500 words a day

809 words 3rd March 2010

When I came home from work there was a huge purple elephant painted on the floor of the front room. The paint was still wet and as I stepped in I stepped into it and smeared it, spoiling what would otherwise have been a hideous twee irritating image. Now it was just a hideous image with a wet paint smears and a few purple footsteps alongside it. I took off my clothes and threw them onto the sofa. I then walked to the bathroom to fetch the mop and bucket. For the next two hours I washed the obscenity off the floor. Fortunately it was water based paint.


As it was drying I wandered upstairs with my work clothes to change into something a little more comfortable, warily poking my head round the bedroom door. Only a minor incident there. The bed had been replace by a huge Victorian four poster with side and end curtains. It was so high off the floor that I had to jump up to get in and when I lay back wondering how to stop this shit, I noticed that the top of the bed had gouged deep marks into the ceiling.


Trying to keep my composure I decided to run a bath. I would use the deluxe bath bombs, not mine but Hilary wasn’t ever going to need them now was she, so I could use as many as I wanted. I didn’t even feel guilty saying it. Why didn’t  I make a bit more of the fact. Thinking that, leaving the bath running I went up to her room and rifled through her stuff. There was some jewellery, that I could sell, a wad of £20 notes in a draw, god knows what she kept those for, a huge bladed knife, which was more concerning, and worse still, in the shoebox at the bottom of her wardrobe, a silver shiny gleaming gun. God knows what type but it was cool, fucking cool. I couldn’t stop myself stroking it and pointing it at myself in the mirror and telling myself to freeze motherfucker!





I guessed that if I fired it I might get a bit of a shock and thought I ought to find out if it was loaded or not, but then I was distracted by a noise downstairs. Breaking glass.





I took the gun with me and slowly tiptoed down. The noise had come from the back of the house, sounded like the kitchen. As I got to he bottom of the stairs I heard someone grunting and a thump as they jumped down , presumably from the window, onto the kitchen floor.





I raised the gun, pointing it ahead of me, walked into the kitchen and shouted, freeze mother... but I wasn’t able to finish my sentence. There were three men standing in the kitchen, all armed with what looked like machine guns, all wearing black military style uniforms and all with their guns pointed at me and looks of calm hatred on their faces.





I dropped the gun and raised my hands, even though no one had asked me to do anything, it seemed the right thing to do.





Who, who are you? I asked





They just stared then the one in the middle who was taller than the others, moved towards me and as he did gestured with his gun towards the room behind me. I walked back in and he followed me.


Where’s the fucking elephant! He shouted.


What?


You heard me


Well I...


Yes?


I , I washed it...


What?


I washed it off.


He walked towards me and I stepped backwards but not quickly enough, he whipped the butt of his gun round and smashed me across the face with it. It felt like he broke my nose and I shrieked with pain and fell to the floor holding it, blood gushing out.





You fucking idiot. You couldn’t leave it, could you.


‘What?





Why didn’t you just leave it. You had to interfere didn’t you.


I don’t understand


You understand well enough, I know your sort. Student are you, I bet you are aren’t you. I bet you’re a fucking student. You are aren’t you?





I nodded my head feebly.


Wanker! I knew it. Always have to be tidying up and making everything look normal don’t you, fucking students. Always need peace and quiet and order, no time for fun, certainly no time for purple elephants, Fucking students.





I’m coming back, with these two, he gestured back towards the kitchen, in one hour, when I do, I want to see that lovely purple elephant back on the floor large as life, in fact larger than it was before, you got me.


I nodded and spitting on the floor in front of me he left, using the front door, his two associates following behind him.











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Steve Wybourn





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