Complex Numbers

Don't Look Back

All three of my readers have noticed that I haven't been posting on here in a while.

Sorry about that.

What happened was, I've been having a lot more personal crises than usual.

But that's all behind me now, thanks to a surprise visit on an unseasonably mild day in February.

Sometimes a life change begins with a simple knock on the door. In this case, it was a Sunday afternoon like any other (only warmer, as I've mentioned). I was sitting in my underwear, smoking a cigar, drinking a martini, and watching a pornographic video while playing online Hold 'em. You know, the usual. So the knock on the door was a rude interruption, at best.

I waited for the money shot, then paused the video and went to see who was at the door.

It was a vision of loveliness such as I have never seen. And to her credit, she barely even blinked at my state of dishabille before launching into her well-rehearsed speech.

"Good afternoon! I'm Cindy, and I'm from Westlake Baptist Church. Have you been saved?"

The cigar fell from my numb lips, nearly burning something on its drop, but I barely felt it.

"I... I think so," I said, all my prepared responses to door-to-door savespeople having fled from my mind.

Her smile was like the radiance of a thousand suns. "That's wonderful! So where do you go to church?"

"Church?" I scratched an armpit, then realized what I was doing and stopped. "I don't go to church."

Her face fell. "Oh. But how can you be saved if you don't go to church?"

I fumbled for an answer to that one. A burning pain blossomed in my foot, and I reflexively kicked the still-smoldering cigar off my front stoop, forcing Cindy to do a little jig. All I wanted was to make the smile return to her face. And to make her bounce again. "Er, well, I'm new in town, see? And I haven't shopped around for one yet."

The smile came back, and all was right with the world. "Well, I have good news for you! Westlake is having a special open house tonight, just for new seekers! Will you come?"

"I'm about to," I said. Then, "Um, I mean, I'm about to get dressed. You'll be there, right?"

"Of course!" She offered a pamphlet with directions and the time.

I had time to shower and shave, so I did, then got dressed in a suit that I hadn't worn in a while - it barely fit me, but I sucked in my gut and managed.

And what can I say? The advertising worked. I went for Cindy, but after listening to what they said, I found something much more fulfilling and lasting:

Jesus.

Yes, brothers and sisters, by the time I was done with the open house at Westlake Baptist Church, I was well and truly saved. I finally understood what people meant by "I saw the light." It was as if the church roof opened and the fiery light of Heaven streamed in and bathed away all my sins.

And I'm not ashamed to admit that it made me weep copious tears of joy.

I barely even noticed Cindy's hug on my way out the door, such was the rapture of my enlightenment.

When I got home, I went to the computer (still open to a filthy porn site and sinful gambling game), thinking I'd throw the wicked device out of the window, but the hand of the Lord stopped me. "Robert," I heard from all around, "How wilt thou share the good news with others if thee gettest rid of it entirely? Nay, deleteth thou thine browsing history and thine cookies that temptation may no longer bedevil thee."

Naturally, I obeyed the Lord's command, happy to know I was going to get the chance to spread the good news.

The rest of my drink went down the sink, followed by all of the sinful bottles of the Devil's drink in my cabinet and refrigerator. When they were gone, the kitchen seemed empty, forlorn - much as I had been before I saw the Light. But I knew I would fill them again, fill them with the power of the Lord.

Likewise, my cigars went by the wayside, this task accomplished by breaking them and crumbling their remains into the petunias.

Happily sin-free and for the first time optimistic about the future and my own eternal life, I fell into a deep and blissful sleep that night.

So, you ask, why did it take me so long to share the news with all of my good friends on Writing.com?

Well, it turns out that being saved is HARD. I wrestled with my conscience the next morning, when I automatically reached down to touch myself impurely, as was my habit. I caught myself at just the last moment though, but the rest of that day - and the weeks that followed - have been one battle against Satan after another.

It's only been a few days (and several prayer meetings with Cindy) since the turmoil has finally stopped. Jesus has forgiven me for all my past sins; I know that now. And even if I sin again in the future, inadvertently, I know that Jesus will forgive me for that, too, even as Cindy has forgiven me for making inappropriate overtures to her.

It's all going to be okay, now. And I pray, all day, every day, that all of you folks out there see the light as I have.