be fine, I promise. Now come on, let’s go.” With one arm still around Grace, she pushed her through the door to the elevator.








         “Freda, I really can’t see him.” Grace pleaded as they passed the early 300 rooms.





         “Yes you can, obviously there is still something there. Why else would you come to the hospital? A person who didn’t care or love someone would not come to see them.”





         The pair turned slowly into 321, detaching to cover the bond that was just determined. 








         A few days before Christmas, Sabrina had been investigating. The way her father behaved and talked about Grace made her wonder. After he was released from the hospital a day later it seemed like the two never stopped being friends. This made Sabrina think about all the clues sitting in front of her. Once she thought she found what she was looking for she was in a mood that no one saw coming now but would eventually, “I found the letter, from when I was born. And the painting in your office has the same ‘G’ signature.” Sabrina then turned to Grace, “You are a ‘G’, Grace. You’re my mom aren’t you?”


         


         Patrick’s living room was overflowing with family that turned into statues, still barely breathing. Grace began to speak but Patrick’s voice came out, “She was a surrogate.”


         


         “My surrogate?” Sabrina questioned wide-eyed.





         Grace nodded her head towards Sabrina. “Patrick, can I talk to you alone?” She then begged quickly.





         The pair vacated the room to occupy the kitchen.


         Grace swallowed hard then started, “I know I have no say in this but I think we should tell her the truth. I want to tell her the whole truth. I don’t care if she hates me, she needs to know.”





         Patrick froze then out of nowhere kissed Grace. It contained the love and passion of twelve years with the words he had always yearned to hear her say.





         Out of breath Grace responded, “What was that for?”





         After the kiss his eyes were engaged to hers’ never dropping his focus “I’ve wanted to tell her the truth about her mother for years. I’ve wanted to tell her that I still love her mother and I think I always will because she gave me my daughter.”





         “Then her mother would ask what has gotten into you? Since when do I have to be the rational responsible one?” Grace attempted to read his face but all she saw was love and a smirk, “It’s been 12 years, we are different people now, aren’t we?” Grace genuinely needed to know.





         He ignored the question, believing it wasn’t necessary, “Let’s go tell our daughter.”





         Still entranced by his eyes, Grace shook her head, “Let’s go tell our daughter.”








         They came into the room filled with the Stone family.





         He gave her an encouraging look.





         She wanted to back out again, but his look and the hand she held told her it would be alright.





         “Do you want me to start?” Patrick whispered to her.





         “No we need to apologize to Colin first.” Grace spoke softly then grew too normal. “Colin, we’re sorry we lied to you about the whole surrogacy thing.”





         Sabrina stood in front of them with her eyes widening with each passing second, “So, there wasn’t a surrogate?”





         “Not necessarily…” Grace began, “Sabrina you were right about the letter and the painting, those were from me. I didn’t actually think he would still have the painting. It wasn’t one of my best ones,” she turned to him smiling, “I was nine months pregnant when I did it.”





         “So you are my mom.” Sabrina interrupted.





         The pair still connected took a deep breath, he squeezed her hand.





         “Yes, Sabrina I’m your biological and ‘surrogate’ mother.”





         The child moved so fast anyone barely saw her throw her arms around the entity. “Ooooh I knew it! You are my mom. You are the coolest person I know and you are my mother.” Sabrina then turned to her father, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”





         “I wasn’t allowed to.” He answered.





         “You could’ve told her the story I told everyone else.” Grace commented not taking all the blame.





         “What story?” Sabrina questioned.





         “It doesn’t matter anymore, you want to know the true story?”





         The rest of the family chimed in with Sabrina, “Yes!”





         Patrick and Grace sat down and got comfortable for the long story. They told it together with Grace explaining most of it. When the spotlight was shown on the whole story the family and Sabrina even from her young age understood why Grace did what she did. Some thought it was foolish, some believed it was the greatest gift anyone could give. Looking over the past in all its details made the once professor and student realize that what they had twelve years ago was unusual but it was special. They had found a friendship and love that defied age differences, geographical separations, and even time.