Defying Fortune

Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

((The Music))
This is a song written and performed by Colin Hay. This may sound familiar for those who were listening to music in the 1980's and a band called Men At Work. I enjoy the gritty quality of his voice. It brings out the personality of the song, and the acoustics of a simple guitar.

And who isn't intrigued by the title, let alone the lyrics? Who hasn't felt that feeling at some point? It is a calling almost to that yearning inside.

((The Life))
Today didn't start out the way it should of, and now I'm fighting to catch up. But there comes a point and time when you get tired of fighting. There's so much to do. The stuff around the house, the papers and questions I need to answer on the board, the prepping for tomorrow in class, the reviews and responsibilities here. So damn much to do...there's just isn't enough time.

I keep wondering if I'm doing what I should be doing. What should take priority and what shouldn't. I haven't been sleeping well, even with the Melatonin. When you have to take a fistful of your sleeping medication just to get to sleep and that only gives you enough to get a couple of winks, you've got a problem. Yet, I'm not surprised.

Because of everything that's happened this semester (the irony of not having a good GPA showing while being inducted into Phi Theta Kappa doesn't allude me) I'll be taking courses the first eight weeks before I head to Ireland. The hope was to take some time off and actually enjoy a summer without work. Turns out I'm a much bigger creature of habit than I thought I was. Three courses - eight weeks. Its like combat training in the army, only academics. And it won't kill me.

More and more the wish to runaway keeps popping up in my head. I mention it to my mom and she laughs, getting the emotions behind it. How many times did she feel that same thing when my brothers and I were growing up? Yet, I think I'm a little more serious about it than she was. I mention it to my guy, and he always asks if he can come along. That's our down time together, talking about where we could escape to for a while. It's almost scary how much I think we're getting more serious about actually going.

March wasn't the best of month's, and I believe this is just the aftermath of that. The fatigue after a long battle. It'll get better tomorrow. Hopefully...