15 For 15 Entries ~ June 2010

Waiting ~ June 3

Janice unclasped her hands, but they snapped back together. Sweat trickled down the small of her back, even though her fingers were numb with cold. Or maybe that was lack of circulation. She disentangled the pale digits and gave them a shake, rising up on tippy-toe and straining to see past the fireman. What could be taking so long? There probably had never been a fire. The idiot who’d pulled the office building alarm had better never find himself face to face with her in a dark alley. Hope he was getting his jollies while she stood there, waiting. Waiting. The word sent her pulse raced again, and again she slipped precariously close to the edge of panic.

Come on, use Dr. Sach’s strategies, her thoughts hissed. But her mind was vacant, a vacuum of senses except the deafening rush of blood in her ears. The ground tilted. Breathe. That was it! Strategy number one, breathe. By the third lungful of air, her legs were less wobbly. Okay. I’m okay.

Strategy number two. Make a list of times you waited and you didn’t die. Those weren’t Dr. Sach’s words, but he didn’t really know what she felt, did he? Janice furrowed her brow, scowling at the fireman and his placid face. Is he bored? He looks bored. Lists, okay…

Last week in the grocery store she’d been stuck in a line at the register. She’d only run in on the way home from work for a Lean Cuisine. Damn diet. The old crow at the head of the line had a coupon for every item she purchased. Fishing each out from that plastic sandwich baggie had taken forever. Then she’d paid not with cash, but with coins. Janice clenched her jaw before remembering to relax those muscles.

And, there was the last time she’d been in for a pap smear. The nurse had instructed what articles of clothing should come off for the exam and left her in the little cubicle of a room. Those were thirty-seven minutes of pacing she’d never get back. Janice breathed deep, out her nose.

On the next inhalation, she remembered the evening spent with Dan something-or-another. The blockbuster movie had been new in theaters that night, and the line snaked around the block. Janice smiled. Luckily, old Dan was a frisky date and a great kisser…

Her heart beat was close to normal, she realized. Just then, the fireman announced the building was safe to reenter. Hallelujah, thought Janice. She'd survived.

She followed the crowd of co-workers back into the building. Just inside the lobby doors, she was forced to stop. The mass of people waiting for elevators seemed to crush her from all sides. Her hands snapped together and her racing heartbeat pounded in her ears.